This one page has the full transcript of all ten episodes of John From Cincinnati. I created it for myself to make searching for particular text or video segments easier. I thought others might benefit from it. The original transcripts with all credits, sound files, pictures, etc. are on

Link to John's "Sermon on The Snug" in Ep. 6



Transcription by Groggy


(Imperial Beach, California, near the Mexican boarder. Early morning. An SUV, headlights still on, pulls up and parks. The driver, Linc Stark, gets out of the SUV and makes his way down to a deserted and secluded stretch of beach. A lone surfer is on the water. Linc watches him. A younger man appears behind Linc, seemingly from nowhere.)


John: The end is near.

Linc: Amen, my brother. (A small, scattered group of Mexicans scurry by in the brush behind them.) Those illegals act like it’s just another day at the beach. You know Mitch Yost? (Mitch Yost, the lone surfer, has emerged from the ocean.) 

John: Mitch Yost should get back in the game.

Linc: Couple of fun ones, eh, Mitch?

John: You should get back in the game, Mitch Yost.

Mitch: (to John) You should mind your own business. (to Linc) Go fuck yourself. (Mitch keeps on walking by.)


Linc: (to John) In case you’re not crazy, I go back 20 years with this family. The deal with the kid is in the works, so stay away. Or whoever’s paying you better have you on a good health plan.


(Cut to a different beach and pier. Cissy Yost is up on the pier, overlooking a much busier beach. She watches a surfer headed for the water)


Cissy: (calling down) Sammy, Sammy! Tell Shaun he needs to stop by the shop.

Sammy: Okay.

Cissy: Don’t forget. Give you a free bar of wax.


(Cissy leaves. After her departure, an attractive young blonde woman crosses the pier from the opposite side of the pier. She assumes, roughly, Cissy’s vacated vantage point, and looks out on the water. Quickly enough she finds her focus: Shaun Yost…surfing.)


(Cut back to the deserted beach, Linc has caught up with Mitch. They walk together.)


Linc: I got nothing to do with that space cadet back there. I would never disrespect your retirement.

Mitch: (having stepped on something) Godddamnit! A syringe. Maybe it’s one of Butchie’s.

Linc: What’s happened with Butchie is one of the biggest regrets of my life.

Mitch: Yeah, well, now he’s proven to the world he can fuck up just fine without sponsorship.

Linc: Am I going to see you at Huntington this afternoon?

Mitch: Why would you see me at Huntington? Nobody’s seen me there in 20 years.

Linc: Your grandson’s breaking his cherry. I just assumed you knew.

Mitch: Well, I didn’t. And if it’s for a competition, don’t assume you’re gonna see him, and for sure don’t expect to get your fangs in his neck like you did in Butchie’s.

Linc: He sent this to me. (Linc hands Mitch a video disc.) 

Mitch: (reads aloud) “Sponsor Me.” Fucking Butchie wants to get Shaun signed?

Linc: Shaun sent it.

Mitch: Jesus Christ! What?

Linc: He’s 13, Mitch.

Mitch: Yeah, you sign 8 year-olds.

Linc: Look, this is gonna happen. He wants to get signed, and he’s the real deal. And he’s a Yost. Trust the devil you know, Mitch.


(Cut to the Snug Harbor Motel. Meyer Dickstein and Ramon Gaviota exit the office.)


Ramon: So fast, after nothing so long.

Dickstein: I know the WMD fiasco in Iraq is fresh in both our memories, Ramon.

Ramon: There were none.

Dickstein: And I may be as wrong in my intelligence estimate as the CIA, but the man who just purchased this motel doesn’t strike me as the most pleasant person.


(A man’s voice: “Motherfucker!” Butchie Yost’s van has pulled into the Snug Harbor’s parking lot and approaches Dickstein and Ramon.)


Ramon: Butchie probably better split.

Dickstein: Certainly he can’t stay on present terms.

Ramon: As a deadbeat?

Dickstein: Say he paid you $200.

Ramon: Like that’s gonna happen.

Dickstein: We can tell the new owner we just discovered Butchie squatting.

Ramon: What about the six months worth of garbage in his room?

Dickstein: Butchie Yost revolutionized surfing, Ramon. He changed the entire idea of it.

Ramon: This place was supposed to stay vacant, and I think you’re a little old for hero worship.

Butchie: (exiting van) Ladies.

Dickstein: Butchie, a moment.

Butchie: Was the brigade out today?

Dickstein: We were, yes. The Association of Surfing Attorneys.

Ramon: Butchie, the motel just sold. It’s out of receivership.

Butchie: I have to take a horrendous dump, Ramon. And after that I want to hear every fucking detail.

Dickstein: This is very important. (Butchie disappears into his motel room.) 

Ramon: Can I show you something?

Dickstein: I settled Yost’s injury claim with the city yesterday, Ramon.

Ramon: When he passed out under the beach sweeper.

Dickstein: He got $2300.

Ramon: Yesterday.

Dickstein: If that’s already gone, I’m good for the $200.


(Dickstein and Ramon are now standing before an enormous pile of junk.)


Ramon: I’m gonna get the truck. You put these on (gives Dickstein a pair of gloves), and we’ll neaten up for the new owner. We’ll do this fast. I’ll be back.


(Cut to Butchie in his room, we watch him preparing to shoot up.)


(Cut to Mitch at the beach at the back of his station wagon, Mitch dumps a gallon of water over his head. Then, he notices he’s levitating about four inches off the ground. He looks down, then looks around, puzzled)


(Cut to John, off in the brush somewhere near the beach, hears a disembodied voice, and looks up.)


Vietnam Joe: Hey, frat boy. Drove down to T.J. to see the donkey show, did you? Some dickhead spike your drink? (emerging from the thick brush) 50 bucks, I’ll drop you anywhere within Imperial Beach. Turn out your pockets. Turn out your pockets. (John does as he’s told, and something falls to the ground. Vietnam Joe picks it up.) 50 on the nose. Let’s go before the Migra jumps our shit. (grabbing John’s hand, leading him toward the truck) Goddamn taco benders just ran past me like I was Homeland Security. Too goddamn ignorant to realize who wants to help them.

John: Some things I know, and some things I don’t.

Vietnam Joe: Spare me the babe-in-the-woods routine. You just paid to see a donkey fuck a woman.


(Cut to Butchie’s room. He’s on his cell phone.)


Butchie: No, I’m disappointed, Freddie, out here in California. I’m out this $2300. I got beat on the buy. Freddie, I cannot make myself believe that that gland case and his fucking ice-cream truck had the balls to fucking screw me on an ounce without your fucking say-so.


(Outside, Shaun Yost, with his surfboard under his arm, skateboards into the Snug Harbor parking lot.)


Dickstein: (calling) Young Mr. Yost! (to Ramon) Butchie’s son. He shreds. Butchie’s parents have custody. Probation situation, I took care of it.


(Shaun knocks on Butchie’s door. “Goddamnit!” from within.)


(Inside Butchie’s room.)


Butchie: I’ll come back at you, Freddie. It’s not like I got too much downside. All right, and you better make it fucking right.


(Butchie snaps off his cell. The knocking on the door continues.)


Butchie: I’m not done with my dump yet, Ramon.

Shaun: (from outside) It’s me, Dad.

Butchie: (opening the door) Hey, Shaunie. How’s it going, buddy? Come on in. Sorry about the fucking mess. The grom that I paid to clean it up got hit by a fucking van.

Shaun: How long ago?

Butchie: Yeah…I gotta get a replacement, huh? What’s going on? How’s sixth grade?

Shaun: It was good.

Butchie: Yeah, you want something to drink? Tap water ain’t fatal.

Shaun: I’m supposed to surf at an event at Huntington this afternoon.

Butchie: (surprised) Your grandfather sign off on that?

Shaun: Gram did.

Butchie: That sounds more like it.

Shaun: Think you might want to go?

Butchie: No. Fuck. Not if you want them to let you on the water. I’m fucking barred up there, buddy.

Shaun: From watching too?

Butchie: What the fuck do I want to go up there for, Shaunie, okay? Those things are fucking bullshit.

Shaun: Okay.

Butchie: Not for you. You know, okay, I mean, I don’t give a fuck if you want to.

Shaun: Okay.

Butchie: It’s not that I don’t give a fuck, okay? When did I ever tell you not to do something? It’s all I’m trying to say, okay?

Shaun: Okay.

Butchie: Everyone says you’re great. You’ll probably fucking win the thing and get sponsored and all that shit.

Shaun: Anyways…

Butchie: Just don’t pull your left nut out.

Shaun: (as he leaves) Like you did your last event?

Butchie: Yeah. It tends to get you DQ-ed.



(Shaun Yost’s “Sponsor Me” video plays. Mitch and Cissy are watching it at the surf shop.)


Cissy: Butchie wasn’t that good when he was 13. Were you?

Mitch: Did you take that footage?

Cissy: Some. Some Shaunie collected from his friends. He put it together.

Mitch: But you sent it to Linc.

Cissy: I sent one to everyone Shaun thought might want to sponsor him.

Mitch: Including the bastard that helped turn Butchie into the ditch-sleeping doper shitbird he is today?

Cissy: Shaun doesn’t have to be Butchie.

Mitch: Yeah, but you’re still you, aren’t you, Cissy? You entered Shaun in the contest today.

Cissy: He entered. I signed the forms as guardian. (Shaun enters the shop.) 

Shaun: Hi, Gram, Gramps.

Mitch and Cissy: Hey.

Shaun: Sammy said you wanted me to stop by?

Cissy: How’d that board feel?

Shaun: It was good.

Cissy: Not too stiff? We’re worried about those rails. (Kai enters.) 

Kai: Hey, Shaun.

Shaun: Hey, Kai.

Kai: (to Mitch and Cissy) Morning.

Mitch: (to Shaun) Go in the back. (long pause) Go in the back.

Kai: Come on, let’s go in the back, Shaun.

Shaun: I guess I’m supposed to be there by 11:00.


(Shaun and Kai go in the back.)


Mitch: You are not taking him up to that contest today. And any permissions you’ve signed I’ll drive up there and rescind. I’ll rip up the waivers. I’ll bury any money-bitch-would-be sponsor in a pit, starting with Linc-fucking-Stark. What happened to Butchie is not happening to Shaun.

Cissy: I understand. The Kahuna has spoken.

Mitch: And I got fucking cancer. Right here in my brain.


(Mitch leaves. Shaun and Kai are playing checkers in the back when Cissy joins them.)


Cissy: Get to Bill’s house, Shaunie. Tell Bill I hoped he would drive you to your event.

Shaun: Could you call him?

Cissy: You know how he is about the phone. Here’s your accident liability waiver. I already mailed in your entry and your fee. Don’t show it to Bill until you get to the event. Otherwise, he’ll be worried about it all the way up. Show it to him when you get to Huntington, when you’re walking to the registration table. But then you watch him give it to them.

Shaun: Okay, Gram.

Cissy: ‘Cause they have to get it from an adult.

Shaun: Okay.

Cissy: Then, you just put your jersey on, and you paddle out and you kick some ass.


(In Vietnam Joe’s truck, moving down the road. John sticks his head out the window like a dog who loves the wind in his face.)


Vietnam Joe: You comfy-cozy sweat-pea? Slip you a mickey and then forget to roll you--typical beaner behavior.

John: Some things I know, and some things I don’t.

Vietnam Joe: Tell me something you know.

John: The end is near.

Vietnam Joe: Huh! Feel that way half the time myself.

John: Mitch Yost should get back in the game.

Vietnam Joe: I don’t know Mitch Yost.

John: I should have a good health plan, I see Mitch Yost again.

Vietnam Joe: Butchie Yost I know. Flops in that shithouse on 7th.

John: What do you want?

Vietnam Joe: What do you mean?

John: Some things I know, and some things I don’t.

Vietnam Joe: I’ll drop you at Butchie’s. He may know where Mitch is. Get you your health coverage. Then I’m gonna role a fuckin' fat one. (Vietnam Joe slaps a ball cap on John’s head.)


(Cut to an interior, living room, Bill Jacks is standing in the middle of the room, vacantly staring at his TV. Shaun enters, letting himself in.)


Shaun: How’s it going, Bill?

Bill: How are you? They’re running the Mexican wrestling. I’ll tell you one thing, they’re overexposing these masked midgets.

Shaun: Grams asked me to ask you if you wouldn’t mind driving me today.

Bill: No, no, no. Not at all.

Shaun: Don’t tell Gramps about any of it, okay, Bill?

Bill: You know, my neck is killing me.

Shaun: Your fibromyalgia?

Bill: You making fun of me? ‘Cause that’s a written diagnosis by a VA physician.


(Shaun, nosing around one of Bill’s birdcages, discovers a bird, motionless and on its back.)


Shaun: What happened to Zippy? (Bill comes over.) 

Bill: Oh, my God.

Shaun: Is Zippy dead?

Bill: It’s all right. (wiping a tear from his eye) This happens. This is something you learn to accept.

Shaun: Zippy was a good bird.

Bill: (sobbing) That’s right. That’s correct. When you’re older, you’ll understand.

Shaun: Should we burry him? (Bill removes the lifeless bird from the cage.) 

Bill: That’s not for you. You’ll have more than one occasion later. I got Twinkies around. You want a Twinkie?

Shaun: I can help, Bill. Let me help.

Bill: You don’t hold onto a bird once it’s passed. This is something that you learn.


(Shaun strokes Zippy. The bird squawks to life, flutters up and away, then lands and perches on Bill‘s extended finger.)


Bill: Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

Shaun: He’s alive!

Bill: Well, this is…this is something. Zip, we thought you croaked. Gimme a kiss. (Bill raises Zippy to his face, and Zippy gives him an affectionate peck.) Give the kid a kiss too. As long as you’re being stupid. (Bill reaches over to Shaun, and Zippy gives Shaun a peck too.) 

Shaun: Hey, Zippy!

Bill: I’ll tell ya, I don’t know anymore if I’m on foot or on horseback, or if a bird’s alive or dead.

Shaun: He was dead, Bill.

Bill: Obviously, he wasn’t. When you’re older, you’ll understand.

Shaun: I saw him.

Bill: I’m losing my train of thought lately. Everything else, you’ll understand more when you’re fully grown.

Shaun: That is sick. (Shaun starts doing a head bob, imitating Zippy.) 

Bill: What are you doing? You want to get fibromyalgia?

Shaun: (still bobbing) It’s cool.


(Cut to the surf shop.)


Kai: Christ, Moke ordered a fish. You kidding me? He’s going to sink that friggin’ thing.

Cissy: Why does what happened to Butchie make it fucked up to help Shaunie do what any 13 year-old would want to? He fucking forbids me to let Shaunie compete.

Kai: I’m not Mitch’s wife, Cissy.

Cissy: All the time you spend with Shaun…you know Butchie better than anybody.

Kai: Or Shaun’s guardian. Or Butchie’s mother.

Cissy: And he tells me he’s got a brain tumor.

Kai: Mitch has got a brain tumor? (A strange look comes over Cissy’s face, as if a revelation is gestating.) 

Cissy: (to herself) Wouldn’t put it past him either, the fucking jerk.(Cissy puts her jacket on.)


(Butchie’s room. He’s jonesin‘. He has his phone to his ear and he hears, “It beeped: leave me a message.”)


Butchie: Yeah, I know what to do at the beep. Here’s your fucking message, Freddie. In one more fucking hour, someone hasn’t shown up to get me right, you get hit in Hawaii by a law enforcement tsunami, and your ice-cream man goes over a cliff in his fucking truck.


(Outside, in the Snug Harbor parking lot, the truck is fully loaded.)


Ramon: Looks like we got a full load. You’re really good at this.(Dickstein, in the back of the pickup truck, jumps down and hands Ramon his gloves.) 

Dickstein: I have office business, Ramon. Have to go home and wash up before I conduct it. The new owner takes possession at 3:00. Mr. Cunningham. I’ll be back then.

Ramon: Don’t forget. Bring the $200 with you. (Vietnam Joe’s truck pulls into the Snug Harbor lot.) 

Dickstein: Here’s another one who has to change his ways.

Ramon: Vietnam Joe.

Dickstein: The Snug Harbor’s closed as a stop on his underground railroad.

Ramon: That guy doesn’t fit Joe’s profile.

Vietnam Joe: The Three Stooges. I could eat a bowl of soup off of either of your heads. Which room in this palace is Butchie Yost’s?

Ramon: If he was here, he’d be in F.

Vietnam Joe: (turning to John) Okay, you go over there. (showing John how to knock) You knock on the door. Show me. Yeah. You’re on your own. (Vietnam Joe takes the cap off John’s head as John gets out of the truck.) 

Dickstein: Ramon wants to talk to you, Joe. (Vietnam Joe drives off.) 

Dickstein: (pointing at John moving toward Butchie’s door) Try to keep that short.


(Butchie’s room. Knocking.)


John: (from outside) What do you want, Butchie Yost? (Butchie spies out the peephole and sees John.)

Butchie: (speaking through the door) I want to see some dope coming out of your pockets. Or my $2300.


(John produces a wad of cash from his pocket. Butchie opens the door, moves out quickly and looks suspiciously around.)


Here I am. Eyes to see the sunset loaded. And just flew off the handle with your people. What a fucking jerk. Let’s go call the ice-cream man and tell him I’m sorry.  (He takes John inside)


(Outside Mitch’s Clubhouse in the Yost’s back yard. Cissy approaches with determination.)


Cissy: I’m coming in, Mitch! (ascending the outer stairs) The Grand Poohbah’s Inner Sanctum! Holy father, great Tao. Fucking Dalai Lama. (She enters.) Why would you think you’ve got brain cancer?

Mitch: I’m hallucinating.

Cissy: You been getting high?

Mitch: No. It wasn’t a hallucination. It’s not like acid.

Cissy: You just said you were hallucinating.

Mitch: I used the wrong word.

Cissy: So, what’s the right word? Your sinuses are plugged? ‘Cause that does point straight at brain cancer.

Mitch: In the lot, after I surfed, I…I was up in the air…is how it felt.

Cissy: Half the time with ear infections, I get dizzy like that. Go to see a doctor.

Mitch: If I’ve got a tumor, I don’t want their machines getting ahold of me.

Cissy: Welcome to the rest of our fucking lives! You surf when no one can see you…me especially. Rest of the day you’re in your clubhouse. Next week or next year, we’ll get the call: Butchie’s dead in some fucking dumpster. But the breaking news today: Shaun doesn’t get out either. ‘Cause Big Mitch fucking forbids it. Because 20 years ago his knee got a boo-boo.

Mitch: A boo-boo…they nearly amputated.

Cissy: Suppose you do have a tumor. Suppose you’re fucking dying. How are you gonna kill the time before you check out? What about the healing power of sex?


(Cut to Butchie’s room.)


Butchie: Right. (closes his cell phone) You give me $2300 and the ice-cream man says he doesn’t know you. Empty your pockets, bro, so we don’t start not getting along. All right, show me something with your name on it. (John pulls out his pockets and produces a credit card.)

These fucking platinum cards got that rocket fuel, don’t they, John? Vroom, vroom!

John: Vroom!

Butchie: What were you up to, John, just before you came to see me? Was there a little bit of (faux toking) the wacky-tabacky involved? (John imitates Butchie’s faux toke.)Does that ring a bell?

John: Does it ring a bell?

Butchie: Where I’m going, John, is are you fucked up at the present moment? Speed, freon, tire sealer, the little green chunks from the kitty litter?

John: Doesn’t ring a bell.

Butchie: Who I am rings a bell, right, John? You know I am Butchie Yost.

John: Butchie Yost rings a bell!

Butchie: All right, John, we’ll work with what we got. Now my conclusion, not confusing myself with Sherlock Holmes, is A: you’re a little shy; B: you just broke your piggy bank or you have a few dollars in the family; and C: you’re here to surf with the beast. (Butchie points at a surfing poster of himself on the wall.) 

John: I am here to surf with the beast!

Butchie: Butchie the Beast Yost--bringing him out of semi-retirement.

John: Bring Butchie out of semi-retirement.

Butchie: You fucking learn from the best, fuck the rest, and doing that costs top dollar!

John: Top dollar rings a bell.

Butchie: (leaning in close, almost whispering in John’s ear) It wouldn’t be the first time, John, that worried parents were part of the story. How about worried doctors?

John: Worried doctors aren’t part of the story.

Butchie: Or worried parents?

John: Worried parents don’t ring a bell, Butchie. (Apparently satisfied enough with John’s responses about parents and doctors, Butchie resumes moving about the room.) 

Butchie: Of course, parts of my story you don’t know either, John. I mean, I’m no open book to you. Whatever bullshit you read in those magazines. Here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna take each other at face value, John, and get to know each other better as we go along. Now, money’s gonna have to change hands between us, John. You’re gonna be spending some of that cash. You got expenses, fees. I need to know that you’re down for that.

John: I’m down for that.

Butchie: Let me hear it John, how big you’re fucking down for it.

John: I hear it big, Butchie.

Butchie: John and his cash and his plastic are down with Butchie the Beast!

John: I’m down! (John hits his knees, drops to all fours and bows his head.)

Butchie: Don’t do that, John. Don’t--(Butchie lowers himself to his knees.)

Okay, let’s pick up our credit card. And let’s be adult around our possessions.


(Cut to Mitch’s Clubhouse. Cissy and Mitch are in bed together.)


Mitch: Was Shaun really disappointed when you told him he couldn’t go?

Cissy: He never shows what he’s feeling.

Mitch: Yeah, he plays it pretty close to the vest. I think that’s good. Maybe we should get a camera. Just to show it’s not…if I feel it happening again…going up in the air.

Cissy: I get it. I’ll pick you one up at Jenco. (Mitch reaches over to touch Cissy, but she rolls away and gets out of bed. Mitch sits up himself, then dangles his legs over the edge of the bed, letting his feet hover inches above the floor.)


(Cut to the surf shop. John and Butchie enter.)


Butchie: I’ hope you’re doodling, ‘cause I know you can’t write.

Kai: Urgent care’s down the street.

Butchie: Say hi to John, Kai.

Kai: Hi, John.

John: Hi, Kai.

Butchie: My student and main man. We want an outfit nose to tail. (Butchie slaps the platinum card on the counter.) Full-goddamn-pop of every wetsuit and surfboard we fucking-A decide to buy, right, John? 

John: Fucking-A, right!

Butchie: Full fucking quiver. Special attention to the board shaped by the little lady here, meaning she will benefit from that rocket propellant in your fucking platinum card.

Kai: Maybe he just wants to start with one.

Butchie: Hey, check out those boards, John. Examine ‘em closely while Kai and I have a talk. Every surfer needs a backup. Dos minimum.

John: Dos minimum.

Butchie: Wouldn’t this be a day to write home about if I wasn’t homeless and disowned? I finally get that fucking injury settlement, and I fucking invest in a lid, and that fucking Samoan sells me quinine.

Kai: Too bad you don’t have malaria.

Butchie: What the fuck is that suppose to mean?

Kai: Where did you come up with him?

Butchie: He came up with me. He knocked on my fucking door. John Monad.

Kai: Sounds French. (John is running his finger along the edges of surfboards and sneaking peeks at Kai.) 

Butchie: What, the Dragon Lady call in sick? ‘Cause she isn’t. She’s taking Shaunie to Huntington.

Kai: Is that right?

Butchie: Or maybe you already knew.

Kai: Shaun wanted to enter, Butchie. He’s been working on a “Sponsor Me” video for months.

Butchie: Why don’t you just enter him in a jerk-off competition, ‘cause he’s been working his Johnson in the bathroom?

Kai: I didn’t enter him.

Butchie: Well, you didn’t tell me when I walked in here.

Kai: It’s your family.

Butchie: She signs your paycheck.

Kai: You haven’t seen Shaun in six months, Butchie.

Butchie: You have no fucking clue, Kai, how much time we spend together.

Kai: Yeah, right. He’s a liar.

Butchie: Hey, fuck you, Kai! I try to throw you some fucking business, and you put my balls in a vice?

Kai: You know, I don’t need you to throw me any business.

Butchie: Okay, sorry to fucking bother you. Give my love to my mom. Come on, John.

John: Bye, Kai. (Butchie leads John out by the hand. Kai waves at John.)


(Outside the surf shop as John and Butchie exit.)


Butchie: God, who does she think she fucking is?

John: She’s Kai, Butchie.

Butchie: I signed over custody so I wouldn’t louse that kid up. Fucking had to, to get fucking probation. Where is my fucking phone?

John: Some things I know, and some things I don’t.

Butchie: I don’t suppose you have a phone, John, do you?

John: Some things I know, and some things I don’t.

Butchie: Jesus Fucking Christ! You know, every time you wanna say, “Some things I know, and some things I don’t,” just say, “I don’t know, Butchie, “ instead.

John: I don’t know, Butchie, instead. (Butchie starts patting John down, searching for a phone. Doesn‘t take him long to find one.) 

Butchie: (punching numbers into the phone) I wanna see where my old fucking man is in all this shit. Where’s Mitch, the Holy Man Yost?

John: I like Kai.

Butchie: Yeah, you would, John. I’m beginning to see that about you. You probably can bone her if you try hard enough.

John: I’ll bone her.

Butchie: Yeah. Might want to have to bust her jaw first so she’d shut the fuck up.


(Mitch picks up the phone in his Clubhouse.)


Mitch: Hello.

Butchie: Congratulations on being a gutless fucking cunt.

Mitch: What the fuck is that suppose to mean?

Butchie: It means you’re a selfish fucking cocksucker, that’s what! What, you’re tired of no one asking you, so you go ahead and okay for him?

Mitch: Maybe you wanna tell me what the fuck you’re talking about.

Butchie: Shaun in Huntington.

Mitch: He’s not going.

Butchie: He’s there then with you? What’s that, Dad, I can’t hear?

Mitch: Well, I’ve forbidden it. Your mother will see that he doesn’t go.

Butchie: Mother? Did you say, mother will see? That’s a good one, Pop. ’Cause I got news for you. Mother will see to it that he does go. And then you won’t have a fucking clue until the deal is done. But that’s gonna be okay with you, isn’t it? Mother does the dirty spadework, while fucking Shaun wins a few dirty competitions. And more dirty money starts flowing into Mitch’s fucking ashram.

Mitch: Yeah, don’t forget the dirty needles, Butchie. How about that other dirty business you’re not in? Of being a fucking father to your son. So your mother and I had to wind up taking legal custody. I oughta drive down to that shitbox you live in and kick your fucking ass!

Butchie: You could fucking try, Dad.

Mitch: I’m on my way, Son.

Butchie: Don’t forget to lube up your bone-on-bone knee, you fucking goat!

Mitch: Don’t forget to shoot up some courage.

Butchie: Fuck you! (Hangs up phone.) What a dick! I think he’s actually gonna come. Goddamn. I gotta get high. I gotta get good and fucking high. So I can kick that cocksucker’s fucking ass.

John: Fucking high, I gotta get high. I gotta get high, man. (Butchie takes John by the hand and begins leading him to the van.)

Butchie: Are you from someplace cold, John?

John: I don’t know, Butchie, instead.

Butchie: I bet if you’re from someplace cold, John, that your mom clipped your mittens to your fucking coat. (Butchie gets John in the van.) You want to meet a happy family, watch Saturday morning cartoons, John. Meet the fucking Jetsons!

John: Meet the fucking Jetsons!

Butchie: (getting behind the wheel) Hey, you wanna see my old man get his ass kicked? Just take a ride with me, pal.


(Cut to Jenco, a huge all-purpose store. Cissy pushes her cart along. She stops to ask assistance from a stock boy who is stacking a display of toilet paper.)


Cissy: I’m looking for an instamatic.

Gary: Would you consider a diabetic, if hardworking and handsome?

Cissy: An instamatic camera, (looking at his nametag) Gary.

Gary: We don’t have them.

Cissy: You don’t?

Gary: No. No instamatics. I’m fully acquainted with our inventory, Ma’am. We don’t. We no longer carry instamatics. We have digital cameras , and we have disposables. And those are all in aisle 74.


(Cissy takes a few swipes at Gary’s meticulously stacked toilet paper display. Rolls of toilet paper fly and fall to the floor.)


Gary: Okay, those nearly hit me.

Cissy: No, those nearly didn’t.


(Cut to Bill Jacks and Shaun in Bill's truck. They are in heavy traffic. Light turns green and Bill doesn’t move. A horn honks.)


Bill: Up your ass! Up your nose with a rubber hose. (Another horn honking.) Yeah, Fuck you. (to Shaun) Excuse me, I lost my temper.


(At Jenco. Cissy’s in the checkout line. Gary and somebody from Security approach.)


Security: Step out of the line please, Ma’am.

Cissy: Why?

Security: Please, step out of the line.

Cissy: You fucking idiot with your tin badge and your stupid goatee.

Security: (Speaking into radio) 427.

Cissy: Oh, we’re up to a 427 now? You going for the mace and tasers?

Security: Please step out to the line.

Gary: (to gathering customers) These checkout lines are closed, folks. They’ll help you over here. Thanks a lot.

Cissy: This guy made a half-assed pass at me.

Gary: I’m a diabetic. I did no such thing.

Security: Come with me, Ma’am. (Security tries to grab Cissy’s arm, but she shakes free.)

Cissy: Just get your hands off me.

Security: Ma’am, Ma’am.

Cissy: Hey, get your hands off me!

Security: Ma’am, please.


(Cut to Snug Harbor parking lot, a car is pulling in)


Ramon: Maybe we should have had one of those flower necklaces for him.

Dickstein: It’s called a lei. It may come to that. (Barry Cunningham gets out of his car. He approaches Dickstein and Ramon. Close-up shot of an automatic pistol on his hip, Ramon and Dickstein stop short and look at the gun) The Snug Harbor’s new owner, Mr. Cunningham, Ramon. 

Barry: (shaking Ramon's hand)  Tanto gusto, Ramon.

Ramon: Mucho gusto.

Barry: If Attorney Dickstein has been discreet, it will now surprise you to learn, Ramon, that I’m a winner of the Mega-Millions Lottery.

Ramon: Whoa. Congratulations.

Barry: I disclose this to explain that (tapping the gun on his hip) I am armed in accordance with the State Lottery Commission’s pamphlet, “The Challenge of Sudden Wealth” which urges that winners be cautious in the conduct of their business affairs.

Ramon: Sensible.

Barry: In any case, after a 20 years interlude in Azusa, I’m returned to Imperial Beach.

Dickstein: I told Ramon that you intend to keep him on.

Barry: In fact, Ramon, you won’t continue as manager. I told Attorney Dickstein that I’d be keeping you on salary.

Dickstein: Naturally, I’d assumed--

Barry: I’m going to level this place.

Ramon: I have many cousins that can help level, and my cousin, Margarita, works for the Department of Permits. (Butchie’s van pulls into the lot.)

Dickstein: Level it?

Barry: Level it. Ah, I will not be surprised, nor judge harshly, Ramon, to learn that you’ve supplemented your stipend from the court taking in guests off the Libros.

Dickstein: That guest is my responsibility, Mr. Cunningham.

Barry: A relative down on his luck?

Dickstein: I surf a little. He was a great surfer. And, yes, he was down on his luck.

Butchie: (John is having trouble with the VW's door) Pull the handle, push the door, John.

Dickstein: He did pay $200 for staying here a couple of days, which Ramon insisted on.

Ramon: Yeah, he was a spokesman for that tequila, Butchie.

Barry: Butchie.


(On the other side of his van, Butchie plops John’s ass down.)


Butchie: Sit down and stay right here.

John: I’m gonna roll me a fucking fat one.

Butchie: Full fucking quiver, right, John, huh?

John: I don’t know, Butchie, instead. Better have a good fucking health plan, you see Mitch Yost again.


(Meanwhile, back on the other side of the parking lot.)


Dickstein: Butchie Yost, he changed surfing.

Barry: Butchie Yost?


(Other side of the van.)


John: The deal with the kid’s in the works.


(Cut to Bill Jacks and Shaun still stuck in heavy traffic. There’s a loud, “Pop!”)


Bill: Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ! This is a blowout. This is a puncture of the left front tire. (Horns, horns, horns are sounding. Bill Jacks stops in traffic.)


(In the parking lot at Jenco, Cissy is being escorted to a police car by two patrolmen.)


Cissy: This is all fucked up, man. My grandson’s got a surfing contest. My husband and I are suppose to take him. Mitch Yost, the wonderful surfer from before the talkies.

Patrolman: Does that make you Butchie Yost’s mother?

Cissy: Is that a crime now, too?

Patrolman: (insistently assisting Cissy into the back seat of the car) Watch your head.

Cissy: What the fuck does it even mean?


(Back at the Snug Harbor. Mitch’s station wagon pulls in.)


Butchie: Stay out of this, John. Stay back.

John: The end is near. (Mitch is out of his car, and he and Butchie head for each other. They square off jaw-to-jaw, chest-to-chest.) 

Butchie: Right here, you ancient fuck. Now’s your shot.

Mitch: Yeah, let me give you today’s excuse for shooting up.

Butchie: Come on, bring it, you fuck! (There’s the sound of a siren approaching.)


(Back to Bill Jacks and Shaun in the truck. The siren sounds here as well.)


Bill: Nothing to be ashamed of at any age, to be afraid to change a tire in traffic. I swear, we’ll get you to your event.


(Shaun looks out the window as the police car, siren sounding, passes. It’s the car that’s transporting Cissy.)


Shaun: The pigs got Grandma.

Bill: Have I told you not to use that word? I’m gonna pull it over here. Probably completely obliterate the rim.

Shaun: This is my dad's motel.
Bill: I can't help it. Circumstances have intervened.

(The truck turns into the Snug Harbor parking lot.)

Mitch: Come on, you little shit! What are you afraid of? Right here. Now! Here's your chance, you little fucker. I oughta kick your fucking teeth in!
Butchie: Fucking bring it!
John: We are all frail vessels.
Butchie: Come on, motherfucker! (Bill Jacks and Shaun pull up in the truck.)
Bill: What's this nonsense now?

(Barry fires his gun in the air. General confusion. "Oh-oh!" Mitch and Butchie scramble for cover. "Oh, shit!")

Barry: Extraordinary!
John: Butchie's mom hurt Barry's head.
Bill: (getting out of the truck) Stay down, Shaunie.
Barry: Even as I try to close the Libros of this sordid edifice, write Finis to the story of my deflowering at 10 in Room 24...
John: Room 24 will give up its dead, and the dead shall be forgiven.
Barry: ...I find characters from another chapter of my life intruding.
Dickstein: Not completely following, Mr. Cunningham, but so certain guns are not the answer.
Barry: Does your grotesque spawn still wield the old broom handle, Mitch? Brain the occasional 12 year old shell collector?
Mitch: What the fuck are you talking about?
Ramon: Maybe he and Butchie have some history on the beach.
Barry: And I received the [stroke]...
John: Where Ramon is from they would build Mitch a shrine.
Barry: ...from the slack-jawed mutant, Butchie-on-the-Beach, lo, many years ago.
Butchie: I remember him. We were in sixth grade together. It's Barry the Fairy.
Barry: And were you not the surfer, Mitch, who paddled in to see what happened, then turned and paddled back out?
Butchie: I was trying to hit you with the broom part, Barry. No one meant to hit you with the handle.
Barry: Oh. Why, I wonder if knowing that mightn't have kept me from contracting epilepsy in the aftermath.
Butchie: The broom part fell off.
Barry: The broom part fell off, Ramon. Don't we find so often our bodies are theaters of our resentments? Certainly...since those childhood afternoons [with {dear/queer} Mr. Rollins]
John: One good blowjob rocked the Jew lawyer's world.
Barry: Room 24...mine has hosted vaudevilles of degradation. (Barry sticks the barrel of his gun in his mouth.)
Dickstein: No, no!
Butchie: Hey, Barry, Barry, Barry! (Bill Jacks sneaks up behind Barry and yanks the gun away from Barry.)
Bill: What's the matter with you? And you two, carrying on with your wife and your mother in custody?
Butchie: My mother? In custody?
John: (Spotting Shaun) Shaun will soon be gone.
Bill: Get this fruit out of the sun.
Shaun: (To John as John approaches him) I'm Shaun.
John: I'm John.
Shaun: How's it going? (Shaun and John start doing that foot tracing thing on the slate walkway. John spins around. Shaun does the same in turn. They both smile.)


(Cut to the Police Station. Mitch, Butchie, Shaun, John, Bill Jacks and Dickstein are all there…waiting in the lobby.)


Bill: It’s disorderly conduct, for God’s sake.

Cop1: She’s gotta be run for warrants.

Bill: It’s a citation and release.

Cop1: (aside, to his colleague) Expedite the warrant search. Let’s get this senile bastard out of here.

Bill: What is that little back and forth?

Cop2: I’m behind the desk how, Bill. And I’m asking you to sit down.

Bill: How about I don’t sit down? How about I make your circulars current? (pointing at wanted posters and whatnot on the bulletin board) How about that? Because they’re a disgrace. Here’s one. Hernandez--robbery and car theft. I swear to God the guy changed my oil two days ago.


(Mitch and Dickstein, standing side by side.)


Dickstein: It’s an honor to be in the company of a surfing legend.

Mitch: Thank you.

Dickstein: We lost you too soon to your knee.

Mitch: I get around all right.

Dickstein: And your son also, to his many difficulties.

Mitch: Well, you see him breathing there.

Dickstein: Competitively, I meant, we've lost him.

Mitch: Does that about get it all said?

Dickstein: Except for my thanks for the pleasure you gave me as a spectator.

Mitch: You’re welcome.


(Butchie and Shaun, sitting on the floor, backs against the wall.)


Butchie: So, I guess you missed your event.

Shaun: Are you proud of me? (First Butchie stands, then Shaun.)

Butchie: No, I said I didn’t want to go, Shaunie.

Shaun: ‘Cause it’s so lame?

Butchie: Which isn’t saying you should be missing shit.

Shaun: Anyways… (Shaun walks over to John.)

Shaun: How’s it going? (John and Shaun start doing the foot tracing thing again.)

Dickstein: I’ll just say one more thing. (not paying attention as Mitch walks away) Trestles, 1979. To see you surf was all I wanted for my bar mitzvah.

Bill: You’re a fifth fucking wheel around here, Dickstein.

Dickstein: You feel they’d want me to make a statement?

Bill: I’ll make a statement if need be. I’m the department retiree. And I have the weapon--

Dickstein: Please don’t speak of any weapon.

Bill: Your assignment is to keep my truck from being disassembled by marauding lowlifes and to make sure that that fruit gets home.

Dickstein: He has a car of his own.

Bill: Hybrid, which the marauders won’t bother, and if the fruit’s allowed at the wheel of, is liable to drive off a bridge. For God’s sake, Dickstein, only one hand can be at the helm.

Dickstein: Please tell everyone I left.

Bill: (as Dickstein exits) Like anybody gives a fuck.


(Mitch and Butchie are against the wall.)


Mitch: If I ask, is Shaunie gonna tell me that Bill was taking me to Huntington?

Butchie: Well, he’s not much of a liar.

Mitch: Well, I guess that’s between me and your mother.


(Cut to Cissy’s jail cell.)


Cissy: (to her cellmate) I went bullshit at Jenco. (Her cellmate gets up. Speaking Spanish, she puts something in Cissy’s hand.) 

Cissy: I don’t speak Spanish, honey.


(Cop2 comes to release Cissy from her cell. As Cissy takes her leave, she looks back at her cellmate and tightens her grip on whatever it is that’s in her hand.)


(Back out in the lobby. Shaun and John are doing “spin moves” with Bill Jacks, Mitch and Butchie looking on.)


Butchie: He must read some old fucking magazines. He signed up to be my student and told me you should get back in the game.

Mitch: Yeah, he told me the same thing at the beach this morning.

Butchie: He’s harmless…and fucking rich.


(Mitch nods to Butchie, and they edge off to a vacant room off the lobby. Bill Jacks notices and follows. Ears wide open, he takes up a position by the open door of the room.)


Mitch: I just found out I’m pretty sick. That’s why I was short-fused when you fucking called.

Butchie: I got beat on some dope. I’m dopesick, Dad, is what I’m trying to say. Gonna be. I mean, that’s why I was cranky on the phone.

Mitch: Am I up in the air right now?

Butchie: What do you mean?

Mitch: Are my feet off the ground?

Butchie: No.

Mitch: You don’t even fucking look?

Butchie: What do I have to look for, Dad? You’re not off the fucking ground.

Mitch: That’s the tumor’s big symptom--

Butchie: Feeling like they’re up in the air? So, it’s in your brain. Jesus Christ, I’m sorry. When did they do the tests?

Mitch: What difference does it make?

Butchie: Does Mom know?

Mitch: Oh, yeah. I had to tell her this morning.

Butchie: Fuck, I…I’m sorry I broke your balls. That’s the last fucking thing you needed. (Mitch levitates a few inches off the floor.) 

Butchie: You’re up.

Mitch: It feels like I am.

Butchie: You are. You’re off the ground, Dad. You’re like 2 ½ inches in the fucking air.

Mitch: Feels like more. (Mitch slowly drops back down until his feet are on the floor again.)

Butchie: Well, if that’s a tumor, where do I sign up?


(Bill Jacks abandons his eavesdropping post, and wanders over to Shaun and John. Shortly thereafter, Mitch and Butchie come back out into the lobby.)


Bill: (to John) What’s your name?

John: My name is John.

Shaun: He’s my friend.

John: I’m his friend.

Bill: Well, friend of Shaun, I got my eye on you.

John: I got my eye on you.

Bill: No, I got my eye on you!

John: No, I got my eye on you! (Bill looks at Shaun. Shaun shrugs. Cissy is being led out by Cop2.)

Cop2: Ho... ho—(he rushes to open an office gate)

Cissy: I’ll watch my own head. (to Mitch who’s approaching her) Are you preferring charges, too?

Mitch: We gotta get wet.


(Cut to Barry Cunningham’s large, empty beach condo. Spectacular ocean view through a veritable wall of picture windows. Barry is sitting cross-legged on the floor in the middle of the room. There’s an open bottle of wine at his side. A teddy bear too.)


Dickstein: Do you have another gun, Mr. Cunningham?

Barry: I did not buy a backup, against the advice of Pete’s Pistol Hut.

Dickstein: Do you feel at the moment you may otherwise be a danger to yourself?

Barry: No, I do not feel at this moment that I’m otherwise a danger to myself.

Dickstein: Do you surf?

Barry: (smiling wryly) I do not surf.

Dickstein: You should try it sometime. It’s fun. Well, I hope I’ll see you tomorrow.


(The beach, near sunset. Butchie and John, preparing to surf, are off at a distance from Mitch, Cissy and Shaun.)


Butchie: I gotta ask you, John. We’re gonna be friends no matter what, okay? Could you have fibbed as far as your skill level?

John: I could have fibbed.

Butchie: For example, John, is it possible that you’ve never been on a board?

John: It’s possible, Butchie.

Butchie: We cannot fold on dry land right now, okay? So, when we’re outside, you’re gonna get a leg cramp, then we’re gonna turn around and paddle back in. How does that sound to you, John?

John: That sounds, Butchie.

Butchie: Jesus Christ. Jesus Fucking Christ.


(Back down the beach a ways to Mitch, Cissy and Shaun.)


Shaun: Can I go out with Dad and John now?

Mitch: Yeah, go ahead. (Shaun goes to join John and Butchie.)

John: Oh, my fucking leg.

Butchie: You gotta grab your leg, John. You gotta sell it.

Shaun: (arriving) Can you help me out, Dad?

Butchie: (adjusting Shaun’s wetsuit) Yeah. You ready, Shaunie?

Shaun: You ready, John?

Butchie: Hell yeah, John’s ready!

John: Hell yeah, I’m ready, Shaun!

Butchie: All right, student, do as the teacher does. One step fucking behind me. (John holds out his hand.)No, no, no. No hands, John. Come on. Grab your board. (John starts backing down to the water, imitating Butchie‘s backward trek.)No, no, no. (As Butchie turns, John turns to face the water.) Johnny, there you go.


(Back down the beach.)


Cissy: Just when you think he’s run out of dufuses.

Mitch: So, Bill says he can’t remember when he got that flat if he was taking Shaun to that surf contest.

Cissy: He was. I asked him to.

Mitch: After I forbade it.

Cissy: Maybe this is the time to admit that we don’t have the perfect marriage.

Mitch: (chuckling) Maybe it’s time to say I don’t have a brain tumor.

Cissy: What do you got?

Mitch: Surfer’s ear, like you thought.


(Shaun, John, and Butchie, paddling out.)


Butchie: You’d never mistake him for a beginner, would you?

Shaun: Nuh-uh.

Butchie: You’re not paddling like a monkey on crack over there, John.

John: I’m not a monkey on crack.


(On the beach.)


Mitch: (to Bill Jacks who’s found the beach) You all right there, Bill?

Bill: (holding an imaginary phone to his ear) Waiting to hear from Dickstein. Did he get my truck towed? Did he transport that suicidal fruit? Waiting to find out. (to self) May as well be speaking Russian.


(Barry’s condo. Barry, still sitting on the floor, is looking out on the ocean.)


Barry: Do you surf, Teddy? (Barry manipulates the teddy bear, first moving the arms in paddling motions, then standing the bear up and moving it from side to side as if it’s surfing. Then, abruptly, he flips the teddy bear over.) Teddy, you wiped out.



(Back on the water.)


John: (holding his thigh) Oh, my fucking leg.

Butchie: Just rest a minute, John. It’ll pass.

John: I gotta sell it.

Butchie: Go ahead, Shaun. Take one in while John’s cramp passes.


(Shaun paddles for a wave, finds his footing, then rides the wave spectacularly in.)


Cissy: (shouting from the shore) Shaunie Yost!!!


(Back on the water.)


Butchie: I just need to catch my breath. We’ll paddle back in in a second. (John starts paddling to catch a wave.) No, no, no. Whoa, whoa! Wait, wait! John, John! (John rides the wave in with nearly the skill, the style and the flair just exhibited by Shaun.) Somebody call an ambulance! Johnny Monad just put that wave in the ICU!


(On the beach.)


Mitch: I don’t think I’m gonna do it.

Cissy: Surf, you mean? Before us fallen earthlings?

John: (paddling presciently back out, looking at Cissy on the beach) Tomorrow’s another day.

Cissy: Tomorrow’s another day.


(Bill Jacks watching John on the water.)


Bill: (to himself) This kid’s smart-aleck friend gets a stem-to-stern checkout tomorrow. I can guarantee you that much. (mimicking) “I got my eye on you.” (pointing out at John on the water) Well, I got my eye on you, pal. Believe you me.

John: (surfing in and looking at Bill) I got my eye on you, Bill!


(Butchie catches a wave. Cissy is smiling on the beach. Shaun, John and Butchie…surfing! Something like joy.)


(The attractive young blonde woman who was on the pier earlier, is lurking nearby again. She punches a text message into her phone, then sends it. She moves a bit closer to the beach, peers out and sees, same as earlier, what she’s looking for: Shaun Yost, riding a wave. She smiles. Linc Stark -- chances are at Huntington -- responds to his ringing phone. He finds a text message. It reads: “Shaun Yost is in Imperial Beach.”)





(Episode 2)


Transcription By Groggy (assisted by Coco)


Watch the trailer


(Imperial Beach. Morning. Cass, the attractive young blonde woman, is lurking again. Today, however, Shaun isn’t the one she‘s spying. Today it’s Mitch. From the beach, Cass watches him perform his morning ritual. She watches him surf. She watches him walk the board from back to front, then front to back as the surf roils about his feet. This morning though, Mitch is not alone on the water. Kai is out there too. Mitch comes out of the water.)


Kai: (calling from her board as she rides one in) Hey, old man! (wading through the backwash of the surf near the beach) I didn’t realize I was this far down. I kept catching those really long rights.

Mitch: Keep doing that, and you’ll end up in Rosarita.

Kai: Hey, I didn’t mean to intrude.

Mitch: It’s a long walk back. My car is here if you want a ride. (Mitch and Kai start walking toward his wagon. Cass is waiting to intercept them.) You should watch your feet. I stepped on a syringe here yesterday.

Kai: Welcome to the sloughs. Who’s that chick? Is she a fan of yours?

Mitch: All my fans are in retirement homes.

Cass: (approaching) Mitch Yost, you probably don’t remember me, but I met you once. Pipe Masters. I was 15. And I got to tell you, I had a big crush. My name is Cass.

Kai: (to herself) Give me a fucking break.

Mitch: I didn’t notice, huh?

Cass: I was still knock-kneed with braces.

Mitch: Well, everything changes.

Cass: Yeah, I make movies now.

Kai: Uh, thanks anyway, Pop. I’m gonna walk and get some air.

Mitch: All right, Kai.

Kai: Nice car, chick.

Mitch: (checking out Cass’s Porsche) These are hard to find.

Cass: I like vintage, what can I say? So, I’m doing this film called “Legends.” (handing Mitch her card) I would love to shoot you for it. I know this really isn’t your kind of thing. But you know my name…and you’ve got my number. Just think about it.

Mitch: Okay. (Cass gets in her Porsche and drives away. Mitch goes to the back of his vintage wagon. He drops his mat on the ground, then pours his daily gallon of water over his head.)


(Cut to Bill Jacks at home. He’s on the phone.)


Bill: (answering question) Bill Jacks. Why’d I hang up? I got tired of being held on hold. Good thing I’m not being robbed here. I’m looking into a nut-job…ascertain if he’s wanted or missing. I got his prints here. I want them lifted. Why am I calling ahead? Well, Anderson, that’s to avoid standing there like a mope with my hat in my hand someplace I worked 16 years while my request is walked through channels. What are the prints on? You ask me that, I think maybe you haven’t tried the water fountain this morning. Because, being the nut-job drank from the station house fountain yesterday, Anderson, his prints are on the fucking handle which I am in the fucking possession of. Hey, you know what? Fuck you, where you gonna drink? Try the fucking toilet! And while you’re in there, go fuck yourself! But what you really ought to be doing is updating the goddamn bulletin board! (Bill Jacks slams the phone down!) Preparation for the celebration of the millennium was a goddamn disgrace. (lowering himself into a chair) 16 fucking years.


(Cut to Butchie’s room at the Snug Harbor. Butchie’s in bed, and John is on a mattress on the floor. Butchie is just waking up, John appears to already be awake.)


Butchie: How did you sleep?

John: How did you sleep?

Butchie: I slept, you know. You know, (getting up and heading for the bathroom) I do know that I’m not feeling dopesick right now. (John follows Butchie into the bathroom.) What are you doing? You gotta take a horrendous dump too? ‘Cause I gotta take a horrendous dump, pal.

John: I gotta take a horrendous dump.

Butchie: Fuck. Firsties on the can. I got the face. (Butchie shakes a coin in a cup and spills it to decide who dumps first. [NOTE: not entirely clear how Butchie determined who got to dump first]) Damn! But make it quick. All right? (helping John) Drop your pants, ass on that seat, baby, and push. I gots to go. (exiting, then pacing outside the bathroom) Come on. (Sitting on the crapper with the door wide open, John stares cluelessly up at Butchie.) Oh, shit. Are you shy about doing your business, John?

John: I’m shy about doing my business.

Butchie: Shit, I haven’t seen you dump or take a leak since you got here. Do you want me to step outside?

John: I don’t know, Butchie, instead.

Butchie: Hey, we all have our quirks and wrinkles, pal. It is all good. (Butchie steps outside.)


(Cut to the Yost home. Shaun is sitting at a table looking at his laptop screen.)


Shaun: Jo Jo got through his heat.

Cissy: (sighs) Shaunie.

Shaun: Anyways… (We see Linc lurking outside the kitchen door, Cissy finally spots him, Cissy moves toward him.)

Linc: (calling through the door) Shaunie Yost! I got your demo. Man, it rocks. (to Cissy) It’s about Shaun and the event at Huntington. Give me two minutes to tell you what I can do.

Cissy: Well, hurry up. (opening the door) Mitch will be home any minute.


(Cut to the Snug Harbor. Butchie is waiting anxiously outside Room F. He sees Ramon crossing the Snug’s parking lot with a couple of bags of groceries.)


Butchie: What’s shaking, Ramon?

Ramon: Dickstein said the new owner’s coming over.

Butchie: Strapped like he was yesterday?

Ramon: Should be relevant to you, since you’re supposed to be gone now.


(Butchie goes back inside.)


Butchie: You dumped out yet, John?

John: I’m dumped out.

Butchie: Stand up and pull your pants up. This kid’s turn on the crapper. (John pulls his pants up as he stands.) There you go. Come on. (urging John out of the bathroom as John fumbles with his zipper) Do that outside. I gotta go. (pulling out a chair for John) Here. Park it right here, my man. Good. Well done. (Back in the bathroom, Butchie drops his pants and takes a seat.) A-plus on the fume control, pal. Radio silence until further notification! (grunting as his fist clenches) This is a dump that a grown man can be proud of!


(Cut to the Yost home. Cissy, Linc and Shaun sit around a table. Mitch enters.)


Mitch: What the hell are you doing here?

Cissy: You need to hear him, Mitch.

Linc: Shaun is back in at Huntington.

Mitch: You muscled him in? Yeah, that’s the way it goes, Shaunie. You miss your heat…as long as you can hear the money talk, you got no problem. You just sign up with the man, get the sponsor’s push, win yourself a Hummer.

Cissy: Just this once, Mitch, think what Shaun wants.

Linc: (to Shaun) You know, I was a grom just like you once, always in the water. Totally stoked 24/7. I felt like I was tapping into something bigger. And I’ll tell you, a lot of people can paddle out there and get that rush, but to be able to give them a taste of it just by watching, no, that’s something different. And I never had that. Not like you…and your dad…and your grandpa. But I could see that people would pay to see those who could do it. And I made some money. And I made some mistakes. Your dad, Butchie, was one of them. I was young, and he was changing the sport. All I could see was that him being a bad boy was good for business. I thought the image was the thing. What I see now, what it’s taken me years to see, is the thing itself--that’s the thing. And I don’t have to show them any more than that.

Mitch: To get them to buy the thing that you want to sell them.

Linc: Well, what if I’m selling them the thing for itself?

Cissy: I think you’re a fucking saint.

Linc: Well, I got all the money I need, Cissy.

Mitch: Yeah, well, that makes it a little easier.

Linc: It’s the way some of us need it. Does that rule me off the team?

Shaun: I’d like to compete. I like it.

Linc: If you feel me going off with Shaun, just tell me. I would be grateful to hear it.

Mitch: (mulling, mulling, mulling) No image.

Linc: Just him…and some really great waves.

Mitch: (To Shaun) So, Huntington’s a crossed-up swell. What do you think? You want to try a new stick?

Shaun: I might try it. (Cissy comes over and hugs Shaun.)


(Cut to John and Butchie, walking out on the pier.)


Butchie: A day like this, John, if you can get the dealer’s ass out of bed, the pier’s a nice place to cop a fix.

John: Let’s get the dealer’s ass out of bed, Butchie.

Butchie: We’re not here to score, my brother, although I can’t say why I’m not getting dopesick.


(John and Butchie happen upon Vietnam Joe, who‘s fishing off the pier.)


Vietnam Joe: Found your man, eh, frat boy?

John: Comfy-cozy, sweet pea.

Butchie: How didn’t I figure you two know each other?

Vietnam Joe: We don’t. I drove him over to your place yesterday. I never got high overseas like I needed to get after that ride.

Butchie: (calling to John as he begins to wander down the pier) Did you come in through the sloughs, John? And don’t go over the railing.

John: I came in through the sloughs, and I won’t go over the railing, Butchie.

Butchie: Is that where you picked him up?

Vietnam Joe: You think he may be a Mexican?

Butchie: I’m trying to get a line on him, Joe.

Vietnam Joe: Why do you think I needed to fire up that fatty?


(John, looking out on the water through an observation telescope, seems to be hearing Butchie’s whispering voice, as if John can “hear” what Butchie is thinking: “My old man levitated. I’m not feeling sick. John, what the hell is going on? John, you can be honest with me, man, tell me what’s going on. John, tell me what the fuck’s going on!” [NOTE: subject to interpretation])


Butchie: (from behind) What are you looking at out there, John? What do you see?

John: What do you want, Butchie?

Butchie: Come on, pal, we’ll figure it all out. (as John and Butchie pass Vietnam Joe on their way off the pier) Joe, smoke another fatty, baby.


(Cut to Ramon and Dickstein in the Snug Harbor office.)


Ramon: So, he said to meet here in the office?

Dickstein: Specifically, inside the office. Seemed in good spirits when he called.

Ramon: Yesterday too until he pulled out his gat. (Barry enters the office, a couple bags in his hands.)

Barry: Buenos dias, Ramon.

Ramon: Buenos dias.

Barry: And a hearty shalom, Attorney Dickstein. (lifting the bags in his hands to draw attention to them) Hot from the Panaderia. Empanadas, churros, coffee.

Dickstein: Oh, thank you.

Barry: (to Ramon) I see you drink tea.

Ramon: Si, "anti-dioxin".

Barry: Also, I bear news that the motel will not be leveled.

Ramon: Is that so?

Barry: It is so, Ramon. I had a vision, gentlemen.

Ramon: Is that how you got the number for the jackpot?

Barry: In fact, Ramon, yes. I often get visions after my seizures. Eventful days like yesterday do tend to bring them on. Teddy and I had quite the siege.

Ramon: The next drawing is on Tuesday. I looked it up.

Barry: No, no numbers in last night’s vision, Ramon. I am called, among other things, to learn to surf.

Dickstein: I have the perfect board for you to learn on.

Ramon: Ain’t you glad now you didn’t blow your brains out yesterday?

(Freddy, Butchie’s dealer, appears in the office doorway.)

Dickstein: Motel is closed. Change of ownership.

Freddy: Butchie…Yost.

Ramon: He went out, Butchie. He’s in number F. You could leave it on the door if you want to leave a message.

Freddy: I’ll give it to him when he shows up.

Barry: (pulling a pastry phallus out of the one of the bags) Oh, pastry while you wait? (Freddy leaves.) Why raise a building for what its walls have seen? Why not imagine its shuttered saloon as some homier place of entertainment? Renovate the guest rooms, upgrade, liberate them. Why not Room 24? (Barry goes over to the pegboard on which room keys hang and liberates a key.) Excuse me. (Barry leaves the office.)

Ramon: It’s his joint. (looking out at Freddy, hanging by his car in the parking lot) He looks like the Bowser guy from Sha-Na-Na.


(Inside Room 24. Complete darkness. The sound of the door unlocking.)


Barry: (whispering outside) It’s okay. (with the door slowly opening) It’s okay. It’s okay. (With the door wide open, Barry looks in. He gasps!) No, no, no, no. (He flees.)


(Cut to Bill Jacks at home. He’s in his living room Birds squawk. There’s a knocking at the door.)


Bill: Yeah.

Shaun: (from outside) It’s Shaun, Bill.

Bill: Hey, Shaun, come on in. Give me a hand here. I’m just about to clean up these cages.

Shaun: Guess what?

Bill: You found a dinosaur egg.

Shaun: I’m back in the contest.

Bill: Is that so?

Shaun: That contest at Huntington I missed yesterday. This guy is getting me back in. My heat’s in two hours.

Bill: Jesus, that doesn’t leave us much--

Shaun: My gramma and grampa are taking me.

Bill: Is that so?

Shaun: This guy talked to them. We left Dad a message. Maybe he’ll come too.

Bill: Good, fine.

Shaun: You want to go up there with us? My gram and gramps are right outside.

Bill: Right outside? Jesus, Shaun, no. I can’t. (escorting Shaun to and out the door) This is a family outing. This is…this is a family thing. I can’t go. Now, you go ahead.

Cissy: (in the wagon) Bill’s not coming.

Mitch: Well, there’s that.

Bill: (calling out from the doorway to Mitch and Cissy) Thanks, anyway. I’ll cheer him on from down here.

Cissy: That’s all right, Bill, we understand.

Bill: I’ve gotta get after the accumulation. They’re crap machines. My birds, they’re crap machines.

Mitch: Ahh…

Bill: You do good, Shaunie. Drive safe. (Shaun gets in the wagon, Mitch starts it up, and the wagon pulls away. Bill goes back in the house. He stands in the middle of the living room.)

Good for them. Maybe Shaun’s ne’er-do-well father and his jerkoff sidekick will go up there too. Wouldn’t that would be nice.


(Cut to Cass in her parked Porsche. She’s talking on the phone to Linc, who‘s parked on the opposite side of the street in his SUV.)


Linc: She’s like the kid’s second mother. I can’t believe she saw you hit on Mitch this morning.

Cass: You know, Linc, I actually do make films.

Linc: That’s the trick. That’s what you’re supposed to make her think you’re here for.

Cass: Arguably, it is what I’m doing here.

Linc: Is it…arguably?

Cass: I’ll see you at Huntington.

Linc: Yeah, you’ll see me, but you won’t fucking talk to me.

Cass: Yeah, and for Christmas I was thinking I could either run you over in the street or enroll you in a Tony Robbins seminar.


(Cut to the surf shop. Kai is leaving Butchie a message on his voice mail.)


Kai: Butchie, hey. I guess you and young Einstein are out. Anyway, so Cissy called and she must have spiked Mitch’s wheat germ. He’s letting Shaun surf in the contest at Huntington. I bet Shaun would like it if you went up there. (The bell on the surf shop door rings. Cass enters the otherwise customer-bereft shop.) I’m not going. I’m hip deep in customers here. (harshly whispering into the phone) Huntington, shit-for-brains. (turning her attention to Cass) Did you get Mitch in your Porsche? You show him how the gear box worked?

Cass: I make movies. I want to make one about Mitch. It’s obvious that he respects you a lot, although it’s not as obvious as you and I getting off on the wrong foot this morning.

Kai: No sale, chick. Mitch’s wife just called--Cissy. Shaun’s in an event at Huntington. First time Mitch ever let him enter.

Cass: Well, maybe I’ll go.

Kai: Yeah, maybe I’ll go too. (As Cass is leaving) You know, that family’s got enough of their own problems, but can’t we all still do our little parts to make them worse?


(Cut to Mitch, Cissy and Shaun on the road in the wagon. Silence. They all though seem somehow reflective and positive about the trip. Subtle smiles of one sort or another inform each of their faces.)


(Cut to Bill Jacks at home.)


Bill: I’ll tell you something, and I’m not a frightened person by nature--but I’m afraid here suddenly. I’m feeling a real…genuine frightened feeling . Something’s behind me or whatever the hell might be going on. I’m afraid here to even turn around and look. Isn’t that something, Zip? Brother, is that you, Lois? Is that you, Honey? I wish she’d come to me. She used to come to me in dreams.


(Cut to the office at the Snug Harbor.)


Barry: The motel is haunted. At least Room 24 is haunted.

Dickstein: You had mentioned you had an unpleasant experience there.

Barry: It was all one in my mind. Time flies when you’re having fun. Mega-millions are not the broom to sweep Room 24 clean. Must I say for me? Isn’t “for me” understood?

Ramon: You’re getting a little hard to follow.

Barry: Not for Gilbert Rollins. He can do it dead.

Dickstein: Well, you’re with us now.

Ramon: You don’t have to go in that room no more.

Dickstein: Fuck Room 24. (Barry rises from his chair, comes over and hugs Ramon)

Barry: Thank you. Thank you.

Ramon: (Carefully pushing Barry back) No, it’s okay. It’s okay.

Barry: I woke up this morning happy. I mistook that freedom for power.

Ramon: Ghost showed you what was what.

Barry: Yes. Yes, Ramon. Our visions are powerless against our pasts. Happiness is helpless in passing. (Barry looks heavenward, then clasps his hands together and bows his head in prayer. A little uncomfortably, Ramon and Dickstein bow their heads as well.) Please, God, help me live. I forgive Gilbert Rollins. I forgive Butchie Yost. Thank you for my friends.

Dickstein: Amen.

Ramon: (making the sign of the cross) Amen.

Barry: Amen.


(Cut to Butchie and John in a liquor store. Marco, the stone-faced man behind the counter, stands there with his arms folded across his chest. John eyeballs three nearly life-sized cardboard cut-outs of Budweiser Bikini Babes. Imitating their phony similes, John smiles back at them with a smile every bit as fake as theirs.)


Butchie: You don’t think that’s going through, Marco, because he’s hanging with Butchie. And if he’s hanging with Butchie, he ain’t juiced. He’s juiced. I’m hanging with a man of means. This is my brother from another mother--from the side of the family with some cheese! And if that doesn’t go through, (slapping his pocket) this will. And that ain’t my cock. You’re in for a big surprise, Marco. (The credit card machine hums, then starts sputtering its approval. Butchie’s arms shoot up in the air. He spins around and points at the cardboard cuties.) That’s right, that’s right, ladies! The line forms to the left to blow me!

John: The line forms to Butchie’s left.

Butchie: (focusing his attention back on Marco) Okay, just to see how much fuel we have in this rocket, I will take half the--no, I will take the whole row of  “Chival Regis.”


(Cut to Mitch, Cissy and Shaun in the wagon.)


Shaun: Could we try my dad again?

Cissy: Sure we can.

Shaun: Can I call him?

Mitch: Then why don’t we get out of the car and bang our heads on that lamppost until the light changes?


(Cut to John and Butchie walking on the sidewalk. John’s carrying a bag containing, presumably, the Chivas in one arm, and one of the cardboard cuties under the other. Butchie has one of the cut-outs under each arm.)


Butchie: Do not fall in love with these cardboard models, John. Papercuts to the penis--very painful. (blocking John’s way as he starts to step into the busy street) Wait ’til the--no, no, no, no. Jesus, John! What the fuck! Okay, follow my lead. (crossing the street) I say this from the bottom of my heart, brother, and with all the love, but I’m picking up you don’t do too well with traffic, do you?

John: I don’t do too well with traffic.

Butchie: Which leads me to believe…(crossing again) come on, come on, come on…quick, follow me…leads me to believe that you’re not from around here.

John: I’m not from around here, Butchie.

Butchie: Oh, yeah, no? Or any other metropolis for that matter. I’m feeling kind of, you know, small town, not a farm town, but a small town, a small town like, you know, I’m feeling a little Cincinnati.

John: I am from Cincinnati.

Butchie: Get the fuck out!

John: You get the fuck out!

Butchie: Get the fuck out! The housing brain unit’s open 24 hours, baby.


(Cut to Linc on the beach at Huntington. He’s talking to Dolan, the father of one of the other surfers that he sponsors.)


Dolan: This is bullshit. My kid earned his spot in this round. What is this?

Linc: What this is, Mr. Dolan, is your son’s main sponsor, who is about to send him and you on a mag trip to Sumatra, is saying Tommy had to take one for the team.

Dolan: Yeah, okay, team is one thing. But Butchie Yost’s kid is something else.

Linc: You’re not gonna let me be polite? You do not get a vote about Shaunie Yost. You get to vote on whether or not you pass on Sumatra.


(Cut to the surfer’s tent. Surfers are preparing for the competition: waxing their boards, doing stretching exercises, donning their jerseys, relaxing or getting pumped with their iPods and earbuds. There’s a lot of subtle and not-so-subtle posing and posturing going on. Giggling groupies peek in. As inconspicuously as possible, Shaun drinks it all in. Surfing prodigy on not, he’s new to all this. A surfer leaving the tent trips or is tripped. Groaning, he rolls over in the sand. He holds his foot. There’s about a three inch gash running along the inner side of his instep. He glares.)


(Cut to the beach. A horn sounds. The surfers race for the water. “That’s the horn for the Junior Finals,” the P.A. announcer says. “Remember, it’s 30 minutes for each surfer. The three highest scoring waves count.” The surfers hit the water and paddle out. The competition‘s on! “First to surf is yellow. Nice turn over the top.” Shaun gets in the game. “That’s Shaun Yost picking one up on the outside.” Several riders go for the same wave. “Looks like a party wave out there.” Two surfers almost collide. “Oh, yeah, that could be interference on red.” Shaun picks another wave. It’s a good one with a curling peak. Shaun crouches low and eases back into the pipe. He virtually disappears from sight as, riding the wave out spectacularly, he sends the wave to the ICU.)


(On to the beach.)


Kai: Whoooo! Yeah, Shaunie!


(Further down the beach.)


Linc: (to Dolan) Your kid sticks one like that, you come back and piss in my ear. (Dolan slinks away.)


(Up on the pier.)


Cissy: He’s got it won. Right? Hands down.

Mitch: Unless they’re completely fucking blind.



(Cut to the Snug Harbor office. John and Butchie approach the motel, their Chivas and cardboard cuties in tow.)


Ramon: (looking out on the parking lot at Butchie and the waiting Freddy) Here we go.

Butchie: (singing) I wake up I could throw one down tonight. Get off your girl, John Monad.”

Freddy: (approaching Butchie) What the fuck!

Butchie: Whoa, whoa. Wait here, John. Wait here. Hey, Freddy, did I get teleported to fucking Hawaii or-- (Freddy punches Butchie in the mouth, sending Butchie to the ground.)

(sputtering) Motherfucker.

Freddy: What’s that you say, Butchie? Huh? You’re gonna drown me in a cop tsunami? Or whatever faggot threat you left on my machine.

Butchie: That call was a mistake.

Freddy: No that call was a fucking favor to me. It reminded me of what a fuckup you turned into, instead of who I watched surf Rocky Point.

Butchie: I was pissed off you beat me on the fucking buy.

Freddy: You got no business buying a lid of smack.

Butchie: I got a fucking injury settlement. I was looking to make a move. It’s not like I got many left.

Freddy: Fuck your sad story, Butchie. You’d have OD-ed and died before you sold your third bag. (noticing John) What are you looking at, big eyes? You want some of that?

John: I want some.

Freddy: Yeah? (Freddy comes forward and slaps John hard. John’s head turns with the blow, but there otherwise seems to be little effect. Freddy takes a couple steps back and looks curiously at John.)

Butchie: Freddy, he ain’t all there.

Freddy: Yeah, well, now he’s there even less.

Butchie: (getting off the ground) Don’t fucking hit him anymore. (The ground starts rumbling. A car alarm goes off.) An earthquake, John. It happens all the time.

John: What do you want, Butchie Yost?

Dickstein: (bracing himself in the office doorway where he’s been watching the show outside) You’ll remember that to expedite the closing you had me waive all inspections.

Barry: I absolve you if the walls tumble down.


(Cut to Bill Jacks at home.)


Bill: (whispering) Oh, boy. Oh, what the hell is going on now? (He goes to the phone and dials.) Anderson, hey, Bill Jacks. Hey, did you guys feel a temblor over there just now? No, because I felt like I just felt a temblor. Alright, Anderson.


(Cut to the beach at Huntington. The earth is flexing here as well. Linc, looking at Cass who is stationed behind her camera, mockingly assumes a surfer’s stance in response to what seems to be but a minor seismic shift. Shaun, still out on the water, grabs a wave.)


Kai: (calling out) Big fucking earthquaker, Shaunie!

Cissy: Wave of the day, and the judges are doing the boogaloo, ’cause of a little fucking earthquake.


(The wave Shaun is riding surges up and knocks him from his board.)


Kai: You had it won already, bro.

Cissy: I think they missed it.

Mitch: Well, if they didn’t miss the entire heat, he’s fine.


(An emergency vehicle is racing down the beach. Kai is scanning the water for a sign of Shaun, but he’s nowhere to be seen.)


Kai: He’s not up! (moving toward the water) He’s not up! He never came up!

Mitch: Shit. (Mitch and Cissy begin sprinting down the pier. Shaun still isn’t up. Finally we see that he’s floating face down in the water.)


(Cut to Bill Jacks at home, we see the bird swinging on his perch.)


Bill: Look at you swinging, Zip. It was a temblor. (chuckling) Seems minor. Minor temblor. And the old man’s still got his marbles. (Bill sits down on the floor and turns the television on.).


(Cut to the Snug Harbor office. The phone rings. Ramon answers it.)


Ramon: We’re closed!


(In the parking lot.)


Freddy: Instead of what you want to see, see what the fuck is in front of you. It’s how you get 17 safe deposits. Fuck you surfing Rocky Point! Fuck watching you from my fucking porch!

Ramon: (Walking over from the office with a phone in his hand) Excuse me, sorry to interrupt. Phone call, for Butchie. (Butchie takes the phone from Ramon and puts it to his ear.)

Butchie: Yeah?

Mitch: You piece of shit! What’s with you’re fucking phone?

Butchie: The battery died.

Mitch: Yeah, what a shock.

Ramon: (to John and Freddy) Uh, no hurry. Whenever he’s done-- (pointing toward the office) Phone, just--

Butchie: Is that what you called to talk to me about, my fucking phone?

Mitch: Shaunie broke his neck at Huntington.

Butchie: Is he gonna be all right?

Mitch: He broke his neck! They’re airlifting him to Mercy Hospital. Of course if you gave any kind of shit, I wouldn’t have to be telling you this, cause you would’ve been here.

Butchie: What the fuck you talking about, he’s at Huntington. Nobody fucking told me dick.

Mitch: Your battery’s dead, Butchie.

Butchie: What, you couldn’t drive four fucking blocks out of your way to come down here and tell me?

Mitch: Why, Butchie, because you’ve never been anywhere for anybody? Why waste the gas?

Butchie: So what are you saying Dad? Is he gonna die?

Mitch: Go ahead out for pizza. I can leave word with the manager. <click> (Butchie throws the phone violently to the ground. It smashes to pieces.)

Freddy: What’s going on?

Butchie: Come on, John, we’re gonna to take a ride. Garage door Tijuana, Freddy, to cop. And you better not try to stop me unless you’re ready to fucking kill me. Look, my kid got hurt. He broke his neck. I can’t handle this straight.

Freddy: I’m holding. Get in the car.

Butchie: Go get the dope and bring it back to me.

Freddy: Get in the car or I’ll shoot you, him and the three guys in the fucking office.

John: What do you want, Butchie?

Butchie: I didn’t drop a dime on you, Freddy, if you’re thinking about killing me in that car.

Freddy: Go ahead, go.


(In the office, Ramon and Dickstein are watching the drama)


Dickstein: Well they seem to have worked it out

Ramon: His father said his son had an accident. Butchie.


(Cut to Freddy‘s car. Butchie‘s in the front seat with Freddy, and John is in the back seat. He‘s mimicking Freddy‘s driving, working an imaginary steering wheel.)


Freddy: They make these fucking cars for midgets. I hate coming to this fucking country. Sunset Beach, the kid you used to put on your back and paddling out, uh, for him to watch from the channel--that’s the one broke his neck, now?

Butchie: It’s the only one I know I got, Freddy.

Freddy: Some fucked up shit. I thought of that on the way to the airport this morning.

Butchie: That is some fucked-up shit.

Freddy: Then ‘til now I hadn’t thought of it fucking once. (looking in the rearview mirror) That mope in the backseat keeps changing fucking shapes. (spotting a horde of reporters outside the hospital) Who the fuck are they? I want you going in here, Butchie, and I want you to act like a fucking man. The business between us, we’ll deal with later. (They pull into the hospital parking lot)

Butchie: Well, you didn’t get me high, but you didn’t kill me either.

Freddy: Just shut the fuck up and get out. And take this shape changing mope with you. (looking in the review mirror again) I ain’t afraid of you, pal.

John: (pointing his finger) I ain’t afraid of you

Freddy: I don’t give a fuck what you are.

John: I ain’t afraid of you, pal.

Freddy: I took more acid (stuttering) than you ate cheerios for fucking breakfast…in a volcano! The fucking Hallaka-halama-vaka fucking thing.

Butchie: Haleakala, Freddy! If you moved your seat back you wouldn’t look like such a fucking monkey.

Freddy: Get out before I blow both your fucking heads off.

Butchie: Thanks for not killing me. (opening the back door for John) Come on. (dodging intrusive cameras) Motherfucking press. Come here.

Freddy: (muttering) Leave the fucking door open. Fucking seatbelt.


(Cut to Bill Jacks at home. He’s trying to snooze on the floor. A woman’s voice on the television rouses him however. “I’d doubt the connection with the minor area temblors we’ve been reporting, Bob, have had much to do with this,” the female field reporter says. “All we know at this point is that the young surfer broke his neck while competing at Huntington Beach and has been listed in grave condition at Mercy Hospital.” Bill is wide awake and sitting up now His mouth is agape.)


Bill: That could be Shaun. Who are they discussing?


(“And this is the famous surfing Yost family?” Bob, the anchorman asks the female reporter in the field.)


Bill: Where is he? What’s his condition for Christ’s sake? Oh my god! (dialing the phone) Don’t yell at me! Don’t yell at me! Don’t yell at me! Don’t yell at me! Don’t yell at me! Don’t yell at me! Don’t yell at me! Anderson! Anderson for god’s sake don’t hang up on me! Please help me find an injured friend!


(Cut to Mercy Hospital. A hallway. Kai is there. Cass is talking to a nurse. Linc arrives by way of the stairs.)


Cass: (writing on a small pad of paper) I won’t intrude on them, but if there’s anything they need--the family, errands or whatever the hospital doesn’t provide, I’m available to do that day or night. (The nurse nods. She takes the pad and leaves. Linc peruses some pictures on the wall, doing his best ignore Cass, to pretend he doesn‘t know her.)


(Cut to a waiting room. Mitch and Cissy are sitting in the room. Shaun’s doctor, Dr. Michael Smith, is seated facing them.)


Dr. Smith: Well. Okay, I have some terrible news to share with you. Shaun has suffered devastating injuries. (Cissy gasps.) The vertebrae at the base of his skull was crushed when he fell, and that left him paralyzed and unable to breathe. A machine is breathing for him now, but the time he was without oxygen, underwater and later, did catastrophic damage. Our tests show that there is no electrical activity in Shaun’s brain.

Mitch: So, you’re saying he’s brain-dead. You’re saying there’s nothing you can do.

Dr. Smith: I’m sorry, but I think that’s the case. We’ll run our test again in the morning, but I don’t expect to see a change.

Mitch: Why put him through the tests then?

Dr. Smith: We have to be absolutely certain of Shaun’s condition and prognosis before later decisions can be made.

Mitch: Yeah, but you’re absolutely certain now.

Dr. Smith: A protocol is developed in these situations.

Mitch: Your protocol’s more important than his suffering?

Dr. Smith: To take a patient off life support, possibly making his organs available for transplant, those aren’t cliffs you can re-climb. (Cissy gets up and, turning her back on the men, moves away.)

Mitch: Why don’t you leave the cliffs out of it?

Dr. Smith: I understand that you’re suffering terribly. If it’s any consolation, I assure you your grandson is not.

Mitch: When it suits your protocols, we take you at your word. When it suits your protocols before we can take you at your word, you get to crucify him with another 12 hours of tests.

Dr. Smith: Mrs. Yost, do you have anything you want to ask me?

Cissy: (struggling to speak) No, Doctor, go away.

Dr. Smith: (rising) I’ll be with Shaun. (Dr. Smith leaves.)

Cissy: You take Shaunie off that machine, Mitch, you better never get in our bed again.

Mitch: Did you hear anything that asshole said?

Cissy: He needs it to breathe. He stays on the machine. I will murder you in your sleep.

Mitch: Shaunie is brain-dead, Cissy.

Cissy: He’s breathing and I can hold him.

Mitch: Well, get a dog. He’s dead. I want him off the machines.

Cissy: You want to get back to your clubhouse, go ahead. Get out you coward! Get out and leave me alone with my grandson. You’re afraid of the hospital, not me. I got used to it, all the months I spent listening to the asshole I married whine about killing himself ‘cause his knee was gone. He couldn’t be king of the waves. Mitch Yost, the big realist. “Let’s face it, Cissy, he’s gone. Let’s just put him in the ground.”

Mitch: Well, when the time comes, why don’t you just sign whatever papers it is that they need you to sign. (Mitch leaves the room. Kai’s still in the hallway.)

Kai: Should I go in?

Mitch: I don’t know. (The elevator door opens. John and Butchie step out.)

Butchie: Did he die?

Mitch: (brushing past Butchie as he leaves) Your mother will explain it.

Butchie: (to Kai) Did he die?

Kai: No. Cissy is in there. (Butchie transfers John‘s hand to Kai‘s, as if transferring John’s care to her, then enters the waiting room.)

Kai: How’s it going?

John: Did you dump out this morning?

Kai: Uh-huh. You need to dump out? Okay. Come on. (She leads him off towards the men’s room)


(In the waiting room.)


Cissy: He was going for a little cover-up on the inside. The water sucked out.

Butchie: Was he doing good before he ate it?

Cissy: He had it won.

Butchie: Can we go see him?


(Cut to the Men’s room. John stands in the center of the room staring at the two stalls. A man comes in and enters one of the stalls. On cue, John enters the other one. He drops his pants and takes a seat.)


(Cut to the nurse’s station outside Shaun’s room. Cissy and Butchie approach Dr. Smith.)


Cissy: This is my son, Mitchell Jr., Shaun’s father.

Dr. Smith: How do you do?

Butchie: Can we go in?

Dr. Smith: Please. (Butchie and Cissy enter Shaun’s room and approach the bed slowly. A nurse is in the room reading a monitor.)

Butchie: (whispering to the nurse) Is it okay if I touch him? (The nurse nods. Butchie strokes Shaun’s hair.) I thought one day, a day with no dogfights, I’d square things, you know, surf some spots with him in Indonesia maybe. I thought we’d have time.

Cissy: They asked about donating Shaun’s organs.

Butchie: He gave his stick away that time to that one-legged kook kid at Trestles. (Cissy leaves.)

Nurse at the Monitor: I surf. You were great.


(Cut to Bill Jacks plodding up a stairwell. He pauses briefly on the landing, then continues climbing upward.In the background we hear a bird squawk)


(Cut to John in his stall, still taking his cues from his neighbor next door. The man grunts. John grunts. The man ventures a flatulence-rich offering to the porcelain gods, and John approximates the sound by blowing a rattling raspberry. The man unrolls some toilet paper, and John makes a “globledogobledo” sound, the closest, apparently, he can come imitating a toilet paper roller in a public restroom being put to use.)


(Cut to Bill Jacks still laboriously trudging up the stairs. He’s using the railings on either side of the stairwell now. He stops to catch his breath.)


(Cut to the hallway near the elevators. Kai is still around. So are Linc and Cass, backs to each other.)


Kai: (to Cass) You know, I could introduce you to him if you want, or you could just keep pretending you don’t know each other.

Linc: Hi, I’m Linc Stark.

Cass: Hi.

Linc: (aside to Cass) Get with Mitch.

Cass: (moving toward the elevator) Uh, can you hold that, please?


(Bill Jacks, finally, emerges from the stairwell. Breathing heavily and holding his jacket closed, he moves slowly down the hallway. Kai and Linc and Dr. Smith all give him puzzled looks. Bill stops again to catch his breath. His hand flutters over his chest.)


Bill: Like my heart’s beating in a cartoon.

Dr. Smith: Are you here to see Shaun?

Bill: Yes, I am. (Cissy comes out of Shaun’s room.) (to Cissy) Can I see him? (Cissy nods.)

Cissy: (to Dr. Smith) I don’t have to decide now about the organs, right? I’d still have the twelve hours to change my mind?


(Bill enters Shaun‘s room. Butchie comes to meet him. He puts his hand on Bill’s shoulder.)


Butchie: You’ve been more father to him than I was. (Butchie leaves. Bill move’s closer to Shaun’s bed. The nurse at the monitor and Bill look at each other. The nurse leaves.)


(Cut to the men’s room. John’s dump-mate exits his stall, so John exits--or attempts to exit his. John’s door hits the other guy as he’s crossing over to the sinks.)


Dump-mate: Excuse me.

John: Excuse me. (John follows the man to the sinks. He imitates every move the guy makes while washing his hands. After shaking his hands over the sink, the man leaves, giving John a wary glance before he goes. John is left, post shake, standing there with his hands still wet. He looks around, then he appears to see something above him and stares up to the ceiling.)


(Cut to Shaun’s room. Bill opens his coat a bit. Zippy flutters out and finds his familiar perch on Bill‘s finger.)


Bill: Okay, Zip. Now, don’t hold back on me, pal.


(In the hallway. John comes up to Kai.)


John: Just took a dump a grown man would be proud of.

Kai: Attaboy.

John: A-plus for fume control, Butchie.

Kai: A-plus, John.

John: (looking back over his shoulder at Linc) The end is near.


(In Shaun’s room. Bill moves Zippy closer to Shaun.)


Bill: That’s it, Zip. That’s it. (closing his eyes and touching his temple) And kiss Shaunie too, as long as we’re being stupid.


(Zippy bobs his head near Shaun’s face, then gives the boy an affectionate peck on the lips. Shaun’s eyes open!)


Bill: Jesus, Mary and Joseph!


(Zippy squawks.)



John From Cincinnati
(Episode 3)


Watch the trailer


(Open at the hospital with everyone in place from episode 2. Butchie, Cissy and Dr Smith are standing by the nurses station talking as Bill slowly exits Shaun’s room. Bill is side-stepping around the group when he speaks.)


Bill: He’s much improved, Shaun, he’s well. (Smith turns and hurries into the room) I had Zippy kiss him. Thought I’d take a shot.

(Smith is in Shaun’s room and finds him with his eyes open)

Smith: Hi Shaun. My name’s Dr Smith. You got hurt a few hours ago surfing. Um… I’m going to ask you to do a few things for me OK? If you understand me just blink once for yes and twice for no. Do you understand me?

Shaun: (one blink)

Smith: (stifles a laugh) OK!

(Outside in the hall with Cissy and Butchie)

Butchie: I’m goin’ in there.

Cissy: No, you’re not. (whispering)

Butchie: (whispering) Well if he hasn’t come out in a couple minutes I’m goin’ back in there. (pauses) Pretty quick.


(Cut to the parking lot, we see Freddy sitting alone in his car watching the hospital doors. Freddy is listening to the car radio, closed captioning refers to the music as “new-age music”)


Freddy: She’s got some voice on her, this girl. Like the girl in the Phantom of the Opera. I had tickets twice…see the show. (He looks over to see the news crews in the parking lot) Oh yeah, here’s some blood-drinkin’ vampire cocksucker on sale for half a ham sandwich. (He looks back to see Mitch exiting the hospital) Oh, god hail Christ. (Mitch is peeking around a corner and sees the reporters). Pray for yourself you don’t see this man you fuckin’ vampire reptiles, cause I will cut you into 50 fuckin’ pieces before you get your first question out. (Mitch pauses and stands out of view of the reporters)


(Cut back to Shaun in bed. Dr Smith is clearly happy about Shaun’s “recovery”)


Smith: Ahhhh, well you see perfectly fine to me Shaun. I know that tube is uncomfortable for you. I’m going to go outside and tell your family how you’re doing, then I’m going to come back in and I’ll take that out for you, OK?

Shaun: (One blink)

Smith: (No longer able to contain himself, he laughs) OK!

(Smith exits the room, briefly speaks to the nurse who goes into the room as Smith approaches the Yosts).

Smith: (voice quivering) Shaun has recovered. Once I get the tube out of his throat, I’ll come back out and we should talk. (Cissy and Butchie are stunned)

Cissy: We can’t come in now?

Smith: (Hurrying back to the room) No, not till the tube’s out, it can be uncomfortable for relatives to watch. (He goes back into the room, we see Bill peering into his jacket pocket)

Bill: (to Zippy) You’re gonna pay for that pal. (to the others) Bird shit in my pocket.

(Camera pans around the hall, we see Linc standing alone, and we see Kai and John standing against a wall. )

John: I took a dump. Zippy kissed him. Shaun’s much improved and well. Bill thought he’d give it a shot. Shit in Bill’s pocket. No-no, I got my eye on you! (Looking over at Linc) The end is near.

Linc: I know, you told me.

John: (to Kai) I’d like to bone you Kai.

Kai: You are one smooth talkin’ city dude. (They smile and laugh while Linc watches)


(Cut back to the parking lot, we see Mitch is still lurking to avoid the reporters. Freddy is watching as Cass exits the hospital and sees Mitch)


Freddy: Oh, who’s this now? (she’s approaching Mitch) Ah, shit.

Cass: (to Mitch) Do you mind?

Mitch: These reporters around the corner, I’m just working up to making a break for the parking garage.

Cass: Can I ask how your grandson’s doing?

Mitch: (pauses) He’s gonna die. And my wife doesn’t want me up there. (makes a realization and sighs) I gotta leave her the car.

Cass: I can give you a ride, if you want. I’ll bring my car around, we can go out the other way. (she pauses, then leaves. Mitch watches her walk away, then turns and follows)

Freddy: (apparently to the radio) Huh, that’s where the blind dego’s supposed to come in. What is this, a different version? Ehhhhh.


(Cut back to Dr Smith with the Yosts and Bill in the hallway)


Smith: When I examined Shaun on admission, his neck was broken. His spinal cord was severed, and there was no brain function. You grandson had passed away, by every meaningful measure, but now he has come alive, showing no sign of any of those injuries. (Everyone looks at each other, this is not sinking in yet)

Cissy: How badly damaged is his brain?

Smith: He’s fully responsive, and the monitor’s showing normal electrical activity. Everything that should move, does. (sighs) I don’t think his brain is damaged at all.

Butchie: Well how long is he going to have to stay in here?

Smith: This is a very important and delicate part of this conversation. (Butchie and Bill back away) (to Cissy) No hospital is equipped to deal with what happened to your grandson. If he stays, what’ll happen to him here is in the hospital’s interest and will be of no benefit to him.

Cissy: So you’re saying we should take him home.

Smith: As a physician, I can’t say that to you. (silence while they consider what he has said)

(Butchie is peeking into Shaun’s room to see Shaun drinking from a straw)

Butchie: What’s the word, kurd!

Shaun: Hey dad!


(Cut to Freddy in the parking lot as a car is pulling in along side his car)


Freddy: Here’s this fucking idiot. (A shadey looking guy exits the car and moves over to Freddy’s car, standing silently outside the car window. Freddy looks straight ahead)

Freddy: Are ya gonna get in the fuckin’ car?

Palaka: Well I – I didn’t know if ya saw me, cause I didn’t wanna frighten you.

Freddy: (pauses, still looking ahead) Well are ya gonna get in? (he gets in)

Palaka: How ya doin’? How’s the flight, guy?

Freddy: Gimme your hand. (he takes Palaka’s hand and smashes it hard against the dash board several times)

Palaka: (gasping, sputtering) Oh, oh that’s broken. Oh boy, oh boy, wow, wow.

Freddy: I’m half thinkin’ I’m gonna need a reason to find out what’s goin’ on in there.

Palaka: Ghhuhhh, uh-huh.

Freddy: Take you in as a injured friend.

Palaka: Uhhoh, absolutely.

Freddy: I take you in, you need attention, I’m in there on the ear about the kid.

Palaka: Wazza that? Look. (We see Bill exiting a back door of the hospital and looking suspiciously around)

Freddy: Oh shit……oh shit…..oh Christ! (We see Butchie exit with Shaun riding on his back)

(To Palaka) Get out! Scare the snakes off!

Palaka: Where’s the snakes?!

Freddy: The reporters! Scare the fuckin’ reporters over there! (We now see Bill and Butchie doubling back to the door)

Palaka: Where?

Freddy: Over there! Over there!

Palaka: (Running towards the wrong group of people) Hey, I’ve been attacked! I’m injured, looks what’s happened to me! Help me! (He’s holding up his newly hurt hand) Please! Please!

(Now we see the rest of the Yost gang exiting the door and heading toward the parking garage, needing to get past the reporters)

Freddy: (To Palaka) No, no! Over there! Over there! (Freddy gets out of the car now and heads towards the reporters to block them. Freddy manages to distract the reporters while the Yosts make their escape. We see the Yost wagon rushing out of the parking garage, followed by Kai’s jeep and Bill’s truck)


(Cut to a beach parking area, we see Cass and Mitch sitting in her Porsche)


Mitch: I knew it was fuckin’ wrong. Letting him compete.

Cass: I’m sure it’s what he wanted.

Mitch: Well, the mistake is not him wanting it, the mistake is me letting him.

Cass: Sometimes I think, you have to let people follow their heart. (Mitch makes a face) And that whole heat, every ride, it was beautiful to see.

Mitch: What was beautiful, watching him milk a closed out section to impress a bunch of fuckin’ judges! That’s not surfing. (Cass’ phone rings, she answers. It’s Linc, and she pretends it’s a different conversation)

Cass: Oh hi, yeah, I’m glad you called, can you tell the lab the film looks good?

Linc: (in the hospital) Are you with him?

Cass: Yeah.

Linc: I don’t know what’s going on. But the whole family just left here with Shaun, and… it looked to me like his eyes were open. He was moving his arms.

Cass: No, I don’t know about that reel.

Linc: Has anybody called Mitch?

Cass: No, but probably they will soon. (Linc sees Dr Smith in the hallway).

Linc: Just play it out. You doing any good with him?

Cass: Yeah, I like the way the film looks, a lot.

Linc: Yeah well, smart girl. (they hang up)

Mitch: You know that’s flapping your fins for an audience. That’s letting dipshits define you by a number, so other dipshits can compare you with other numbers so the other dipshits know who to pay to wear their sunglasses, so other dipshits in the malls know which ones to buy. I just…I shouldn’t have let him go out. (long pause) Um…and what I’m doin’ here…..instead of bein’ at the hospital… for me and for her. But I suppose that’s what’s it’s come to between my wife and myself.

Cass: Would you like to walk?


(Cut to the hospital hall, Linc has approached Dr Smith)


Linc: Uh, I’m a uh friend of the Yosts, and um, can you tell me anything about Shaun? His eyes were open, looked to me like he was moving his arms. Can you tell me anything about that?

Smith: (Has been eyeing Linc suspiciously) No.

Linc: Well you’re probably not allowed to talk to anyone who’s not part of the family.

Smith: This is a restricted area sir.

Linc: Thank you. (turning away) Thank you for the work you do. (They eye each other as Linc walks away.)


(Cut to the Snug Harbor Motel office, Barry is fiddling with a coffee machine)


Ramon: (to Dickstein) When my brother-in-law got shot one time, nobody felt like cooking.

Barry: One wonders, Ramon, why that comes to mind?

Ramon: When the Yosts get home, they’ll be sad….they’ll have no food.

Dickstein: Shall we take them a nourishing pot-luck dinner?

Ramon: Yeah, that’s what I would think.

Dickstein: Something which can be heated easily and served without fuss.

Barry: May I be your wheel man? Once I’ve seen to room 24? O-Only to close the door I left open as I fled.

Ramon: (rolling his eyes at Dickstein) Or, you could leave closing the door till tomorrow.

Barry: I intend no confrontation with what I saw within. Only to mark the boundary between us. Didn’t the poet say: Good fences make good neighbors? (Barry walks out, Ramon and Dickstein each sigh and start after him. As the group starts across the parking area, Barry says:) Uh, no skipping! (Barry looks across the parking to the 3 bikini-clad cutout figures that Butchie and John left there earlier, and points at them) Animate or inanimate?

Dickstein: Inanimate.

Barry: (As he slowly approached the door to room 24) Do you hear the dead man singing within, gentlemen?

Ramon: I’m half deaf from the leaf blower.

Barry: No, attorney Dickstein?

Dickstein: Ah, surfer’s ear. Exostosis of the ear canal.

Barry: I alone then am favored by that jovially croaking post-coital falsetto, winsomely characturing Debbie Boone? (He begins humming and singing “You light up my life”, as he quickly grabs the door and slams it shut)

Ramon: (Ramon and Dickstein have been trying not to stare at Barry) Maybe we could get them some pea soup?

Barry: Black knee socks.

Dickstein: You’re suggesting we go to a pea soup restaurant, am I correct Ramon? Now that the door is properly closed.

Ramon: (Barry is frozen in his tracks, Ramon takes him by the arm) Come, come.

Dickstein: We’ll take mine.

Ramon: Yeah.


(Cut to the Yost house, Shaun’s room. Shaun is in bed talking to Butchie as he checks the surf meet results online)


Shaun: I won, dad.

Butchie: Good job.

Shaun: Can’t I get out of bed?

Butchie: Aw, it’s a 3-ring circus out there now Shaunie, if you get out of bed we’ll be up to 5. (Butchie peers through the bedroom door to see Cissy, Kai and John in the living room, Bill is near the door looking out the window. Cut to the front of the house, there’s a small crowd of on-lookers in the street. Freddy and Palaka are sitting in their car a short distance away, “keeping watch”. Palaka is wrapping his wrist and hand with some duct tape, struggling with it)

Freddy: What a stupid fuck you are.

Palaka: Almost got this put on.

Freddie: Explain to me the difference between you, and a monkey in a tree.

Palaka: (chewing on duct tape) Bleeaack, I don’t know. Would it distract you if I asked you a question? (Freddy is studying the group of on-lookers) I called you yesterday, Butchie wanted to buy an ounce. “Don’t give him no dope, sell him shit.” Right? Could you explain your thinking? If you think I could follow it.

Freddy: He’s got some insurance settlement, Butchie. He thinks he’ll deal, instead of just use. What he’s gonna do, is OD and die.

Palaka: Long term, we lose a client.

Freddy: All the weight I move, you think Butchie’s 2 dime bags a day means anything to me?

Palaka: Nah, absolutely not.

Freddy: (shaking his head) Moron.

Palaka: So, our angle….

Freddy: Is what?

Palaka: No, um, um, I’m asking.

Freddy: I don’t know. Not why I told you not to sell to him, not what I flew out here for to see shape-changers in a rear-view mirror.

Palaka: You see him now, you see him?

Freddy: Shut up.

Palaka: Nah, I go weeks on end not knowing what I’m up to.

Freddy: (nodding to the growing crowd) Believe me, it’s gonna be a zoo out here for that family to deal with. And you’re too fuckin’ ignorant to realize it.

Palaka: (Still struggling to get the duct tape secured around his wrist) God what a fracture!


(Cut to the beach, as Cass and Mitch are walking)


Mitch: When I was a kid, there was still some of those old-timers down here in those drift-wood shacks.

Cass: Dempsey Holder.

Mitch: Uh, you know your history.

Cass: Well like I said…

Mitch: You like vintage. (pause) When you love a thing, you want to pass it on.

Cass: You have.

Mitch: You met my son? Now Shaun.

Cass: You should also know, you’ve had an effect on a lot of people. Ya know, who you are. (stops walking and pauses) Come to my hotel.


(Cut back to the Yost house, Butchie is approaching Cissy. Cissy is hanging up a cell phone)


Cissy: Straight to fuckin’ voice mail.

Butchie: Well, if dad’s surfing, he’s not going to have his phone on.

Bill: (mumbling to himself at the window) I’m a family spokesman. I’m a retired police officer. Let’s give the Yost family a little bit of privacy….

Cissy: What’s that Bill?

Bill: Gawkers, press, candle fanatics, we’re on the precipice of a clusterfuck! I’m thinkin’ I’ll go out and thin it out.

Cissy: I’d appreciate it.

Bill: Happy to do it. Come on Zip. (John is standing in the way) Why don’t you press yourself up against the door, make it impossible to do what she’s asked me to do. (John leans against the door, Kai grabs John’s hand and pulls him out of the way.) Jesus Christ almighty. (Bill goes outside)

Kai: John wanted to go look at some boards at the shop.

John: I’m gonna bone Kai Butchie. I may have to break her jaw first.

Kai: No floor boning, we’ll just clear off a couch.

Butchie: Make her see god, John.


John: I’m gonna try hard enough.

Kai: Yeah, we’ll go out back. We can jump the fence. (They leave)

Cissy: Where is that guy from?

Butchie: Cincinnati. (Cissy sighs) Shaunie won.

Cissy: Maybe I should leave your dad another message. (She walks to the window and looks out) I went off on him.

Butchie: Um…yeah?

Cissy: When it looked like Shaun was gonna die.

Butchie: Um, I bet dad held his end up. The last few days have been a little strange. I’m not confusing you two with the Huxtables.

Cissy: (peering out the window) Is that Freddy out there?

Butchie: Yeah?

Cissy: Why am I surprised he’s not in Hawaii?

Butchie: He flew out to beat my balls off.

Cissy: I don’t want any trouble here Butchie!

Butchie: We’re alright. I mean he drove me to the hospital.

Cissy: He’s not surfing! His boards are in the garage!

Butchie: Well, I mean when you go up in the air like he did, it has to fuck with your head a little.

Cissy: What, Freddy?

Butchie: No…. (pauses, thinking about what to say) I don’t know.

Cissy: Well tell Shaunie I’ll be in in a minute. I’m gonna go have a cigarette. (grabs a pack and heads for the back door)

Butchie: Sure.


(Cut to the street outside. Bill is approaching Freddy, who’s leaning against the car.)



Bill: Excuse me. I have to ask you your business with the Yosts.

Freddy: My business is none of your business.

Bill: I believe I just made it my business. What is your name please?

Freddy: What’s your name?

Bill: Bill Jacks, I’m a retired police officer, and you don’t wanna make me ask your name again.

Freddy: Retired cops don’t get my name, what time it is, or pissed on if they go up in flames.

Bill: That would be a mistake by you, pertaining to me.

Freddy: Then go up in flames and I’ll piss on ya.

Bill: Because I will kick your ass, retired or not.

Freddy: (pauses, studying Bill) I’m a friend of the family, alright?

Bill: I’m a friend of the family.

Freddy: Then they got 2 friends lookin’ out for them.

Bill: And you look out for them how, by seein’ when their backs are turned so you can steal their drapes?

Freddy: (pauses again) I’ve flown a long distance on my own dime to look out for these people.

Bill: I don’t have to fly, cause I live nearby.

Freddy: Well pin a rose on your donkey nose.

Bill: Bein’ you won’t tell me your real name, here’s a made up one. Do not impede me lookin’ out for these people, dipshit who looks like someone smashed his face with a board. (both of them appear to be enjoying this exchange quite a bit. They both lean back against the car and look around)


(Cut to the Porsche, driving with Mitch and Cass, Cass is on the phone with Linc again)


Cass: Susan, make your own decision about those exposures and we’ll go over them at the lab.

Linc: (who is now standing in front of the Yost house.) This is bullshit, get him over here.

Cass: Really.

Linc: Yes, really, they brought him home.

Cass: I may take a ride over there.

Linc: Well, make it fast, I’m standing around like a fucking wanna-be. (hangs up)


Cass: (to Mitch) It’s the girl who called earlier.

Mitch: Susan.

Cass: She’s been following the story. They’ve taken Shaun home.

Mitch: Turn around. (she turns the car around)


(Cut to the surf shop, Kai and John are there)


Kai: Maybe you wanna find yourself a board, John. People take hours with that. Could be our full date.

John: Where do we bone, Kai?

Kai: If we were gonna bone? My trailer’s out back. What does bone mean, John?

John: I don’t know Butchie instead.

Kai: Touch my tits.

John: (confused) Tits don’t ring a bell. (she takes him by the hand to lead him out of the shop) Are we gonna bone?

Kai: We’re going to my trailer. Boning doesn’t necessarily ring a bell.


(Cut back to Shaun’s room, where he is sitting up and reading a magazine. Butchie enters)


Shaun: I’m not tired.

Butchie: OK, you can read them mags, no need to stay in bed.

Shaun: Why does Gram want me to?

Butchie: Well, she saw you get hurt.

Shaun: I’m OK now.

Butchie: You were hurt. (he pauses, then sits down beside Shaun) Hey, you remember anything, you know, after you wiped out? (Shaun shakes his head – no) You got fuckin’ done, man. Owned hard. You know, Gram and Gramps too, they thought you weren’t gonna make it. A lot of people…. (he takes the magazine from Shaun and starts reading).

Shaun: I woke up, I had a tube in.

Butchie: Yeah. (points to a picture in the magazine) One time I put “Icy Hot” in the crotch of this guy’s wetsuit.

Shaun: And Bill was there, and Zippy.

Butchie: And then you got better. But before that, I didn’t think you could.

Shaun: Zippy was dead, the day before yesterday.

Butchie: You thought he was dead.

Shaun: Can I go out on the half-pipe?

Butchie: Your Grams is out there smoking a cigarette.

Shaun: She’s always worried.

Butchie: Alright understand you go out there you can’t just hug her and say “I’m OK Grams” and start to boogie. (Shaun nods and gets up) I let you go out there, you’re gonna do what you’re gonna do, but you have to let Grams do what she has to do. Cool?

Shaun: Thanks, dad.

Butchie: You know, because something really did happen to you, Shaunie. (they study each other for a moment, Shaun starts to leave) Don’t go to the front of the house, there’s a lot of people out there.

Shaun: OK

Butchie: An they heard something happened, they’re just curious, that’s all.

Shaun: OK (He leaves)

(Butchie pulls out his phone and dials)

Butchie: Yo, dad, call mom for christ’s sake. All right, it’s not what you think. Just call her.


(Cut to the back yard, Cissy is smoking as Shaun exits the house)


Shaun: Hi Gram.

Cissy: What are you doing?!

Shaun: Dan said, you know, I could ride a little while.

Cissy: (sighs, not happy) Did he?

Shaun: And not to go out front.

Cissy: So dad was full of instructions. Did he tell you to break your neck for the second time today?

Shaun: (we cut to Butchie, inside, listening through the door) Gram, I feel like a dork in there laying around.

Cissy: (shouting now) Well isn’t that too goddamn bad. You listen to me, don’t listen to that fucking idiot . (She leads him back to his room, we see Butchie cringing as though he knows what is coming) You stay in here till you hear me say you can leave. (still shouting at Shaun, then she comes out to confront Butchie in the living room) Did you build that half-pipe?

Butchie: (quietly, head down, his back to Cissy) No ma, you did.

Cissy: (Completely losing it now, screaming) And what you did is blow smoke in the phone. “Ya mom, I’ll be right there ma” (we see Shaun in his room, listening to this) “Sorry I couldn’t help ma” I didn’t even tell Shaun you were gonna come help, cause I knew what the odds were! (Still screaming, sobbing) “Where’s my dad, Gram? Where’s my dad?” …. Now you want him to break his neck. (Butchie has had his back to her through all this, cringing. He starts and suddenly leaves, slamming the door. Cissy is left alone, sobbing)


(Cut to Kai’s trailer as she is putting on a record while John watches)


Kai: We’re boning now, aren’t we?

John: Now we’re boning, Kai. (acoustic blues starts playing)

Kai: Boning John, is when you put your joint in my pussy. (John is clueless) That’s your joint, here’s my pussy.

John: (still doesn’t have a clue) Now we’re boning.

Kai: (pauses) Has anyone ever called you slow John? Challenged?

John: (his mood changes, more serious) I don’t know Butchie instead.

Kai: You know, if we did bone, I’d feel like I was getting over on a hot slow guy.

John: (more serious now, he looks at her directly) See god, Kai.

(Kai looks at him, her eyes get really big, then eyes roll back in her head and she falls back onto the bed unconscious. Suddenly we see a grainy, blurry image of Butchie standing in an alley as someone comes up behind him and hands him something. Next we see Kai again, then we see Vietnam Joe standing with the crowd at the Yosts house. Joe is suddenly doubled over and grabbing his leg in severe pain, yelling “Ah!, Ow!”. After this we see Ramon with Dickstein and Barry, outside a sandwich shop, Ramon is grabbing at his crucifix chain as though it is burning him. All this time the blues music is playing. Now we see Kai again, it seems as though she is the one seeing all these things as she is passed out. Now we see Butchie in his motel room just getting ready to shoot up. Suddenly his hair starts smoking all over the top of his head. He drops his syringe and yells “Motherfucker!” and grabs his head. Cut back to John who is watching Kai with curiosity. Kai’s eyes open and she sits up, confused.)

Kai: (gasps) Oh, did you slip me a roofie?

John: I slipped you a roofie.

Kai: Shut up John, you don’t know what you are talking about.

John: I don’t know what I’m talking about.

Kai: (gasps, grabs her head) I’m so dizzy! (she grabs both her breasts) My piercings feel like they were in a furnace!

John: They were in a furnace.

Kai: Ah, shut up. (she reaches over and grabs John’s head) Don’t do that to me again, John, ever. You fucking hear me?

John: See god, Kai.

Kai: If that’s what it’s like, I don’t want to.

John: That’s what it’s like. (again looking straight at her, almost through her)


(Cut to the Yost house, in the street out front, as the Porsche arrives with Mitch. It’s dark now. Mitch says thanks to Cass and gets out, she drives away. Mitch starts walking up the street to his house. He stops when he sees a large crowd of people and reporters on his front yard. We see Linc lurking in his car watching. Bill and Freddy are still leaning against the car, when Bill spots Mitch and walks towards him, leaving Freddy at the car. Palaka is approaching with what looks like coffee and sandwiches.)


Freddy: Where’s’ the girl in the Porsche?

Palaka: Yeah, where’d she get to?

Freddy: What’d you do, celebrate your birthday over there?

Palaka: Busy Winchells. (he holds up his duct-tape-wrapped hand) It’s burnt. Burnt. It rains, it pours. (Bill has caught up with Mitch)

Mitch: Why’d she bring him home?

Bill: He recovered from his injuries.

Mitch: What’re you talking about?

Bill: (shrugs) A miracle? (Mitch is stunned, and walks slowly towards his house, leaving Bill alone talking to himself:) Whataya gonna say, tell him that the bird kissed him? (We hear a squawk from Zippy in his pocket. ) Aw Zippy, Jesus Christ Almighty!

(Mitch is mobbed by reporters as he approaches the house, he makes several exchanges with them about answering questions, then turns and talks to one of them)

Mitch: Why don’t you pick that cigarette of yours off my driveway, and swallow it? (This reporter turns and sees Vietnam Joe standing nearby, approaches him as if to ask a question. Joe raises his hands to wave the reporter off)

Bill: (seeing Joe) There’s another fucking drug casualty.


(Cut to the interior living room as Mitch enters, Cissy is sitting there smoking a cig.)


Mitch: I’m so happy about Shaun.

Cissy: You notice, I’m smoking in here?

Mitch: If we’d done things my way at the hospital, he wouldn’t be alive.

Cissy: I looked for you when we were leaving.

Mitch: Yeah, I had the phone off. Just coming to terms with how it seemed like it was gonna be for Shaunie.

Cissy: Maybe if I asked why you had the phone off you’d tell me were you went?

Mitch: I walked away, Cissy. I - you know, I’m not trying to turn away from that. You know, and I’ll take whatever time I have to .. to live into what that means. But I’m also not gonna deny the things you said to me in that room. And, it’s going to take some time living into those too.

Cissy: (pausing) You wanna see Shaun? (We see Shaun, laying in his room, listening to them.)

Mitch: He’s in his room?

Cissy: Over there. (Mitch starts to Shaun’s room, then stops and sits down with a sigh)

Mitch: What you said to me in the hospital shamed me, Cissy. And it made me recognize how my shortcomings have hurt you. And I mean that’s… that’s on me to deal with. But I’d just as soon Shaunie not see me right now, this fucked up.

Cissy: (Shaking her head) Not being as bright as you, Mitch, so full of the wisdom of the East, sounds like you’re saying that what’s right for you is to do whatever you fucking want. (He groans and leans back, he knows what’s coming) Which isn’t exactly fresh news.

Mitch: Cissy….

Cissy: Anyways, we’re a little busy here. Go do your heavy thinking. And whoever drove you from the hospital, can give you a lift.

Mitch: Which is another way of saying, yeah we do need time apart. I’m going. (heads for the door) There’s a mob outside, I’ll go over the back fence. Everyone better get used to that.

Cissy: Maybe not you Mitch. (He turns and looks at her, then leaves)


(Cut to Butchie in his motel room, he’s feeling his head carefully, trying to figure out what happened to him. After a moment, he gets up and leaves. His drugs and needle laying on the table having not been used)


(Cut back to the street at the Yost house, we see Dr Smith approaching on foot. Bill and Freddy are still at their post, Bill spots Smith)


Bill: Doc! (They exchange waves)

Palaka: Physician? (Freddy and Bill just look at him. Smith approaches the house and is met by reporters wanting to ask questions. Smith tells them no. )

Palaka: Is that the bay, or the ocean itself? ( He seems to be making an excuse for walking over to the house, then leaves and walks away)


(Cut to the interior house as Smith knocks on the door. Cissy is lighting a cig off the stove, then looks out the window to see the Dr. She quickly puts out the cig and answers the door)


Cissy: Dr, hi. Yeah, you smell the smoke. I usually do it outside. (He enters)

Smith: Uh…so how is Shaun?

Cissy: Breaking my balls to let him skate.

Smith: Well, I take that as a good sign.

Cissy: (pauses then looks at him) What do you want? (reconsiders her attitude) Sorry.

Smith: No … um, uh…It’s a good question.

Cissy: Uh….are you hear to examine him?

Smith: It’s important to me not to misrepresent myself, Mrs. Yost. Uh… I’m confident the diagnosis of Shaun’s condition that I gave you and your husband in that waiting room was correct. Shaun’s x-rays showed catastrophic spinal injury. His E.E.G…..the test that measures brain waves, was essentially a flat line. Now, people don’t survive those injuries as vegetables, let alone recover fully. Yet I don’t doubt, if you let me examine Shaun, I’ll confirm that he has recovered. Which brings us face to face with possibilities that… uh… I’ve been taught deserve no more than a friendly pat on the head. Which brings me there….here….(stammering) to…to…uh. Watching a stranger tie himself in knots is probably not your idea of fun just now, but…um.

Cissy: (pausing, smiling) Room’s in back.

Smith: Thank you. (he goes to see Shaun) You know, I smoke sometimes -- a couple a day.


(Cut to an exterior, looks like the Yost’s back yard. Butchie is climbing over a fence and hops into the yard. He walks over to the next fence to see Mitch. Mitch is dangling from the top of the fence by one leg, the leg hooked over the fence by the knee and Mitch trying to hang on to the fence to hold himself up. )


Butchie: Dad? Hey. (Mitch looks around to see him)

Mitch: Fuck

Butchie: Hey that’s some mess out front huh?

Mitch: Yeah, and now I gotta nail right in the back of my knee.

Butchie: Well you’re hanging there like a side of beef. (He moves to try to lift Mitch)

Mitch: No, no, no, don’t don’t…..get away. I don’t want to tear the artery.

Butchie: (He’s lifting anyway) We gotta get you off there dad.

Mitch: Wait, just wait….fuck!

Butchie: (Lifting again) Now come on, here we go—

Mitch: OK, you know what? Put your thumb above it just to stop the circulation.

Butchie: Just shut up, dad!

Mitch: Goddamnit! Just to stop it from spurting.

Butchie: (Literally lifting Mitch off of the fence and setting him on the ground) Oh what, a fountain?

Mitch: (On the ground now) Oh fuck, is it spurting?

Butchie: No, I’m fucking with you. You’re off the hook dad. (Mitch is fine, no blood anywhere, he stands and takes stock of himself) I guess you heard about Shaun.

Mitch: Yeah, that was something, huh?

Butchie: Here, come on, let’s go clean it up. Up in your fort. (Mitch starts to walk away) Where are you going?

Mitch: Thanks. (walks away, leaves Butchie as Butchie is checking his head again. Then Butchie hops over the fence)


(Cut to Shaun’s room as Dr Smith is having him do some tests. Shaun has his arms outstretched at his sides)


Shaun: Now?

Smith: Yeah. (Shaun takes his fingers, eyes closed, and brings them together to meet. Like a drunk test.) Good. Now, bring your fingers toward your face and touch the tip of your nose.

Shaun: This sucks. (He performs the test flawlessly)

Smith: OK, you can open your eyes. (He places his hand under Shaun’s chin) I want you to push down on my thumb with your chin. (Shaun does so) Hard as you can…hard. Good! Done! We’re all done. Very good.

Shaun: So…was I dead or something? (startles Smith)

Smith: You ---you looked pretty banged up when they brought you in, Shaun. But obviously, you’re fine. If I had any doubts, I’d restrict your activities.

Shaun: Did you think I was gonna die?

Smith: No sir. No I did not. (I think no, I think not?) (Smith gets up to leave) Well, I’m sure glad I got the chance to be your doctor. (Shakes Shaun’s hand)

Shaun: Thanks for taking care of me.

Smith: Sure. (We hear Butchie clearing his throat outside the door to the backyard)

Shaun: That’s my dad. (Opens the door to the yard.) Hey dad!

Butchie: Hey! I was just out here, uh, rippin’ a few.

Smith: I’ll see you Shaun.

Shaun: Can I skate?

Smith: Whatever’s OK with your grandmother.

Shaun: See ya. (Smith exits the house, Shaun stays inside. Shaun goes to the kitchen to find Cissy washing dishes.)

Cissy: What’d the doctor say?

Shaun: He wouldn’t restrict my activity.

Cissy: Did he leave?

Shaun: He’s out back with my dad.

Cissy: When did your dad get back?

Shaun: I guess he came over the fence.

Cissy: (softly) I was a jerk before, to your dad.

Shaun: (putting a hand on her shoulder) I’m sorry I scared you, getting hurt.

Cissy: I guess the doctor meant you could skate.

Shaun: He said you had to say it was OK.

Cissy: (smiling) It’s OK. I mean, maybe wait till your dad’s done talking to the doctor.

Shaun: OK

Cissy: Cause he was scared too, your dad.

Shaun: OK, thanks Gram.

Cissy: OK.


(Cut to the back yard, Butchie and Smith are in the half-pipe. Butchie is sitting, Smith is pacing as though he doesn’t know what to do with himself)


Smith: Maybe I …

Butchie: Find a place to light, would ya doc? (Smith sits down) I’m having a problem with my implants, doc. (points to his head with both hands)

Smith: Implants?

(We see Shaun inside trying to eavesdrop through the door. Palaka has come down the side of the house and is outside Shaun’s window)

Palaka: Psst! Hey. It’s Palaka, the ice cream man. You know me?

Shaun: No.

Palaka: No? Cause I know your father. Yeah. Listen, that guy, ah, in the back, is that the guy I saw coming in?

Shaun: How do I know who you saw coming in?

Palaka: You make a good point. Anyway, he’s a doctor? He identified himself as a doctor, to get past the heat.

Shaun: Yeah, he’s a doctor.

Palaka: Yeah? Good. Oh, thanks, thanks very much. Thanks dude. (Starts to leave then turns back) You know Steady Freddy? I do delivery work for him.

Shaun: I thought he was in Hawaii.

Palaka: No, he - he’s here. He broke my wrist. That’s why – because, you know. Anyway, I’m glad you’re better. Yo, cool. Hey, I was, eh, we were, er, we were in the parking lot when you booked? I was the guy who stood off the reporters. I mean, never mind. Don’t worry about it, I got you covered.

(Cut back to the half-pipe)

Butchie: Yeah, I passed out, it got that fuckin’ hot.

Smith: But that’s not the first place you’d think of for implants.

Butchie: Was sort of a “fuck you, who gives a fuck”, you know?

Smith: Uh-huh.

Butchie: 35 fuckin’ old-schoolers write to a magazine: “Butchie Yost and his fuckin’ aerials!”. “Stink finger to the entire fuckin’ sport!” Well good, douche bags. If I’m such a bad guy, deal with these! (pointing to his head)

Smith: (clears his throat) Sensations of burning like you felt with your implants, can be caused by IV drug use.

Butchie: What’s drug use got to do with the price of eggs? (pulls down his sleeve)

Smith: You’ve got a phlebitis that should be looked at. (pointing to Butchie’s arm) Where you shoot up. If it breaks off, that clot can go places in your body that you’d prefer it didn’t.

Butchie: (laughs nervously) Whoa, you should be a doctor.

Smith: It’s also possible that what you felt had nothing to do with paresthesias.

Butchie: Whatever that means doc, I’m busted for being a dope fiend.

Smith: Why would that make you ineligible for a paranormal experience? And as Shaun’s father, maybe your eligibility’s enhanced. (Butchie pauses, considering)

Butchie: You met my old man, right?

Smith: Mitch, yeah.

Butchie: Up in the air yesterday. I saw it with my own eyes. Off the fucking ground.

Smith: (pauses) I wouldn’t rule out the possibility of a connection.

Butchie: Listen to this doc, a guy shows up at my door, he creates money in his pants. Plastic! Platinum fuckin’ credit card with unspecified upper credit authority. His cell phone!

Smith: Unlimited calling minutes?

Butchie: You know, plus as far as getting’ high, the last couple of days have been one fuckin’ interruption after another. You know I should be on the floor, dope-sick. And I don’t feel that bad! (Smith is nodding, smiling oddly) What’s the matter?

Smith: (smiling, fidgeting) I am so happy! (laughs)

(We see Palaka has been behind the half-pipe listening to them, he moves to leave. On his way past Shaun’s window again he says: “You take care”)


(Cut to Shaun’s room again)


Cissy: (Calling to him from the kitchen) Shaun! Go ahead Shaun. Go on out on the half-pipe!


(Music fades in as he grins and grabs his skateboard. Cut to the front yard where the crowd continues to grow. We see Vietnam Joe with an apparent buddy of his. We also see Linc is still lurking in his car. All of them are noticing that John and Kai are walking towards the house. Linc gets out of his car. Cut to Bill on the front lawn, he has intercepted Ramon, Barry and Dickstein as they try to deliver their pea soup.)


Dickstein: But we’re bringing them some nutritious soup!

Bill: I don’t care if you’re bringing them a Sikorsky Helicopter.

Vietnam Joe: (to his buddy) Saw plenty of them, didn’t we.

Bill: (To Dickstein) I can’t let you in. We let you in, we gotta let ‘em all in!

(Freddy is standing next to the group, looking at Barry.)

Freddy: (to Barry) You need a smack?

Barry: No, I don’t need a smack.

John: (Approaching Bill with Kai) I got my eye on you!

Bill: Ohahh!

Freddy: (to Barry) That’s that shape changer.

(Linc has approached the side of the house where a group are watching Shaun in the half-pipe from across the fence)

Linc: Jesus Christ!

Kai: (she looks at Linc, then at John) What’s going on , John?

John: (Nodding towards Shaun in the half-pipe) See god, Kai. (We see the entire crowd is watching Shaun.)


(Cut to Shaun doing his routine in the half-pipe. Butchie and Smith are watching him and smiling. We see Cissy watching too, through the window. Music increases as we watch Shaun in the half-pipe, cameras are clicking, flashes, finally we see a freeze-frame of him, he has a big grin on his face.)


(Fade to white, then black, credits roll)


Click for the music from the credits

John From Cincinnati

Episode 4


Click for the trailer


(Open at the military radio transmitter site. We see John studying the facility from a distance. John is alone. Suddenly he is much closer to the site, then once again farther away.)


(Cut to a street in front of a grocery store, we see Palaka pushing a shopping cart across the street, which appears to be loaded with beach chairs and sundry items. A horn honks, tires screech as a car avoids Palaka)


Palaka: Hey, whatta ya doin’? Fucking homicidal prick!


(Cut to a sidewalk coffee shop, we see Dr Smith sitting with the morning newspaper as he is approached by a man in a suit. In the background we can still hear Palaka screaming at the car)


Lewinsky: Mark Lewinski, doctor. We met at the Ronald McDonald thing for the kids last year.

Smith: Oh, yes.

Lewinski: (Pointing to the paper, we see the headline: “Miracle Boy!”.) Good copy in the morning paper does not necessarily mean uninterrupted sleep for the hospital’s liability attorney.

Smith: Would you like me to prescribe some barbiturates?

Lewinski: (pauses) What I would like from you sir, what the hospital very much would like, is some sort of accounting as to how a patient could be admitted with a flatline E.E.G., be oxygen-deprived for 27 minutes, be worked up for a C2 fracture then exit the side door of our hospital within 2 hours.

Smith: I believe he left piggy-back.

Lewinski: Levity doctor?

Smith: This family is not going to sue.

Lewinski: “Miracle Boy” does undercut pain and suffering.

Smith: The hospital has a public relations problem, this should alleviate it. (hands Lewinski an envelope. Lewinski opens it and begins reading) "In resigning, I acknowledge misreading the Yost boy’s tests, which on recognizing my mistake, I destroyed."

Lewinski: Well, that’s very forthcoming. “Inhuman hours, incessant overwork”?

Smith: Put that in a “P.S.” (Smith gets up, looks around a bit then starts to wander off. Lewinki watches him with apparent confusion)


(Cut back to John at the same facility, looking at it from a distance. )


(Cut to the Yost house. Cissy is standing in the kitchen as Butchie comes in from the living room, wrapped in a blanket)


Butchie: Surfing ….. Shaunie?

Cissy: (chuckleing) A slow day yesterday. (They stand and study each other for a bit, then Butchie starts to leave)

Butchie: I’m gonna go look for that nut, that guy, for my friend John. Over the back fence, fucking reporters are having breakfast outside.


(Cut to Cass’ hotel room, Cass and Mitch are in bed together)


Mitch: Sometimes to save what you love, you have to be willing to lose it. It’s like surfing, if you do it for the wrong reasons..for the points, it’s just a dead game. (Mitch grimaces and shifts around)

Cass: Oh, your poor leg!

Mitch: Ah, last night’s as bad as it’s gonna get. Get some herbs, make up a poultice and pffft! (He turns to her and runs his hand up her torso) You feel that? The way the heat flows just like chakra to chakra. (lays his hand on her face) You see the colors? (She rolls away from him, we see her face and she is not happy)


(Cut to Kai’s trailer, she is arising from bed and looking around)


Kai: John? Are you dumpin’ out? (Gets up, looks in bathroom….no John. Opens the front door and calls out) John? (She hurries to put her clothes on)


(Cut to a street where we see John walking as a van pulls up beside him. There’s 3 guys in the van, we see them exchange words with John, then open the side door and John gets in.)


(Cut back to Cass’ hotel room, she is in the bathroom alone as Mitch calls to her from the other room)


Mitch: Cass, are you in there?

Cass: No, it’s Amelia Earhart.

Mitch: Could you come out here?

Cass: What?

Mitch: Ahh…it’s important. (She opens the bathroom door and steps out to see Mitch levitating in the center of the room. He slowly floats up to the ceiling, then gently pushes himself down again. Cass looks surprised and frightened.)


(Cut to the Snug Harbor as Dr Smith is walking into the parking area. He looks around. Freddy and Palaka are sitting in some lawn chairs taking the sun. )



Palaka: (imitating Freddy) “Is two days off a crime? Do I ever get to fucking relax?” That was you, boss, in your sleep during the night.

Freddy: I don’t talk in my sleep!! (Palaka spies Dr Smith, who is approaching Barry and Dicksten across the parking area.)

Palaka: Physician. It’s that physician. (We see Smith being directed across the way)


(Cut to Butchie’s motel room. Ramon is scrubbing the stove as Dr Smith knocks on the door)


Smith: Hello? Hello! (Steps inside) Ahh… I’m lookin’ for Butchie Yost. The gentleman across the way pointed out the room to me. I hope you don’t mind I’ve come in.

Ramon: You didn’t read the paper this morning? That family had a miracle last night.

Smith: At the hospital. I was Shaun Yost’s doctor.

Ramon: (Reaching to shake Smith’s hand, he realizes he has on rubber gloves) Oh, I’m sorry, itchy. (taking off gloves and shaking Smith’s hand) I’m careful with germs. I smelled smoke, thought maybe it was the stove. You, you wanna stay or something? You could, you know, uh, wait for Butchie. I’ll take my tools and you can … yeah. (Picking up his cleaning stuff and leaving)

Smith: OK … sure …wait.


(Cut to Linc’s very fancy hotel room, Linc is talking to Cass)


Linc: In other words, you wanna talk about all this strange shit that’s going on? You’re an expert in that field? That is what I brought you on for?

Cass: OK, Linc, I get it.

Linc: If you got it, you’d still be in that room with him.

Cass: He went out to get a poultice for his knee.

Linc: You should be embarrassed to have to tell me that.

Cass: Fuck you. (getting up to leave) Fuck you.

Linc: The correct answer would be, “While you, Linc, are signing Cissy, I’m going to try to sell him on moving out of his house for good.” (She leaves)


(Cut to the van with John and 3 guys in it. One of the guys hands John a can of beer)


Guy 2: Share and share alike. Right Carnal?

John: Right Carnal.

Guy 3: (In back with John) That’s how we do it in I.B. (The van is pulling into a nursery of some kind, or orchard. As the van passes a guy who’s raking, the driver makes a sign for that guy to keep an eye out. As the van pulls further into the nursery, it pulls over and stops. Guy 1, who is driving, speaks to John)

Guy 1: So, John from Cincinnati, it’s time to chip in. We’ve done our last beer, gas too. (John is exchanging looks with Guy 3 who is getting pissed off at John)

Guy 3: How about I fuck you up, Joto?

John: How about I fuck you up?

Guy 1: You being funny? (Guy 3 takes a big swing and hits John hard on the jaw, which seems to have no effect.) Just get his pinche wallet man. (As guy 3 is slugging John again, Guy 1 is pulling out a switchblade and showing it to John) You think this is a joke cabron?

John: I think this is a joke.

Guy 1: (Turning around to John) I’ll cut your fucking heart out

John: Cut my fucking heart out.

Guy 1: You don’t think I’ll cut you? I’ll show you your heart while you die.

John: Show me my heart.

Guy 1: You ready to look, you fuck?

John: I’m ready.

Guy 1: Fuck you. (He starts stabbing John, several times) Fuck you! Fuck ! (John falls to the floor of the van, looking up at the guy.) You stare me down? You stare me down! I ain’t afraid to be the last you see.

Guy 2: Cold shot mano.

Guy 3: You did what you had to do, carnal.

Guy 1: Get this fuck out of my ride.


(Cut to Butchie’s room where Smith is still waiting. Kai walks in the door.)


Kai: Hey Doc!

Smith: How are you?

Kai: That guy’s lost … that I was with at the hospital? I though maybe he’d be here with Butchie.

Smith: Butchie’s not here either.

Kai: Things slow at the hospital?

Smith: I’ve resigned.

Kai: Whoa… If you see Butchie will you tell him I’m looking for John?

Smith: (nodding) I’m gonna check on Shaun in just a bit. (Kai leaves)


(Cut to the Yost house. Cissy is trying on a disguise consisting of a hat and glasses, checking herself in a mirror as Linc walks in)


Linc: Good idea, Cissy.

Cissy: Shaunie’s surfing. With Jojo and his other friends.

Linc: Out with the groms like yesterday never even happened.

Cissy: You got something you need me to sign, Linc?

Linc: Today isn’t yesterday, Cissy, and I’m not clear on what the new rules are, but I know the old ones have been canceled.

Cissy: Hmm, and you find time to come by and tell me.

Linc: Do you know everything that you need to know, dressed up like Michael Jackson while your boy’s in the water with 50 ass-holes pointing a camera at him? Works for me. Of course, all those other kids in the water with Shaun, I’ve signed them already.

Cissy: And I need you, right Linc? Your steadying hand?

Linc: Where’s Mitch?

Cissy: My money would be, even seeing Shaun last night didn’t convert you from the kind of asshole only asks questions he knows the answer to. (She starts for the door) You wanna help? Stay … do the dishes. (She leaves. He looks around a bit, then goes to the sink and starts to do the dishes)


(Cut to the surf shop, Kai is sitting alone as Butchie enters)


Kai: Shit.

Butchie: What?

Kai: I thought John would be with you.

Butchie: Well give me a fuckin’ break, Kai.

Kai: Well, he must’ve wandered off when I was sleeping. I looked for him at your motel.

Butchie: Well I spent the night at my mom’s house. He could be anywhere in the fuckin’ world by now.

Kai: Don't stop there.

Butchie: Well did he freak out about boning you?

Kai: He doesn’t even know what boning means. Maybe I’d have wound up showing him, except my pussy overheated like it was cooking on a George Forman grill. My tits too, like they were in a blast furnace.

Butchie: You got hardware in your box.

Kai: So?

Butchie: Your nipple rings. My implants were overheating too, Kai, as you know, that’s why my head was going up in smoke. FUCK!

Kai: It was! We were in my trailer figuring out he was a virgin, and John says: “See god Kai”. Just like that. And then I went into some hallucinatory state. And there was smoke coming our of your head.

Butchie: Fuck! Do you wanna go looking for him with me?

Kai: Yeah, I’ll go with you.

Butchie: Alright, let’s check out the pier.

Kai: You know, for not knowing what the word meant, I wonder how John got the idea to bone me?

Butchie: I was trying to tell him that he picked a nice person to like.


(Cut to Bill’s house, bill is alone and just bringing in the morning paper and reads the headline)


Bill: Look at this, Zip. This fills me with misgivings …Bandying words like “miracle” in the newspaper headline. This can only attract new types of shitheel into that boy’s life. Which wasn’t short of shitheels before. We’re going to keep our distance. I’m informing you of that right now! We’re not going to jockey for attention or be looked at as a nuisance like I saw last night in Shaun’s grandmother’s eyes when I was over at that house. Or stand in the street, amongst mopes like that Hawaiian and his belt-high sidekick. Or the soup brigade from that motel. (Bill is re-arranging the bubble-wrap padding on the spiral stairs) I have plently of tasks and chores within this house that I’ve been derelict attending to that will more than occupy our time. (He grabs some duct tape to secure the bubble-wrap and tears it with his teeth. The piece of tape sticks to his lower lip) Now there, that’s it. That’s the doomsday scenario. (Grabbing the tape to pull it off his lip) May this pain come to Clinton for disgracing the oval office. (rips the tape off quickly) Oh, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ. (A long pause and sigh) That will never happen again. A sequence of events so complicated, that Butchie Yost at the age of 10 could help the only woman in the world that when I pass a remark about some airhead pisspot that I collar, she has the sweetness to recall, “I wonder if it’s that Yost boy who used to help me with my groceries?” I throw him a break because of my darling Lois, keep one eye out after, since I un-loosed him in society… That that – lookin’ out for Butchie – would later cross my path with Shaun when Butchie became a junkie dumpster tenant. Now who in his right mind would believe that that sequence of events could be repeated? That boy is gone from us. (Turns and looks up the spiral stairs) And I don’t regret one thing! Children or not, the time I spent with you… was the joy of my life.


(Cut to the pier, where Butchie and Kai are questioning 3 young boys)


Butchie: I’ve got a favor guys, I’m looking for a buddy of mine. We lost our friend. He’s about yay tall, collar up like this, walks around: “What do you want Butchie Yost?” Have you seen a guy looks like that around here? (boys shake their heads – no) No? Alright well if you do, I want you to tell this lady right here. Can you do that? Nice. All right, give me a pound. (knocks fists with all three) Boom, boom, boom. Mario brothers! I got the high score on that. (he and Kai walk away)

The first place he asked me what I wanted, right there. “What do you want, Butchie Yost”

Kai: Should we put up a plaque? (As they walk down the pier, they take turns gently kicking each other in the butt)


(Cut to the Yost house. Linc is still there alone. He appears to be going through the family’s photos and mementos. Dr Smith walks in, Linc pretends to be cleaning a photo)


Smith: Hello.

Linc: Shaun’s surfing. Mrs. Yost’s at work.

Smith: And you’re pitching in, cleaning house.

Linc: What, is this a restricted area?

Smith: Well that…that wouldn’t be for me to say. (Linc turns and looks at Smith, Smith approaches him with his hand out) Michael Smith. (they shake)

Linc: Linc Stark. We ah, didn’t introduce ourselves at the hospital … when you were throwing me off the floor.

Smith: Well, that was for me to say.

Linc: People need room to do their jobs. Of course, your job’s over now though. Am I right? Unless you get sued? Negligent oversight, incompetent evaluation, emotionally damaging for the family.

Smith: I’m not here to protect my ass.

Linc: That’s a plus for the Yosts. Now that Shaunie’s out of the woods, they’ve got new hills to climb. They don’t have time for hangers-on and losers making the trip any tougher.
Smith: Are you related to the Yosts?

Linc: Not by blood.

Smith: Maybe you just smell it in the water.

Linc: Will that make me dangerous?

Smith: To whatever got Shaun well? I wouldn’t think so, no. Which does it make me, Linc? A loser or a hanger-on if I believe a miracle might have got him well?

Linc: It makes you a fanatic.

Smith: Oh. (leaving) Tell Mrs. Yost and Shaun I stopped by.

Linc: Absolutely.


(Cut to the surf shop. Cissy is minding the store. Shaun and a few boys are watching a surf video in the store while a couple guys are snooping around)


Cissy: What are you looking for?

Guy: I’m looking for a wetsuit.

Cissy: (nodding to a corner) Full suits, shorties, 2-mils, 3.2’s.

Guy: Thanks.

Boy 1: (watching the video) Sick!

Boy 2: Yost totally surfs faster than Fanning.

Boy 1: Dude, my grandmother surfs faster than Fanning, and she died last year.

Boy 2: So what? Yost died yesterday.

Cissy: (She’s been watching the 2 strangers in the shop, then addresses one of them) Who’s that wetsuit for?

Guy: It’s for me. (He’s looking at the women’s suits)

Cissy: Hmm. Surfing in drag is a little rough on your nuts.

Guy: No, she asked me to look for one for her too – my girlfriend.

Cissy: (Making the hand motions for jerking off) Is that what you call your hand – your girlfriend? I guess it’s a slow day for train wrecks, right? You pieces of shit. You fucking newspaper assholes. (She grabs a camera from the 2nd guy and struggles with him)

Guy 2: That’s my camera lady!

Cissy: I’ll give you your camera and you take it outside.

Guy: (on his way out) How are you feeling, Shaun? How’s your neck?

Shaun: Get outta here, you piece of shit!

Cissy: (Kicking at the guy) Fuck out! Get the fuck out!

Boy 1: Ohh, miracle boy said “shit”.

Shaun: (slaps at boy 1) You get the hell out of here too. Look at the mess you made.

Boy 1: What’d I do? (The boys all file out)

Shaun: Stupid fuckers.

Cissy: Hey.


(Cut to an arroyo out in the brush somewhere. We see John, laying prostrate on the ground with blood on his jacket and shirt. Vietnam Joe is approaching and sees John.)


Joe: Oh fuck me! (rushes to John’s side) Jesus, what happened? (looks John over a bit) It’s not that bad. I’m going to get you some help. I’m going to my truck. It’s just up here. It’s, it’s not just up here, but I’ll be back in just a minute. I, I promise I’ll be back for you. (John is hurt, struggles a bit and manages a smile for Joe)


(Cut to Bill’s house as Bill goes to answer the door)


Bill: (Yelling to the door) Hey I’m in my underwear and I don’t want any magazines.

Butchie: It’s me Bill!

Bill: That’s Butchie! (opening the door) You in trouble?

Butchie: No!

Bill: Well my testicles are on display to the neighborhood. Get in here! (Butchie and Kai come in)

Butchie: Uh, that guy John is missing. My surf student from Cincinnati.

Bill: Where’s your son?

Butchie: He was surfing with Sammy and them, my mom said this morning. (Kai grabs her cellphone and starts dialing.

Bill: In relation to that guy gone missing, when’s the last time you saw Shaun?

Butchie: Last night.

Kai: (On the phone) It’s Kai, Cissy. If you haven’t noticed, I’m late for work. I hear Shaunie got wet this morning, he get any good ones?

Bill: She’s got a couple of brains, what’s she doing with you?

Kai: (giving them a thumbs up sign) Anyways, I’m helping Butchie look for his loopy friend.

Butchie: At the shop, Shaunie? (Kai nods yes)

Bill: Not abducted, that was my concern. Now this John who is missing, and not a pervert, what do you know about him?

Butchie: Well he’s got a credit card with his name on it.

Kai: Yeah, John Monad.

Bill: (dressing in the next room) You found no occasion to garner further information from other ID? (Kai is motioning to Butchie about the padded spiral staircase. Butchie points upstairs and mouths “wife” and makes the "throat-slashed” motion for “dead”. Then he points to the padded stair and pretends to bang his head against it.

Butchie: Uh, well I asked him straight out for it Bill, and he says: “I don’t know Butchie instead”.

Bill: Well that would raise the question of mental health. (comes back into the room)

Kai: Should we notify the cops he’s lost?

Bill: Huh? You got a photograph?

Butchie: Uuhhhhh, no.

Bill: Anyways, they won’t list him for 24 hours. I’ll give them an informal heads-upping. Not that they pay attention to me anyway.

Butchie: OK. Well thanks Bill.

Bill: It’s his attitude anyways. He’s going to end up on the wrong end of a nightstick. (mimicking John) “I got my eye on you!”.

Kai: See ya Bill.

Bill: Whoa!. What’s your goddamn hurry?

Butchie: We gotta go look for John!

Bill: Well what do I look like, an information booth, bolted to the floor? Am I a recent amputee?

Butchie: Do you want to go look with us?

Bill: How’s that going to augment the effectiveness? We divide the community into quadrants!

Butchie: Good, great. (to Kai) That way Bill can’t hear us!

Bill: Sarcastic. That’s how he got so successful. (to the birds) OK, going out to help these two! Something new every day!


(Cut to Cass’ hotel room, she is entering to find Mitch waiting for her.)


Mitch: Closed!

Cass: The Alternative Apac-a-thary?

Mitch: Apothecary. And they’re pretty casual about their business hours. What do you think about … my levitation?

Cass: I don’t know what to think .. like always.

Mitch: Well you feel, over the years, I don’t know, like, that maybe something about you is special. And you assume, I guess, that the thing that’s special has to do with what you’re good at.

Cass: Surfing.

Mitch: And now, maybe it turns out I go up in the air, Shaun heals, and maybe all along this feeling of being special wasn’t about athletics or years of spiritual discipline. Maybe it’s about family.

Cass: Do you wanna stay here, Mitch?

Mitch: Do you, you see what I’m saying?

Cass: Ya

Mitch: Right

Cass: I do.

Mitch: I go up in the air…

Cass: Shaunie heals. Yeah I know.

Mitch: And the joker in the deck is this .. ah … John.

Cass: Butchie’s friend.

Mitch: What’s his connection to the family. (pause) Cause whenever I see him he looks at me like he knows something about me that I haven’t even known myself.

Cass: He sure is an amazing surfer.

Mitch: How would you know that?

Cass: Oh … don’t get a restraining order or anything, but I have been watching you. A couple of days ago?

Mitch: Oh, yeah, when you were watching me. Maybe it is about how I surf. And Shaun being my grandson. I, I’d like to stay here, I think. I mean … just till we get this all kind of … figured out. I don’t mean, you know, every single night?

Cass: I wonder if … the store’s open yet? Where you get your poultice?


(Cut to the pier. We see Dr Smith sitting alone looking around. He picks up a bicycle and starts to leave)


(Cut to Joe’s van, as he’s driving John into town. John is sitting up, but appears to be a little out of it)


Joe: Eh, I’m sorry about the bumps. I’m sorry, I can’t help. (Joe is almost frantic, he’s looking over at John, very worried)

John: Pull over, Joe. Joe, pull over. (Joe quickly pulls over. John takes Joe’s hand and places it on his side, over his wound) You can help. (Joe looks at John incredulously)


(Cut to Cass’ hotel room, she is alone. She sits on the bed, appears upset. She slowly sinks to the floor, looking around and getting more upset. Suddenly we see what appears to be her “vision” of the scene where John was found by Joe. Next she/we see Joe’s van, and the image of John laying on the ground, then an image of John at the radio transmitter. Next we see John putting Joe’s hand on his wound, and images of the Snug Harbor Motel. Suddenly she gets up, grabs her things, and heads out of the room.)


(Cut to a street, where we see Dr Smith, on foot now, walking past a small house where a woman is pruning some roses.)

Woman: Good afternoon.

Smith: Uh … hello. Um, um … beautiful roses.

Woman: Uh, you want a catalog? (She speaks with an accent, this sounds like “Cadillac”)

Smith: A Cadillac?

Woman: Yes.

Smith: Sometimes I’ve …(Now he notices that she has a sign in her window that says: “Avon sold here”) Oh, a catalog.

Woman: Yes.

Smith: Yes, of course, I would … thank you. (She hand him her pruning shears and goes inside, then returns with the Avon catalog.) Is this the way to the Snug Harbor Motel?

Woman: Yes.

Smith: That’s where I’m going. Gonna look in on Butchie Yost. I’m a physician, he has some festering implants. Thank you for this, um, I’ll fill this out. I’m sure there’s some wonderful products in here. Those are beautiful roses.

Woman: Thank you.


Cut to Butchie’s room at the motel as he and Kai enter.)


Butchie: I guess I’ll wait here.

Kai: If he calls by the surf shop, I’ll call you right away.

Butchie: Uh, y – you’re gonna go over there, huh?

Kai: Only 6 hours late to work.

Butchie: Oh no, good, Cus – you know, in case he shows up. You know, I’ll catch you later. Thanks for walking with me. (He steps up to her and gives her a little kiss on the cheek)

Kai: (laughing) Well, thanks for the peck!

Butchie: I know, right, what the fuck was that about? (Kai hesitates, then jumps on Butchie and starts kissing him hard.)


(Cut to the Snug Harbor parking lot, we see Ramon sweeping as Dickstein drives into the lot.)


Ramon: Abogado Dickstein!

Dickstein: How are things Ramon? What’s going on in the world?

Ramon: Butchie’s in his place with that blond. Previously they were looking for his surf student. Then the Hawaiians over there are working on their tan.

Dickstein: Some day yesterday.

Ramon: And how.

Dickstein: Yesterday was a 3-ring circus. (We see Smith walking into the parking lot, and we see Freddy and Palaka working on their tans. Palaka notices Smith)

Palaka: Here’s that physician. The physician. (Smith approaches Ramon and Dickstein)

Ramon: Forget something doc?

Smith: I left my dignity. (laughs) I was wondering if Butchie had come back.

Ramon: He got company now … young lady.

Smith: Ahhh… (Palaka leaves Freddy and walks over to Smith. At the same time, Barry drives into the lot and honks)

Ramon: El jefe.

Barry: (As he is parking) Good day!

Dickstein: Mr. Cunningham the new owner of the motel.

Smith: Ahhh…that’s…uh, as I risk repeating. (Palaka coughs)

Palaka: Doc, how are you? (Smith walks away to intercept Palaka as Barry approaches Ramon)

Barry: Good afternoon, Good Afternoon! I’d like for us all to work together. And I’ve blurted it out. And I’m glad.

(Cut to Palaka and Smith)

Palaka: Name’s Palaka, Doc. No reason that you’d realize, but last night you were talking to Butchie, I was under that half-pipe.

Smith: (Looking at Palaka’s duct-tape-wrapped-wrist) You want me to examine your wrist?

Palaka: Oh! Do you do, uh, informal diagnosises? (Holds out his arm and Smith takes it. Freddy watches this from a distance, then turns and sees Bill’s truck driving into the lot.

(Cut to Ramon and Barry and Dickstein)

Ramon: I thought you already employed us?

Barry: Let’s consider we’re permanently associated. Oh, is that too overtly gay? (Ramon looks sideways at Dickstein)

Dickstein: What association do you envision?

Barry: Oh, a working business partnership. I’m referring to the phrasing of the offer.

(Bill pulls up and parks, gets out and looks at Butchie’s room, then walks over to Freddy)

Bill: (pointing to Butchie’s room) Butchie Yost.

Freddy: In his room.

Bill: Apprising him on the results of a search. … No cell phone. I suppose you gotta explain that these days.

Freddy: I could give less of a shit. (Bill turns to go to Butchie’s room) He’s with that strange-haired girl.

Bill: Doing what?

Freddy: How the fuck would I know? (Bill walks off to Butchie’s room)

(Cut back to Smith and Palaka)

Palaka: Earache … ringing …

Smith: Getting back to the wrist, you really should have this x-rayed and set.

Palaka: Well, I should file tax returns too, doc. The government, all these years…

(A horn honks, we see Vietnam Joe’s van pull in and drive past Bill)

Bill: What is this nonsense now? (Joe pulls in and parks near to Smith. Smith excuses himself with Palaka and walks over to the van. Joe is getting out and looks at Smith)

Joe: I fuckin’ touched him and he fuckin’ healed.

Smith: I’m a physician, what’s the problem?

Joe: No problem, medic, let him make a fool out of you. (He starts to help John out of the van)

Smith: Don’t move him! (Seeing John is covered in blood)

Joe: He ain’t fuckin’ hurt.

John: You helped me Joe.

Joe: Now, you keep mouthing off like that, frat boy, a-a-and I’m liable to knock you out! (Smith is bending over, examining John)

Smith: Do you feel any pain?

John: I don’t feel any pain.

Joe: It’s bullshit, right?

Smith: It’s a healed wound with fresh blood. I don’t know what it is…

Joe: Phonied-up gag.

Bill: Watching from a distance) It’s a bunch of goddamn nonsense. (Walks to Butchie’s room)

Smith: Well … whatever’s happened, you seem to be alright now. (Helps John to his feet)

Joe: Well I guess it’s time to identify which warped rear-echelon asshole at the V.F.W. bar where I drink thought something I confided about events in-country was worth abuse for the sake of a fucking chuckle!

John: You didn’t leave me behind, Joe. (This enrages Joe, he grabs John by the collar)

Joe: Now you listen to me, frat-boy. You’re gonna tell me who it was, and then I am jumping in that van and driving to that gin mill, and I am gonna do some damage!

John: Tomorrow is another day. (They stare at each other for a while)

Joe: I’m undertaking inquiries tomorrow! You can guarantee that goddamn much! (Joe gets in his van and leaves as Smith takes John by the arm and leads him away)



(Cut to Butchie’s room, we see that he and Kai are still standing in the middle of the room making out. Butchie suddenly pushes her away )


Butchie: Oh, god, I’m sorry Kai. But I haven’t been high in 3 days. I’ll get hard over mud.

Kai: Butchie…

Butchie: what?

Kai: Let’s go to my place. (He looks over to his bed)

Butchie: Anything could be growing in those sheets. (Knock on the door)

Bill: Bill Jacks!

Butchie: Coming, Bill! We just completed our quadrants. (opens door, Bill steps in)

Bill: Safe … “I got my eye on you”

Butchie: Great.

Kai: Where was he?

Bill: My god, you have an erection! (turns to walk out) He’s right out side, Jesus Christ!

Butchie: I wanna bring down the hammer back at your place.

Kai: What if it’s now or never?

Butchie: We’ll go see how he’s doing.

Kai: Yeah, maybe he’s having fun with whoever he’s with.

Butchie: Um let me just - a – fix this unsightly bulge.


(Cut back to the parking lot, we see Smith and John watching Bill walk back over to Freddy)


Bill: So every collar you took in Hawaii there, that smart mouth buy you a beating?

Freddy: Nuh-uh, you boys were too eager to earn.

(Smith and John watching from a distance)

John: Bill’s not Freddy’s first Bill.

Bill: See I was never that type.

Freddy: That’s how you got your Rolls Royce.

Bill: Stay with the truck, I’m free to beat humps like you.

John: Freddy’s not Bill’s first Freddy. (Bill gets in his truck to leave. We see John spin around to face Butchie’s door, and Smith imitates him as Butchie and Kai exit Butchie’s room.) You’re in the right place, doc.

Smith: (laughs) So you say.

John: Tomorrow is another day.

Smith: I suppose I could take tonight to fill out this catalog.

John: Put that in a P.S.!

Butchie: What the hell happened to you Monad?

Smith: He’s alright.

Kai: Well his clothes are sure fucked up!

John: (imitating) That’s how we do it in I.B. (Bill is driving by, John looks at him) I got my eye on you, Bill!

(As Bill drives by Ramon, Diskstein and Barry)


Ramon: We got all three rings working now!

(As Bill drives out, we see Cass driving in in her Porsche)

Butchie: Check out the Porsche.

Kai: That chick works for Linc. She was looking to slap it on your dad. (Cass pulls up and stops next to them)

John: Cass needs a place to work. (John turns and walks over to get into Cass’ car.)

Butchie: What the fuck!?

Kai: Is she slapping it on him too?

Butchie: Look at my man John! Styling and profiling baby! (John gets in the car, reaches over and strokes Cass’ cheek. )

Smith: I guess I’ll say goodbye.

Butchie: OK, doc.

Smith: How’s the implants?

Butchie: Yeah, good. No heat or smoke all day.

Ramon: We got a position for a house physician?

John: (To Cass) Vroom-vroom! (She starts the car)

Smith: (to Palaka) I’ll stop by and see you tomorrow.

Palaka: Yeah, I’ll spend the might hoping somebody don’t cut in front of me.

John: (As Smith is walking away) Butchie wants to bring down the hammer. (Butchie and Kai look at each other)

Kai: Do you mind, John?

John: I do mind.

Butchie: Nah, he doesn’t mean it.

John: Get rid of the unsightly bulge. (Cass drives out of the lot)

Butchie: The Yost surfing school: 24 hours I will have you in the water or in to pussy.


(Cut to Cass’ hotel room. Mitch is sitting alone as Cass enters, he grabs a book as she walks in)


Mitch: The alternative Apothecary has this lending library. Light reading.

Cass: Sweet.

Mitch: (Reading the book title) “Levitation for the illuminated”

Cass: But… You know, I don’t think you should stay here.

Mitch: (pauses, surprised) Sure… why? (Cass turns and opens the door and leads John into the room)

Cass: He needs a place to stay. (Mitch is looking at John’s bloody clothes) He’s alright.

Mitch: Yeah, he looks great.

Cass: (To John) I’ll be right back. (She leaves the room)

Mitch: The joker in the deck.

John: (Pointing to his “wound”) I’d better have a good health plan.

Mitch: (Packing his bag) Do you need to stand aside for me to pass, or are you just gonna part, like the red sea? (John steps aside and leans against the wall.)


(Cut to Kai’s trailer as she and Butchie enter. She goes to her stereo to put on some music)


Kai: I’ll spare you the candles, but you can’t say the music blows.

Butchie: Deal.

Kai: And no fucking laughing, Butchie. (Peter Gabriel starts playing)

Butchie: Come on, Kai. (pauses to listen to the music) Was this playing the first time I threw up on you?

Kai: Playing at our junior prom.

Butchie: I missed our junior prom.

Kai: Yeah. And no freaking out about my piercings.

Butchie: You’re kidding, right? (pointing to his head)

Kai: Knowing about them is one thing, seein’ ‘ems different. No freaking out.

Butchie: (Lays down beside her on the bed) All my ladies set off the airport metal detectors, or they’re not my ladies long. And let me say this, with the compact metal detector right here in my tongue, I will find everywhere your metal may be hid.

Kai: Barry White’s in the house.


(Cut to Linc’s hotel room as he is answering the door to Cass)


Cass: I threw Mitch out.

Linc: Good thinking. (He shuts the door in her face, then turns and sighs, still standing by the door. We see Cass still standing outside his door. Linc shouts at her through the door) You know you’re fucking fired, right? I mean, you’re not that bone-fucking stupid to think I would keep you on the payroll. What guts! What honesty, what intelligence, without the vaguest idea of what is happening. Being sure, it means you need to be broke. (We see Cass turning and walking away while he is still talking through the door) A couple of strange things happen, you decide god’s taking over for Santa, deciding who’s naughty and nice. He’s firing up that coal log to burn the naughty in hell. (He grabs the door and opens it, stepping out in the hall to see she has gone)


(Cut to the Yost house back door as Mitch approaches and stands outside the door looking in. Cissy hears him and walks over, facing him through the door)


Mitch: Shall we try it again?

Cissy: (chuckles, shakes her head) Through the door? (He opens the door and steps inside)


(Cut to Cass’ room. She is re-arranging furniture to create a sort of barrier across the center of the room)


Cass: I’ll work over here, John. And then you’ll sleep over here while I sleep on the bed. Will you mind sleeping on the floor here? (John has a stack of folded towels that he’s using to add to the “barrier”)

John: See god, Kai.

Cass: “Cass”.

John: See god, Cass.

Cass: (pauses, perplexed) What do you mean?

John: Work over there.


(Cut to Bill’s living room as he talks to the birds)


Bill: Sweet enough look to his mug, “I got my eye on you”. When he restrains himself from running his mouth. (Bill has an apple, he motions to Zippy to keep it a secret from the other birds) Far as him being stabbed, I’m not doubting it could have been a hoax, I don’t subscribe it definitely was … (He’s slicing up the apple) being I and a bird of my acquaintance know a boy who survived fatal injury, following the bird’s own resurrection. Sole change from what I said to you previous, Zip: Last overlap between me and the Yosts, Butchie asking my help with that search. A P.S., my assistance. An end to the concluding chapter, and final completion and finish. (He’s handing some apple slices to Zippy. Suddenly he reacts to something he has “heard” coming from Zippy) That is senseless and offensive. I deal with that shitbird only to put him in bracelets. And I’m surprised you’d need me to say so. (We see Zippy bobbing on his perch, then squawks)

Is what you envision, relative to those people, I balance the Hawaiian’s bad influence? Well that, Zip, would outstrip by a full triple-somersault every previous unlikely set of circumstances. (He turns, grabs his jacket and leaves)


(Cut to the Snug Harbor parking lot, we see Freddy sitting in his deck chair, alone. Bill arrives in his truck, pulls in and parks next to Freddy. Bill gets out of the truck with an arm full of Winchell’s goods)


Freddy: Yeah, otherwise I’d have a moment’s peace to myself.

Bill: Cup of Joe…Winchell’s assorted dozen. (Sets the stuff down on the ground, then Bill stands there, fidgeting while Freddy tries to figure out what to say) Where’s the dwarf with the dangling arm?

Freddy: He’s in our shared bathroom.

Bill: I’m here on orders from my bird.

Freddy: (Looking at Bill incredulously) If you’re waiting for me to ask you what you’re talking about, plan on falling over dead before I do.

Bill: (Sitting down beside Freddy) My bird Zippy conveyed to me, despite the obvious dissimilarities between us, we become friends.

Freddy: He used the word “dissimilarities”?

Bill: He conveyed. He conveyed, I never said he spoke.

Freddy: Oh…

Bill: Not that what else he can do, he couldn’t speak if he wanted to, and do knitting to keep himself busy.

Freddy: Maybe he conveyed to make friends with a different Freddy, your telepathic bird.

Bill: You think that, you degenerate nitwit. Or is there a room of Freddys somewhere’s around here? (We see a car pulling up and parking near them) Is that a Mustang pull in here? (We see there’s a beautiful woman behind the wheel)

Freddy: Yeah, the make of the car is what I’m paying attention to. (They both stand up, she gets out of the car and walks over to them. We see she is indeed beautiful)

Woman: I’m looking for Butchie Yost?

Freddy: I’m him, if he don’t owe you money.

Bill: He’s not him. Butchie’s not here. (She sighs, looks around)

Freddy: You uh, care to leave a message? (She looks at him for a bit, rolls her eyes and walks back to the car. Freddy speaks out of her hearing) On my face? With your ass?

Bill: Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ! (Car starts) What my bird was thinking to dispatch me to you, I haven’t the vaguest goddamn idea. (They sit down and watch her drive away. Freddy reaches and picks up a cup of the coffee Bill brought. They look at each other for a bit)

Freddy: I got a lizard back home, changes shapes.

Bill: Chameleons, they call them.


(We see them sitting silently in the night, fade to black)


Click for music from the credits.

John From Cincinnati

Episode 5


Click for the trailer


(Open in Cass’ hotel room, close-up of Cass in bed as she awakens and looks around. She looks over to John’s “sleeping area” to see him lying on his back on the floor, wide awake and staring at the ceiling.)


(Cut to Mitch and Cissy in bed at the Yost house. Mitch is awake, the phone rings and awakens Cissy. Cissy has to crawl over Mitch to answer the phone. As she does this, he speaks.)


Mitch: Ya know, I’d wanna tell you some things if you’d want to listen.

Cissy: (into the phone) Hello. (After a moment she bolts upright and yells into the phone) Stop! Shut up! Whatever you want, you’re not getting it. Wherever you are, fucking stay there and leave us alone! (She hangs up the phone as we hear a car engine start outside. Cissy gets up and grabs her cigs)

Mitch: No, come on, Cissy, don’t. Come on! (We hear the car outside squealing tires, Cissy looks out a window)

Cissy: Is she here? Is she here! (She runs out to the kitchen and out the door to look.)

Mitch: (Following her) What’s going on? (Cissy is just in time to see Tina peel away in her Mustang)

Cissy: 14 years late.

Shaun: (has just joined them in the kitchen) Who just peeled out of here?

Cissy: (frantic, rushing past) Shaun, get dressed. You’re going to work with me today.

Shaun: I’m supposed to surf with Sammy.

Cissy: Come on, get dressed.

Mitch: Do what your grandmother says, Shaun. (he follows Cissy back to the bedroom) You want to tell me that the hell is happening?

Cissy: What’s happening is the beachside bombshell has decided she could make more off of Shaun than in porn.

Mitch: That was Tina on the phone?

Cissy: Yeah. And in the guiney-red Mustang outside. If she thinks she is getting him away from me, she’s taken one too many money shots. (Shaun is back in the kitchen) Put those shoes on, Shaun, we’re getting out of here.

Shaun: I wanna have some cereal.

Cissy: Come on, let’s go. (She rushes him out the door)


(Cut to Cass’ room, we see John standing outside the bathroom door as we hear the toilet flushing. He’s listening at the door and looking around. There’s a mirror on the door, he catches his reflection in it and seems startled. Cass opens the door and bangs into John.)


Cass: See, John that freaks me out. You standing there, just staring. Do listen to me when I’m in there?

John: I listen to you. (Waving to the room) Work here Cass.

Cass: Here in my hotel room, that I have no money to pay for? (She waves her arms, John is behind her, imitating her) I will happily work, John, if you explain to me what you mean.

John: Work here.

Cass: Here … in my work area? With your towels on my barrier? (She grabs a towel and wraps it around her head like a turban.) Huh? How’s this, John, you like this look? (Makes a funny noise)

John: Fuckin towel heads are gonna get themselves eradicated.

Cass: I’m broke, John. OK? I am not averse to work, I believe in it. I believe in paying my debts. I’ll be paying on my student loans when I’m on social security. Also, like everyone else, I have issues around money. It’s probably a hold-over from my childhood when my Pop, he’d leave for work and then 3 days later we’d get a call asking to wire him bus fare home … from Las Vegas. In summary, John, I am no longer able to trade on my sex and I need to make some money.

John: You need your camera, Cass.

Cass: It’s safe, John, in the trunk of my car. (she holds up her car keys. John holds out his hand to her) Unless Linc’s had it repossessed. (She takes his hand and they start for the door)


(Cut to Bill’s house, he’s seated next to Zippy’s cage and has a surprised look on his face)


Bill: (Turning to Zippy and pointing at the bird. Repeating in ever-increasing volume) Listen to me. Listen to me! LISTEN TO ME!! Do not confuse … my admitting a mistake, like a gentleman, with a check made out to you to subsequently go berserk. (Pause, Zippy squawks and jumps around a little) Yes! I got along with the Hawaiian, Zippy. 26 years in law enforcement, I am able to coexist with shitheels. The subject you raise now, concerns a different kettle of fish. And for all we know, he may be a fish, this John. “I got my fish-eye on you!” (We hear thunder in the background, there’s a pause and Zippy squawks ) So this isn’t an even handed back and forth. This is me on the receiving end of you … delivering unalterable instructions. Then we can save time and argumentation. (gets up) Scuse me, while I take a piss. If you have an objection, I’m sure you can convey it silently - once I get my stream going … and thereby shut that down too! Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ!


(Cut to Freddy and Palaka who are standing in their motel room door, watching it rain)


Palaka: This’ll pass in a heartbeat.

Freddy: You don’t wanna go bandying that shit about.

Palaka: Whataya mean?

Freddy: Just ask the girl – Marie – on bandying about my , uh, sleep talk.

Palaka: Sleep talk?

Freddy: Yeah. She’s got 5 or 6 resting places on the big island. Dig her up and ask.

Palaka: The other night, I heard you talkin’ in your sleep, right? “Is 2 days off a crime? Do I never get to fuckin’ relax?”

Freddy: When are you gonna take the pictures of your wrist?

Palaka: Oh, uh … you know, I’m hesitant. You know? Physicians, they toss it off. “Get yourself an X-ray,” like “next light go left.” Cause they never hit no bumps on life’s highway, right boss? Fellas like us, information ball gets rolling, next thing you know we’re dead in an avalanche – wants, warrants, failures to appear.

Freddy: Just remember what I said. That other thing.

Palaka: Believe me, it’s recorded. In here. “You wanna wind up like Marie?” Five pieces?”


(Cut to a smokey bar as the bartender is carrying in some cases. Apparently, the VFW hall bar. We see Joe enter as the bartender is working)


Joe: I’m not pulling out, this time. It ends today, Earnie… (Joe pulls aside his jacket to reveal a sidearm. Earnie the bartender looks at the gun and keeps working) In this place.

Earnie: I can give ya a soda or a clamato, Joe. But I can’t, uh, serve you liquor at all, not as long as you’re holding that gun.

Joe: Why would you want to make my story the punch line of your practical joke? Why Earnie?

Earnie: I didn’t, Joe.

Joe: He knew I was behind – with my boot off, squeezing puss out of where that punji stick went through my foot.

Earnie: Who did?

Joe: This guy you put out there to make me think he was wounded so bad, and pretend I brought him back.

Earnie: Uh, I never repeated your story to anyone, Joe. Um, I don’t believe you ever told us.

Joe: You. I told you.

Earnie: I don’t believe so. (In the bar, we see some guy with a toy hand that flips the “bird” and says: “Go fuck yourself”. He’s showing it around the bar)

Earnie: Would you take that outside?

Guy: This isn’t funny? (Toy: Ass licker!)

Earnie: Yeah, well make it funny over at the “No-Name”. (Toy: Fuckin’ idiot!)

Joe: I always cared more about my feet than I should have.

Earnie: Well, an infantry man’s feet are as important as his weapon.

Joe: I couldn’t help … Charlie C, or… Pencilhead, Slowdump. None of ‘em.

Earnie: I’ll bet my daughter’s eyes you did everything you could.

Joe: (sobbing) Oh, god, forgive me.

Earnie: (nodding to the gun) You want me to hold that?

Joe: I’m not gonna use it. I guess … however him I found knew, you didn’t tell him.

Earnie: No.

Joe: I should’ve told ya.


(Cut to the surf shop, as Cissy and Shaun arrive. She slams the door and locks it.)


Cissy: Where’s fucking Kai?

Shaun: I don’t know.

Cissy: Jesus Christ! Alright, you stay in the store. You keep the doors locked!

Shaun: Who was it outside of the house?

Cissy: You do not open the door for anybody. (frantic)

Shaun: Reporters?

Cissy: Just don’t open the goddamned door unless it’s Kai.

Shaun: What if they try to get in?

Cissy: Did you hear what I said, Shaun? Do you understand me!?

Shaun: I’m never gonna get to surf anymore.

Cissy: Well that should be the worst of our problems! (She jumps to grab her keys from the counter, Shaun jumps back in fear. She realizes that she is scaring him) Have I … ever hit you.

Shaun: No.

Cissy: If I hit you, you’ll know it. (She walks out)


(Cut to Linc, walking in a garden area or entrance of his hotel. We see Tina getting out of her car and making an exchange with the valet. She walks around to where Linc is standing, next to a sculpture of an man seated on a bench.)


Linc: He stopped to check the time. Gang-bangers messed up his briefcase. (looking down at the sculpture, we see it has been defaced with graffiti. We see John and Cass walking out of the hotel lobby)

Cass: Do you like your new clothes from the giftshop?

John: I like my new clothes.

Cass: Do you think they bought themselves? (They walk out the lobby door and Cass sees Linc) Oh, fuck.

Linc: (to John) So, did you get your end near the lady, my brother?

John: I got my end near the lady, my brother. I boned her and broke her jaw.

Linc: Damn, I’ll have to give her a combat bonus. (Tina is taking all this in as Cass and John walk away)

Tina: Does she work for you? (There seems to be a prostitution sub-text going on here)

Linc: Are you working?

(Cut to John and Cass as they wait for the valet to bring her car around)

John: Linc’s going to have to give you a combat bonus, Cass.


Cass: Oh yeah? (Car arrives.) Well Linc can take his combat bonus and shove it up his ass. (The valet holds open her door and “helps” her into the car. John waits for the valet to do the same for him and mimics Cass getting into the car)


(Cut to the exterior of Kai’s trailer as Cissy arrives and starts pounding on the side of the trailer, screaming hysterically)


Cissy: Kai!! Get – to – the – shop! (We see Kai and Butchie in bed inside, being wakened by the screaming)

Kai: I’m sorry about yesterday! Me and Butchie went looking for John. (She and Butchie are getting dressed quickly)

Cissy: (screaming) Shut up, and get down there and keep an eye on Shaun!

Kai: Where should I pick him up?

Cissy: He’s there now! (Still banging on the side of the trailer) Lock the door behind you! Don’t let anybody in! That porno slut who made Shaun with my scumbag son and left him on my doorstep – for me to raise – is back in I.B. Don’t let anybody in. She might have hired a lawyer to serve papers! I’m going home so that if she comes back I will be there to put a bullet in her heart!

Kai: (Whispering to Butchie) I’ll see you later.

Butchie: Unbelievable fucking Tina, that loser bitch.

Kai: Hey Butchie, the less you say now, the less you have to take back. (she leaves)


(Cut to Linc’s hotel room, as he and Tina walk in)


Linc: You work here a lot?

Tina: Every 15 years.

Linc: (sighs) I’ll tell you something fucked up.

Tina: It’ll cost you an extra $500.

Linc: I’m having a little trouble breathing. (holding his chest) Having pain in my chest.

Tina: Have you got heart problems?

Linc: Not that I know about. Fuck. (goes to sit down)


(Cut to the pier. We see Joe fishing over the railing)


Joe: (talking to himself) I put frat boy into my truck … he took my hand to his belly … and said I could help. If I wasn’t wasted, or it wasn’t a joke … I did! He took my hand to his belly … and he healed. (a fish grabs his line. Joe chuckles) What do you think about that?


(Cut to Mitch’s “fort” as Cissy enters abruptly. Mitch is seated on the floor meditating)


Mitch: What happened?

Cissy: He only hit the papers yesterday. There’s no way she was keeping track of him before that, till there was something in it for her. So she does not know we have a shop – the porn queen. So that is where I left him.

Mitch: With Kai…

Cissy: I got her out of the trailer to go to the shop to keep Shaun company. (Cissy is still frantic) Now let that bitch come back here. (She’s fumbling for her cigs)

Mitch: Do not smoke, in here, Cissy.

Cissy: Jesus Christ! (Throws her cigs on the floor, Mitch picks them up)

Mitch: I levitated.

Cissy: (sighs) What?

Mitch: Listen … it wasn’t a hallucination, it was like we, like we thought when we talked before. Me being up in the air?

Cissy: So what about the fascinating infected sinus theory?

Mitch: Cissy, the levitation was witnessed.

Cissy: (mocking him) And what did the witness say, Mitch? “Whatever?”

Mitch: (resigned) Forget it.

Cissy: Well, thanks for the Ok on that. Let’s see how long it takes me. (Snaps her finger) There! Done!.

Mitch: You know, if - if you’d let me finish … I was gonna suggest that maybe there’s some connection…

Cissy: You’re a jerk. Instead of floating, I wish you could fly 500 miles an hour into a fucking brick wall! (She reaches to grab her cigs from him)

Mitch: You know what? Not in here.

Cissy: Give me my fucking cigarettes! (grabs them away from him) That whore…is coming for Shaun!

Mitch: That doesn’t give you the right to poison me.
Get out then. Get the fuck out or I will poison you.

Mitch: OK, go smoke in the house. You’ll see me walking down the driveway.

Cissy: No, you get out.

Mitch: Cissy, I’m just gonna be a minute. (Pauses) I’m gonna pray for you. (She leaves)


(Cut to the surf shop. Shaun is watching surf videos and smoking pot from a pop-can pipe. Kai enters)


Kai: Jeeze, I wonder who’s smoking reefer. Shaun, are you trying to get the place shut down?

Shaun: Who’s gonna catch me? Gram said don’t let anyone in. (Kai takes the pipe from him and throws it in the trash, then sits in front of him and takes his hands) Can we get out of here? Go to Blacks or something? I can hide in the back of the car until we get out of town.

Kai: No, not right now.

Shaun: Why?

Kai: I’m no good at putting shit into words Shaunie. Sometimes it takes sticking around and give things a chance to work out. We’re gonna open for business, and you’re gonna hang here and not give me any grief.


(Cut to Linc’s room again, Tina is watching Linc as he is sitting)


Tina: Better?

Linc: Yeah … yeah .. a little better, but .. oh fuck me. Feel how wet my forehead is. (She does, then heads to the bathroom) What are you doing?

Tina: I’m wetting a washcloth. (She does this, then brings it back and lays it on his forehead.) How do you feel?

Linc: Uh, better .. definitely better. Breaks my heart, but uh, gonna have to pass on the sex.

Tina: We don’t give refunds. You want me to leave you a Midol?

Linc: No, I’m good. What’s your name?

Tina: Tina Blake.

Linc: Really?

Tina: I’m supposed to believe you didn’t know?

Linc: Honest to god… I never let myself watch porn. Otherwise I’d never do anything else. I feel like I’m meeting Babe Ruth.

Tina: Did he fuck a lot of people once?

Linc: I’m Linc Stark.

Tina: I feel like I’m meeting Babe Ruth.


(Cut to Cissy in her kitchen, looking out the window. She’s watching Mitch’s fort. She picks up the phone and dials.)


Cissy: Yeah, just to let you know, whereever you’re being useless at the moment. That piece of trash your son came out of is back in I.B. (She spies Mitch coming out of his fort, he has a bag packed and in his hand. She watches him walk out to his car) I hope you’re fucking happy. (She watches Mitch get in the car and drive away)


(Cut to a large street bazaar with a very large crowd. Tents and booths line the street for blocks. We see John and Cass working their way through the crowd. There is an assortment of demonstrators holding signs, and street performers scattered through the crowd. Cass and John are watching the various performers and street-vendors. Cass has her video camera and is recording various people. )


(Cut to Linc’s hotel room again, Tina and he are sitting and talking)


Tina: Did he rag on me all the time? Turn me into a dart board?

Linc: I never heard him say your name.

Tina: Cause he loved me so much.

Linc: Knowing Butchie, that probably would be why.

Tina: Bullshit.

Linc: Bullshit? 10 people in a room, Butchie talks to 9 of them … who does he want to meet?

Tina: When we were knowing each other, he’d less ignore you than knock you into the wall by accident 4 or 5 times.

Linc: Did you want to call him Shaun? (she nods yes) We’d come off tour and Butchie would go to Mitch and Cissy’s house, threatening to burn that place down because they wouldn’t call him that. And those first couple of years, he didn’t care about anything. I mean I think that’s why he started going aerial , he just didn’t. And when he saw they were taking points away, of course … he just made it his fucking thing.

Tina: I thought “Shaun” sounded like the waves when they’re going back out.

Linc: And you come back to see how your boy grew up. (She nods yes) Being that his dad and I don’t talk any more, it’s probably best you don’t tell Butchie we saw each other.

Tina: I don’t know yet if Butchie’s talking to me.

Linc: Anything else I can do to help? (She pauses, then nods “yes”)


(Cut back to the street bazaar. We see Cass filming the activity and fiddling with her camera)


Cass: Focus. (We see an image in her display of John dancing with a group of people)


(Cut to Butchie’s room at the Snug Harbor. Butchie is alone when there is a knock on the door. He opens it to see Tina)


Butchie: What do you want?

Tina: Not bad, how have you been?

Butchie: Oh, you wanna play nice? You left our baby on my parents doorstep.

Tina: We didn’t have a doorstep, remember Butchie?

Butchie: He was two hours old!

Tina: Or a bed, or food in the refrigerator. And of course no one knew where you were.

Butchie: I had … passport problems.

Tina: I wanna see Shaun.

Butchie: Yeah, he’s in all the papers and you remember you’re his mother?

Tina: (tearful) I never forgot I was his mother. (We see the tears are working on Butchie, he opens the door for her to come in)

Butchie: Turn off the fuckin’ faucet, Tina. Give me a fuckin’ break. (She walks in and takes a good look around)

Tina: So you know what I do?


Butchie: Everybody … at the same time while every dipshit on the internet whips his skippy watching.

Tina: And you’re president of the I.B. morality brigade.

Butchie: Yeah, I know what you do.

Tina: I’d like to stop. I’d like to be his mom.

Butchie: (laughs) Ain’t gonna happen Tina. Cissy’s a pretty good hater.

Tina: I suppose you putting a good word in is out of the question?

Butchie: Uh, me coming out against you would probably improve your chances.

Tina: I don’t know what I’m doing.

Butchie: Well, I never let that slow me up.

Tina: I don’t know what I thought was gonna happen. Tell her I’m gonna see him – once anyway. Tell her not to stop me.

Butchie: Or what, you gonna set yourself on fire? (Pause) All right, OK. You know my mom. I’ll suggest it.

Tina: Thank you. (As she moves to the door, she brushes against him, then leaves)


(Cut back to the street bazaar, Cass is now filming some masked wrestling. John is watching the match with interest as the wrestlers toss each other around the ring. We see John playing around with 2 clowns, then he jumps into the wrestling ring.)


Cass: John … John don’t do that! (We hear the announcer say “Look, a new “Eco-warrior””. John does the “run across the ring and bounce off the ropes” thing, then runs over and hugs one of the wrestlers. The bell rings and next we see John standing between the 2 wrestlers and holding up their hands as if they both won.)


(Cut to Cissy, still in her kitchen smoking cigs. Butchie knocks and walks in.)


Butchie: Is Shaunie still in lockdown?

Cissy: Who wants to know?

Butchie: She wants to meet her son.

Cissy: Her son? And you come to me?

Butchie: She’s quitting … the business.

Cissy: It’s the business now? Smiling at the camera while six guys come on your face?

Butchie: Look, you can supervise or have her sign something. But just one visit and she’s gone.

Cissy: It’s not your fucking business. It’s not your business, and if it were your business, tell me what good could possible come out of letting him meet her?

Butchie: Hey, I am the president for life of the Tina Blake can go fuck herself club, OK? I think she might do something stupid.

Cissy: ‘Cause everything up to now’s been high math.

Butchie: No I mean she might off herself.

Cissy: That gives her a right to my grandson? Because she’s thinking about killing herself? Who doesn’t think about killing herself? Who doesn’t think about it every day of her fucking life?

Butchie: Hey … just drop it.

Cissy: Huh, I thought you were an idiot before you started shooting dope, but you were a 12-year old genius compared to the stupid fuck you are now. As much acid as I took, I was never as stupid as you.

Butchie: I’m outta here. (walks out the door)

Cissy: Tell her if she comes anywhere near Shaun she won’t have to kill herself, I’ll do it for her.

(Cissy slams the door, then goes back to her bedroom where she rummages through the closet, finally coming up with a shoe-box. She takes the box out to the kitchen and opens it to reveal a revolver tucked inside a sock. She takes out the gun, looks around then puts it back into the box.)


(Cut to the street outside the surf shop. We see Shaun standing next to Kai’s jeep. Kai exits the shop and walks over)


Kai: Well there’s another day of sensational business.

Shaun: Is it my mom, gram’s all pissed about. I won’t say you told.

Kai: Will you give me a break?

Shaun: Was it her this morning outside the house?

Kai: I’m not saying it wasn’t, alright? You keep that to yourself and don’t ask me anything else.

Shaun: Why’d my mom come back? Was it to see me?

Kai: Probably see you … probably see your dad.

Shaun: (turning to get in the jeep) Come on, get in. I’ll stick around and give things a chance to work out.


(Cut to a café interior as Tina walks in. She walks back and sits in a booth across from Butchie)


Tina: Tell your cunt mother, if it’s ‘cause I’m no good, that’s one thing. But if it’s ‘cause I left Shaunie at the door, I didn’t leave him ‘cause I didn’t care. I stopped an hour before and I didn’t leave him ‘cause when I rang the bell and waited across the street, nobody answered. And I came back and got him and sat with him in the cab. And when she came home, I came and rang again. And I didn’t walk back to the cab till I saw she’d got him. I waited across the street, I waited till she came out and picked him up in his blanket.

Butchie: OK, Tina.

Tina: You tell her I cared about him. If Shaunie’d been with me, I’d have had to stay high to fuck. I’d have been used up in six months. I’d have been tricking for nickels outside the bus station.

Butchie: OK

Tina: He’d have wound up dead, or in an orphanage. Ask her who I was supposed to leave him with. Was I supposed to mail him to your dumpster in Cabo?

Butchie: Sorry.

Tina: You tell her that’s fucked. If it’s ‘cause she thinks I didn’t care. All the problems you had with her, as big a ball-buster as you talk about her being, I knew with her he’d have someone paying attention to him.


Butchie: Yeah, mom was never shy with the attention. Problem was getting her out of your fuckin’ face. (Tina gets up to leave)

Tina: Would you tell him he grew up handsome? I was proud he won his event.

Butchie: (Standing up) Come on … tell him yourself. (He turns to walk out and she follows him)


(Cut to an evening shot from the pier, looking over at the row of hotels on the beach. Then cut to the interior of Cass’ room as she unpacks her camera bag)


Cass: What a day! What a great day, huh John? Got to meet some Hare Krishnas, hang out with some “Eco-Warriors”, you got to dance in your first little drum circle.

John: (Walking over and placing his hand against her cheek) Work here, Cass.

Cass: So what I’m thinking, in terms of getting this wonderful work seen by as many eyes as we can, is you know, maybe … maybe I should get back in touch with Linc Stark. (John is following her around the room with his hand on her cheek) I mean, if I had to eat a little crow and go back to work on some other project to access, you know, Linc’s experience and the structure of his organization, it’d be for the sake of this great work we’re doing. You know what I mean?

John: I know what you mean.

Cass: (pacing about the room still, with John following) Or, as an alternative, John, you could take your hand off my cheek, and go up in the air like I saw Mitch Yost do in this very room. (pause) I know that there’s something going on. And I don’t doubt that you’re in the middle of it, John. But the thing …you know what , the thing is, is that I am still a girl … from Hibbing Minnesota. I still grew up hungry and I still wanna have a say what part I play in the Christmas pageant. (She takes his hand from her cheek, and places it on her breast) Show me that I have a little pull. Go up in the air for “Cass-Kai”.

John: The camera’s up in the air.

Cass: Get your hands off me. It’s in the camera?

John: It’s in the camera. (He places his hand over his heart) Work here, Cass.

Cass: (Turns and walks back to her desk) OK, OK, hmmm, here we go. (laughing, she picks up the camera and puts it back into the bag.) Abracadabra. Transforming my work area … into your sleep area. (takes John by the hand and leads him over there) I’m gonna find it in the camera tomorrow. (She walks over to the bed) Look John, a leap of faith, huh? (She jumps up and leaps onto the bed)

John: Abracadabra.


(Cut to Cissy, sitting at her kitchen table, smoking a cig. We also see Shaun laying in his bed, awake. Cut to the street outside the Yost house, we see Tina and Butchie sitting in her Mustang. Back inside, we see Cissy fidgeting in her chair. She has the shoebox with the gun inside sitting on the floor between her feet. Outside again at the mustang: )


Butchie: Let’s hang out all night and steal their morning paper. (We see Kai walking up the street toward the Yost house. She spots Tina and Butchie, she looks upset, then turns and walks back the other way) You saved their life, Tina … giving her Shaunie. Man, things were so fucked up back then. Dad was hurt. They weren’t that long back from the islands. I know a lot of shit went down over there, I think. Maybe stepping out on each other. A lot of acid.

Tina: Even after you were done stealing from their stash?

Butchie: That was a nature project for school. It was coming apart at the seams for my mom, what I’m trying to say.

Tina: Sure wasn’t doing you any good. The second she’d lay eyes on you she’d start screaming.

Butchie: Well, maybe it’s because she laid eyes on you. It wasn’t a burden you put on her. You know, getting Shaunie to hold was a gift. And she held on real tight a long fuckin’ time.


(Cut to Kai, climbing over the Yost back fence. Cissy hears this and is alarmed. She grabs the gun out of it’s box and goes over to the window. Looking around, she sees Kai, then stashes the gun in a hanging vegetable basket with some onions. She opens the door to Kai.)


Cissy: Get inside. Tonight is the wrong night to be creeping around.

Kai: She’s outside.

Cissy: What? (We see Shaun in his bed, listening)

Kai: Like every other thing you can’t hide him from.


(Back out in the Mustang)

Butchie: Now let’s go ask real nice if you can go peek on how good he turned out.


Cissy: How do you know she’s out there?

Kai: She’s with Butchie. I saw them.

Cissy: They send you in here?

Kai: I saw them, Cissy. I went around back so they wouldn’t see me.

Cissy: To tell me to let her in? And him? So they can fuck up Shaunie like everything else? (She looks out the window to see Tina and Butchie walking to the door.) Oh, my god, oh my god. Shoot me then. Take that gun and shoot me if you want her to see him. (Kai looks over at the gun, She grabs the gun)

Kai: You sit down, Cissy. You sit down at that table. Light yourself a cigarette.

(Knock on the door. Kai goes over and opens the door, she can’t look Butchie in the face. Butchie and Tina come in and stand by the door, holding hands)

Butchie: She only wants to look at him, mom …then she’ll go. (What follows next would best be described as a tense silence. Cissy moves her chair to the side to let them pass.)

Cissy: He’s sleeping. Do not wake him up.


(Butchie leads Tina back to Shaun’s room and opens the door. Tina looks in at Shaun, who has his eyes closed. She turns and closes the door, and we see Shaun’s eyes pop open. As they walk back through the kitchen, Tina looks away from Cissy and says “Thank You”. They leave, and Butchie walks her to her car. She gets in and he shuts her door, walking away with a wave. Back inside, Kai is also leaving)

Cissy: Hey where are you going with my gun?

Kai: Out of your fucking house. (She leaves, putting the gun in a back pocket, and sees Butchie standing in the driveway. He nods to her and starts to walk towards Kai, but she waves him away and heads to the back fence as we see the mustang drive off. Butchie turns and starts off down the street walking, alone.)


(Cut to the Snug Harbor, we see Freddy and Palaka sitting in the parking lot)


Freddy: Whattaya see?

Palaka: The stars. Eh…. (looks over at Freddy, not sure what to say) …uh, clouds. Of course, lower down. Partial moon. Plane going who-knows-where.

Freddy: A bloodbath.

Palaka: (He thinks that Freddy means the plane. He starts sort of half-singing) Destination bloodbath. Plane goes who-knows-where. All aboard!

Freddy: Prepare for war, my brother.

Palaka: (Still doesn’t get it) Prepare for war! All aboard! Plane going who-knows-where! All aboard! (Freddy just stares at Palaka for a while, till Palaka shuts up.)

Freddy: I’m giving Hawaii to Moana.

Palaka: Wow. Wow. (He finally gets it) Oh – whoa….wow.

Freddy: He’s gonna think I mean to kill him. Come try to kill me. (They sit quietly for a bit, then Palaka sees Butchie walking to his room)

Palaka: Butchie.

Freddy: He don’t look dopesick.

Palaka: Dopesick, he ain’t using, what I overheard under the half-pipe.

Freddie: Think maybe he’s copping somewhere’s else?

Palaka; I put it out there, no harm no foul. You’ve got a special history with him, we just wanna be notified.


(Cut to Cass as she enters her trailer. She mopes around a bit, then leans back against a counter and feels the gun in her pocket. She takes it out, cocks it and aims at the boom-box by her bed. She fires, knocking the boom-box over and it starts playing the CD of music that she and Butchie were listening to last night. )


Kai: Fuck you.


(Cut to the hotel bar, we see Linc sitting at the bar, drinking. Tina walks in and sits next to him)


Linc: Hey. (The bartender walks over and looks at Tina)

Tina: (Apparently used to getting the bum’s rush in bars) We know each other.

Bartender: I was wondering what you wanted to drink?

Tina: A cosmopolitan.

Linc: Did you get to see Shaun? (She nods, yes) Any casualties? (She shakes her head no) How do you feel?

Tina: Like now I’ve gotta leave town.

Linc: It’s nighttime, for christ’s sake. It’s bad luck to leave town at night.

Tina: (She gets up and puts money on the bar) For the drink.

Linc: I pay. (To the bartender) You speak Spanish?

Bartender: No.

Linc: Hmmm, I … am mucho hombre and we’ll do our drinking in the room. (He slaps a stack of $100 bills on the bar)

Bartender: Thanks.

Linc: (Taking Tina by the arm) Keep me in the game.


(Fade to black)


John From Cincinnati

Episode 6


Click for the trailer


(Open is Cass’s hotel room, Cass is alone. She is running the video that she shot the day before. She is nervous, fidgeting and pacing about the room. Finally she turns off the video, then starts pacing the room some more. She smokes a cigarette, then starts looking for munchies. She pulls some junk food from the fridge, and some mini-bottles of booze. More pacing, drinking and eating follows. We leave her on the bed with a candy bar)


(Cut to the Yost house, Cissy is on the phone in the kitchen)


Cissy: Oh, I guess I’m a stick in the mud. Just ‘cause every degenerate in America jerks off to his mother’s videos, and she only showed up to make money off of Shaunie being in the papers, (We see Shaun in his bedroom, listening to her,) why would I think she couldn’t help him through his teen years? (We hear a door close in the background) Well, I hope it’s pumping at Salsa Puedes, Mitch. I hope you catch some real soul-searchers. (She hangs up, and we see Shaun entering the kitchen.) Good morning.

Shaun: You didn’t have to shout about her, Gram.

Cissy: Did I wake you up?

Shaun: I knew already. (He slams a DVD case down on the kitchen table, she picks it up and we see it’s one of Tina’s porn videos. Shaun goes out the door)

Cissy: Where did you get this? (She runs out the door after Shaun.) Shaunie!! (He’s heading down the driveway with his skateboard)

Shaun: You hurt my feelings, Gram, You did. (She watches him as he skateboards away down the street)


(Cut to Linc’s hotel room as he is counting out a stack of $100 bills for Tina and tosses it on the nightstand)


Linc: There’s an extra grand for telling me how it was.

Tina: You think you might have had a good time?

Linc: That’s it, I think I might have.

Tina: You fucked me cross-eyed. I never took a cock that big, and you handle it like a champ.

Linc: (Laughing) My god, the perfect woman.

Tina: (pauses) Do better than you did with Butchie.

Linc: With Shaun? I don’t think I’ll get the chance.

Tina: You sure you want to?

Linc: Stick around. Help me think.

Tina: Yeah, that’s what I’m good at. (She gets up to leave, pauses and looks at the money on the nightstand and walks past it.) I had a good time. (leaves).


(Cut to Joe’s “compound” in the bush. We see someone under a sort of a blanket tent, and hear a lighter flicking. Smoke is rolling out from under the blanket and we hear someone inhaling. John’s voice comes from the background)


John: Don’t be afraid, Joe. (Joe gasps and throws the blanket back. Smokes billows out as Joe scrambles and grabs his sidearm, then points it in the direction of the voice. We see John approaching through the bush with arms outstretched.)

Joe: That’s a good way to get another fatal injury there, frat boy. (stands and holsters his gun) How did you get through the wire? How did you find this place? Look, I got close on to 500 plants less than a week from harvest, within 100 yards from here and I, uh, it makes me fuckin’ nervous.

John: Justice must be served, Joe. The vato must get his due.

Joe: The one that stabbed you? Well, if there ever was a crime that cried to heaven for redress, it’d be getting gutted and left in a ditch.

John: The police should be involved.

Joe: Well, as far as that, I uh, I flinch from it in principal.(Joe picks up a hunting knife and looks at it)

John: You saw enough of that shit over there. Bill should be involved, Joe.

Joe: Bill Jacks?

John: “I got my eye on you!”

Joe: Him and me served around the same time.

John: Different units, Bill’s good people.

Joe: I don’t care how much you say, that I’m thinkin’ frat boy, I’m still not givin’ up herb. (John mimics taking a hit from a joint. Joe gets up and motions John to follow him to his van)


John: Zippy told Bill we’d be over.


(Cut to the surf shop as Kai is stocking a shelf. Cissy walks in)


Kai: Hey. No fire trucks headed to your house last night, I figured that had to be a plus.

Cissy: Did he stop here?

Kai: Shaunie?

Cissy: Who else would I be asking about?

Kai: No. Is he surfing?

Cissy: He took his skateboard. He didn’t take his wetsuit.

Kai: Well I wonder if maybe he’s skating?

Cissy: Could you go see?

Kai: You busy Cissy? Time for your ball-buster booster shot?

Cissy: Will you go look for him or not?

Kai: I guess I probably will. Is he gonna hit me with a brick when I find him?

Cissy: He loves you.

Kai: Did you talk to him after I left?

Cissy: He was asleep.

Kai: Well did you tell him this morning she was there?

Cissy: He heard me say some things about her on the phone to Mitch.

Kai: Was one of them that Tina had been to the house the night before to see Shaunie?

Cissy: He heard me say she made dirty movies, and he storms out of the house.

Kai: He knows she makes dirty movies, Cissy. That idiot friend of his gave him one.

Cissy: Well he is barred from the store.

Kai: Are you sure he didn’t hear you say Tina’d been there?

Cissy: I didn’t say she’d been there, Kai. Which of those piss-pots gave him her fuck film?

Kai: Are you sure he was asleep the night before?

Cissy: What are you talking about?

Kai: What I’m talking about is if he knew Tina came to see him, and he didn’t get to look at her, maybe that’s why he’s upset.

Cissy: Well maybe if you’d go and fuckin’ ask him, we’d know.

Kai: Didya happen to hear from Butchie?

Cissy: No. Big surprise. Why?

Kai: For my website. Me and the Yosts, information I don’t give a fuck about. (getting ready to leave)

Cissy: You ask Shaun what he wants. Does he want to see her? Is that what he’s such a little jerk about?

Kai: How can anyone help you Cissy, when you won’t see what’s right in front of you?

Cissy: Which is what?

Kai: Which is, who ever you don’t drive away runs away on his own. (she leaves)


(Cut to Bill’s house. Joe and John are seated on the couch as Bill approaches them with a tray of tea. We hear the birds squawking)


Joe: How do you stand the constant cheeping?

John: Every one hatched in this home.

Bill: (surprised at John) Be aware if you speak in that voice again I will break every bone in your body.

Joe: What’s you policy on guests smoking herb?

Bill: Not permitted. And your smart-assed friend here with his Charlie McCarthy imitations skates on very, very, very thin ice...

Joe: How about in the back year?

Bill: …which I’m liable as not to pound his head through, with my fist, and hold him, gagging and thrashing beneath the surface of, till he drowns.

Joe: (nodding) The ice.

John: (sipping his tea and speaking in a soft voice) Chamomile, Billy, wonderful.

Bill: He’s imitating my wife, who has passed! Oh for Christ’s sake! (Bill is sobbing, very upset.)

Joe: What the hell are we doing here? (Zippy squawks)

Bill: Go ahead, Zip, you’re the big cruise director. Entertain them while I get back my composure.

John: (Still in the soft voice) This young man, who’s had his eye on you, wants the vato who gutted him to face arrest.

Bill: Oh god, are you OK honey? A-a-are you in discomfort?

John: No

Bill: Is he lying to me, to his own purposes?

John: No Billy.

Bill: (sobbong) Oh, for Christ’s sake. (pauses) Get out of here, both of you.

Joe: (to John) Come on. (they start to leave)

Bill: I’ll do what you want. Just let me get my composure.


(Cut to Cass’ hotel room, she is lying on her bed)


Cass: Where is my food? Where is my food! (There’s a knock at the door, Cass gets up) Come in! (Room service guy wheels in a big tray stacked with plates of food, Cass directs him where to put it. She signs for the food) Thank you! (As she starts to eat, she’s looking over at her computer and camera) Oh, that looks good.(Turning to the camera) Fucking drum circle. (she starts clanging a fork against a steel plate cover and dancing around the room)


(Cut to the Snug Harbor. We see Palaka in the empty pool, brushing the walls. Ramon is sweeping the pool deck. Next we see Dickstein and Butchie laying out a shuffleboard court with stakes and strings next to the pool. Then cut to Freddy outside his room with his cellphone, then back to Butchie and Dickstein)


Dickstein: If…. If those strings are not drawn taut, Butchie, there may as well be no strings.

Butchie: Watch me tighten these babies, Meyer. (Dickstein is not happy with Butchie’s work)

Dickstein: No, no, no, I’ll do it. Tha-thanks for the offer. You might want to wait for the painting phase.

Butchie: Paint, I huff.

Dickstein: Then that wouldn’t be a good phase either.

(Cut back to Freddy, who is hanging up his phone)

Freddy: Motherfucker. (He turns to watch Butchie and Dickstein as Barry approaches with a hanging flower bowl in each hand)

Barry: How are you today?

Freddy: What?

Barry: How are you? A morning pleasantry.

Freddy: How would you be, drowning in lowlifes?

Barry: I’m sure I’d be gasping for air. (He suddenly hands Freddy one of the flower bowls) For your room. (Barry walks away)

Freddy: Hawaii, I’m saying, I was talking on the phone.


Barry: Oh yes. (As Barry turns away again, Freddy drops the flower bowl on the sidewalk)

Freddy: (To himself) Don’t ask if you don’t wanna know.

(We see Dr Smith riding his bike up to Butchie and Dickstein)

Butchie: Hey doc!

Smith: Hey. How’s your friend feeling?

Butchie: John? Well, he’s got his balls in that blonde girl’s chin, so if he’s not doing good, shame on him!

Smith: And your boy?

Butchie: Boy’s doing good as far as I know.

Smith: There’s lots of quick healers in this zip code.

Butchie: Oh yeah! (Smith wheels over towards Palaka and Ramon)

Palaka: (Still has his wrist duct-taped) Doctors! Patient’s in critical pain… “Call Monday. I’m playing golf.”

Ramon: Yeah, I don’t know what you’re talking about. (Smith approaches)

Smith: How you feeling?

Palaka: Good, fine, thanks for asking. You giving me a small surprise, doc.

Smith: (nodding to Palaka’s wrist) What do the x-rays show?

Palaka: My x-rays? What’d they show?

Smith: Yeah.

Palaka: Everything’s good, you know. Healing up good, like gangbusters you know? Thanks for asking, very much. Appreciate that.

Smith: Which bones did it turn out were broken?

Palaka: What?

Smith: Which bones in your wrist? Which of your metacarpals?

Palaka: Oh, most, if not all.

Smith: But they decided not to cast it?

Palaka: Well, you know how they are.

Smith: My sense would be you should have a cast on that.

Palaka: Yeah well, chocolate-vanilla, doc, right? You know? You had your chance, and then you didn’t, so…

Smith: The textbook approach would be not to cast a patient before an x-ray.

Palaka: Yeah well, push comes to shove, fuck all of ya.

Ramon: Whoa, whoa!

Palaka: Ya know….won’t let a sleeping dog lie!

Butchie: Take it easy, Palaka! (Freddy hears this and comes over)

Freddy: What’s going on? You starting trouble?

Palaka: Never mind, never mind! An acquaintance sustains a fracture, provides his boss entree to ask after a stranger’s condition….

Ramon: Maybe you should get out of the sun now.

Palaka: (Kicking things around in the pool) Yeah, you and me we could both contract fatal fucking dysentery before anybody gives a first flying fuck!

Freddy: Hey!

Palaka: Excuse me, I got to clean the “4”.

(We hear a car roaring into the lot, and see Cissy in her Mazda come screeching in and skidding up to the motel. Butchie sees her and goes over towards her)


Butchie: (to Dickstein) Hold my string. (as he and Cissy are walking towards each other, Barry is back with more hanging plants.)

Barry: In some situations, “You moron piece of shit.” May be heard as a blessed solicitude.

Butchie: What?

Barry: Hello, Mrs. Yost.

Cissy: Ya, hello. I need to talk to Butchie.

Butchie: You two know each other?

Barry: I’m sure your mother doesn’t remember me.

Cissy: Ya, sorry.

Barry: But she expressed what I took for a kindness, a number of years ago.

Cissy: (to Butchie) Can we talk please? (Butchie motions her to his room)

Butchie: He’s probably confusing you with someone else. (They pick their way through the stakes and strings)

Dickstein: (nodding to Cissy) Cissy.

Barry: One mother’s rebuke of her son, even if vile and obscene, may be taken as kindness by another whose mother is not at hand.

(Back at the pool)

Smith: Why don’t we go take some pictures of your wrist, and then I can put a cast on after.

Palaka: Thanks, but no thank you. I’ll take care of it my birthday after next.

Smith: Well… (turns to walk away)

Freddy: Hey, hey, wait! (to Palaka) Look at me, I’m talking to you. Apologize to him!

Palaka: I’m scrubbing the pool tile.

Smith: No apology is necessary.

Freddy: (to Smith) You shut up. (now to Palaka) I jump down there, you’ll be scrubbing your own brains off those tiles.

Palaka: Well I definitely better climb out then huh? Who better than the source of my fracture to force me to give up enjoying myself?

Smith: Forcing treatment on a person isn’t my idea of good practice.


Freddy: No one asked for your ideas. Just take him to get his wrist fixed, or you’re liable to need treatment yourself.

Smith: Your speech pattern inclines toward the megalomaniacal.

Freddy: I also grind my fuckin’ teeth at night. But I’m not your fuckin’ patient.

Smith: (to Palaka) I’m happy to take you if you want to go.

Freddy: (pulls out his keys) Here, drive my car. Unless you wanna ride on his handle bars.

Smith: Just follow me.

Palaka: I’m gonna follow a bicycle?

Smith: It’s not far.


(Cut to the interior of Butchie’s room)


Cissy: I want Tina to see Shaun.

Butchie: Which one of us was high last night, ma? (laughing)

Cissy: I was not fuckin’ high last night!

Butchie: I’m just saying, unless I was loaded, Tina saw him.

Cissy: And I’m saying …

Butchie: You mean with his eyes open? Is that what you’re saying?

Cissy: I fucked up this morning. I said things. I – I mean, I said the truth. I was talking to your asshole father on the phone and Shaunie heard me talk about her.

Butchie: He was listening in on the call?

Cissy: Oh, you fucking moron.

Butchie: Well, I guess you were yelling.

Cissy: I hurt his feelings. He walked out, I hurt him so bad.

Butchie: How bad was what you said?

Cissy: That she was a whore, porn queen piece of shit.

Butchie: Oh. He is 13, ma. And Tina’s tapes get around. You know, there’s half a chance that it wasn’t fresh news.

Cissy: He already had one of her tapes.

Butchie: There you go!

Cissy: He didn’t even open it, you moron! It was still in it’s wrapper. I only came to ask you to get in touch with her.

Butchie: She left I.B., ma. I asked if she was staying last night.

Cissy: What business did you have asking if she was staying?

Butchie: I don’t know.

Cissy: I’ll never see him again.

Butchie: Come on…

Cissy: You didn’t see his face.

Butchie: You want me to go looking for him?

Cissy: I asked Kai.

Butchie: Yeah that’s … that’s good. I have her number – Tina. You want me to try her on the phone?

Cissy: Isn’t that what the fuck I came to ask you? (She leaves abruptly. As she is making her way back through the stakes and strings outside, she says: ) What is this bullshit? (We see Dickstein and Barry standing and watching her leave)

Dickstein: I’m afraid of my fiancée. (Cissy races her engine and peels out of the lot)


(Cut to Tina, driving in her car, she is tearful, wiping her eyes. She pulls up to a stop light and a guy in a pickup truck pulls along side her. He looks over and recognizes her)


Guy: Hey Tina!. How’s your ass? Got all your tapes! Came to most of ‘em. (She looks away as he drives off)


(Cut to Butchie in his room as he talks to himself, pacing around his room)


Butchie: I am gonna get high. I’ve been fuckin’ high in my life. Higher than any other fuckin’ asshole I know!. (He’s dialing his cellphone, it’s ringing) And I am gonna get twice as high as I have ever been.


(Cut to Joe’s van, sitting in the bush. We can see the US/Mexico border fence in the distance. Joe, Bill and John are sitting in the van, listening to the radio as Joe is looking around with binoculars)


Radio: Do you avoid having guests in your home? Do you make excuses to them when you know you’re ashamed of your flooring?

John: Are you ashamed of your flooring?

Bill: I would like to know our motive, and our specific purpose and I will not directly ask a moron.

John: I would like to know our motive!

Bill: Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ!

Joe: I found him stabbed near this road. And vato was in his vocabulary.

Bill: He doesn’t have a vocabulary. He’s a human parrot.

John: I’m a human parrot!

Joe: And being a human parrot, and him now saying “vato”, the more likely we’re in the right neighborhood.

John: “Fried brain pothead!”

Bill: My fucking fibromyalgia is in upheaval!

John: Justice must be served.

Joe: Quiet, John.

Bill: I’ll give him justice with my two bare hands! Justice…on the border with Mexico.

Joe: I think we may all need a spliff. (reaches for a joint)

Bill: Well on that I take no position.

John: I’ll carpet four rooms in your house.

Bill: Would you at least turn the radio off? (Joe turns it off)


(Cut back to Tina’s car as her phone rings)


Tina: Hello?

Butchie: (agitated, pacing around his room) Where the fuck have you been?

Tina: My cellphone just rang.

Butchie: Oh did it just ring, you fucking cunt, I’ve been calling you for the past 20 minutes!

Tina: It just rang, Butchie!

Butchie: Did it just ring, or were you sucking some nigger’s prick?

(She hangs up the phone and slams it down. Butchie paces for a moment, then re-dials)

Butchie: (mumbling to himself) Yeah, don’t answer it. Don’t answer, I will find you wherever you are and I will cut your fucking cunt out of your body. (Tina picks up)

Tina: I’m not going to listen to that shit, Butchie.

Butchie: Don’t … don’t fucking hang up on me, Tina. Alright, don’t you fucking hang up. All right, just let me try to figure out what the fuck I’m trying to do here. OK, listen to me. Listen to me. I apologize. All right, listen to me. Shaunie needs to see you. Or, Cissy wants you to see Shaunie.

Tina: I can’t come back, Butchie.

Butchie: What? You gotta go suck some nigger’s prick? Don’t – don’t hang up! Don’t, don’t hang up! Fuck. Listen to me. Shaunie’s feelings are hurt, OK? He’s upset.

Tina: About what?

Butchie: His feelings are hurt, OK, he’s lost. She doesn’t know where he is.

Tina: That I came to see him?

Butchie: No, no, he wants to see you.

Tina: What’s he upset about?

Butchie: Jesus Christ! What the fuck do I know? Huh? What the fuck do I know about it? I can’t even get fuckin’ high here.

Tina: Are you high, Butchie?

Butchie: Fuck you! Al right, fuck you! Why don’t you go mind your own fucking business and go suck some nigger’s prick.

Tina: I’m coming back there. Don’t get high Butchie, Don’t let Shaun get hurt.

Butchie: What the fuck do I care? (He hangs up and throws the phone. He’s crying) Oh, fuck!


(Cut to Kai’s trailer. We see Cissy enter and start searching around the trailer. She looks in cabinets, then checks around and under the mattress. Finally she finds her gun, picks it up and leaves.)


(Cut to Joe’s van. We see them still sitting there, Joe is scanning the land with his binoculars, John is imitating Joe. Joe spies someone walking through the brush with a back-pack.)


Joe: There’s someone down in that bush. (He hands Bill the binoculars and points to the place) How’s that reefer treating you?

Bill: Believe me, I’ve smoked more reefer than Carter made little liver pills. (Hands the binoculars to John) Confirm the sighting, trooper.

John: I’ll confirm it, trooper. (He takes the binoculars and looks over at Joe with them. Bill re-directs him to the man in the bush)

Bill: See that guy there?

John: I see that guy.

Bill: Did he stab you, yes or no.

Joe: You know what that’s gonna make him say.

John: He stabbed me, yes or no.

Bill: This could end in fisticuffs.

(John suddenly puts down the binoculars and looks concerned)

John: Better she tries to kill me and fails than tries to kill herself. (John’s head falls to the side and he’s unconscious)

Bill: Unconscious.


(Cut to Cissy in her kitchen at the Yost house. She’s studying the revolver. Suddenly she looks out the window to see John standing there looking at her. She grabs the gun)


John: Cissy Yost!

Cissy: What?

John: Are you sitting in your kitchen on 7th street, thinking of blowing off your head with your gun you got back from Kai’s trailer? Have you completely run out of whatever let you put up with your asshole husband for 31 years…do you feel that everything you ever touched in your entire life, you turned to shit and mud? Are you ashamed, Cissy, that once when Mitch was on one of his bullshit retreats and you were loaded on acid and Butchie was 13 and he’s just won his first contest and you were so proud of him for not being Mitch, and you went into his room and he was whipping his skippy, then you said: “Let me show you how to do that.” (John starts motioning the “jerk-off” motion. Sissy gasps in shock, then freezes for a moment. She looks back at John and he starts the jerk-off motion again. Cissy grabs the gun and points it at him, then pulls the trigger several times. The gun is empty) Have you wanted to kill yourself every day since, Cissy? And not even known it? And turned yourself into the worst ball-buster known to man, so no one would be with you, and you wouldn’t have to be afraid that you’d ever do something like that again. That’s how ashamed of yourself you were? (Cissy breaks down and sobs) Do you think now Shaun, who you loved so much and tried to make a life for, now you turned around and hurt his feelings so bad? (sobbing, she shakes her head yes) Do you hurt so bad, you want it to just quit and be over? Everything? (She’s nodding yes) Well, let me tell you about our offer, Cissy. We prefer you don’t. We wish you wouldn’t. Our offer is: keep going, feeling just as miserable, or worse. Hold the gun under the spigot and turn the water on. Spare Shaun finding you dead in the kitchen. And as a bonus, you’ll also receive … his love. Act now, Cissy. Baptize that fucking pistol! (She takes the gun and holds it under the running tap. As she looks up again, John has vanished)


(Cut to a café. We see Dickstein sitting and eating with his fiancée, Daphne. )


Dickstein: Instead of catering to a walk-in trade, I’d be attorney to a single client.

Daphne: A homosexual psychopath.

Dickstein: “Psychopath” is harsh.

Daphne: Lottery winners or not, Meyer. Men who hire their attorneys at gunpoint are psychopaths.

Dickstein: The salary he’s offered, exceeds by $12,000 my income in any calendar year since graduation.

Daphne: Well what if his relatives try to have him committed?

Dickstein: I don’t think he has any living relatives. And, I would contest that motion. (A guy who has been in the background during this scene, sitting at a computer, suddenly bursts out: )

Dwayne: Ah!

Jerri: What now, asshole?

Dwayne: I rent this station for $6 an hour…

Daphne: Isn’t this pleasant?

Dwayne: …in order to access and maintain my website, not spend 45 minutes out of every hour scanning for viruses with outdated software.

Jerri: Here’s an idea then Dwayne, I’ll reimburse you $4.50, you take it and buy rat poison. You bring it here to me, and I’ll mix it with your wheatgrass.

Dwayne: My Yost website got 10,000 hits last night. It – it’s from Butchie’s son, but the overflow for Butchie could be huge. (We see that Dwayne is looking at )

Jerri: Imagine if he still surfed?

Dwayne: That’s Butchie’s lawyer filing for bankruptcy.

Jerri: (whispering) He must also do criminal work.

Dwayne: You know what? Just go away, OK? Just go away please. (She goes behind Dwayne and pulls her tank top over his head and face) Are you done? Any time you’re ready.

Daphne: I want to meet him, this Barry. I want to meet all of them. Your new friends.

Dickstein: All right. Um … fine. (They get up to leave, Dickstein leaves cash on the table)

Jerri: (to Dwayne) $5 tip! He’ll get a migraine later. (She wets her finger and sticks it in Dwayne's ear)

Dwayne: I asked you not to do that.


(Cut to the Snug Harbor. We see Ramon and Barry by the pool, Ramon is raking. In the background we see Butchie talking on the phone)


Butchie: You’re asking me to go back to her empty-handed Kai.

Ramon: (to Barry) You know, raking is very relaxing. You wanna feel? (hands rake to Barry)

Barry: Of course. Hmm. Doesn’t the Yost boy skate as well as surf?

Ramon: It’s how he gets around on land.

Barry: Suppose we were to not fill the pool?

Ramon: Tell me now before I go for the hose.

Barry: Hmmm

Ramon: OK, that’s good. (takes the rake away from Barry)

Butchie: Kai, I call Tina, “what time are you getting here” Tina says: “What time is Shaunie getting to Cissy’s?” And I say “Oh, Shaunie? Well Kai can’t even get Shaunie out of the fucking bowl to ask Shaunie if he’ll fuckin’ go to Cissy’s.”

Barry: Young Henry Kissinger.

Butchie: Jesus Christ! If Shaunie’s in the bowl, he can’t hear what you’re saying to me Kai. (Cut to the skate bowl where Kai is watching Shaun) So why are you whispering to me so I can’t hear what you’re saying?

Kai: I said, I’m not getting Shaunie in the car, Butchie, without telling him where I’m taking him.

Butchie: Who told you not to tell him where you’re taking him?

Kai: I’m not taking him to Cissy’s until I know Tina’s gonna meet him there!

Butchie: Tell him Tina’s gonna meet him!

Kai: And Cissy said she’s gonna host the lunch?

Butchie: Look, if Cissy says she want’s Tina to see Shaunie, why wouldn’t she want her to see him in her own fucking house Kai, now….(We see Freddy peeking out from his room at the goings on) I – I don’t wanna ask her to host a lunch until I know that Shaun’s in the car with you!

Kai: I better not get in that house, Butchie, and have Cissy freak out in front of Shaun again, ‘cause then he’ll never want to fucking go back there.

Butchie: Thank you. Thank you very much. (He hangs up) Oh god. I gotta get fuckin’ high!

(We hear a saxophone blaring from across the parking lot. It’s Freddy, by his room, playing his rendition of “My Favorite Things”. He plays a little fanfare then stops)

Freddy: That’s how I relax! All right?

Ramon: Was he tuning up or was that a tune?

Barry: Rogers and Hammerstein. Not their best phase.


(Cut back to the skate bowl where Shaun is working out on his skateboard)


Kai: Shaunie!…Shaun! (He skates over to her) Your Gram sent me. She feels bad. She wants to know if you wanna see your mom.

Shaun: At my Gram’s?

Kai: Yeah, at your Gram’s Shaunie. Your Gram’s the one trying to make it happen.

Shaun: She hurts everyone’s feelings.

Kai: Your Gram’s your Gram, Shaunie. And hurry up and decide, I got work to do at the U.N.

Shaun: I don’t want to see her at my Gram’s. (Turns around and starts skating again)

Kai: Shaunie!! (he skates back over) Who financed your video, Shaunie, with her own money? And who got you in that contest? And who’s been there for you every fucking minute of your life? (He skates around for a bit, then skates around to meet her. They walk off toward her Jeep.)


(Cut to Snug Harbor. Butchie is outside and watches Tina drive into the lot)


Butchie: Whoa! (We see Ramon and Barry taking turns at the rake) Hey! Calling my mom.

Tina: Where’s Shaun?

Butchie: Kai’s taking him to my mom’s. Uh…thanks for coming back.

Tina: Why is she taking him to your mom’s?

Butchie: ‘Cause that’s where you’re gonna see him. (Cissy picks up her phone)

Cissy: Hey Butchie.

Tina: Why does it have to be at her house?

Butchie: Hey, mom? Hold on for a second. (To Tina) ‘Cause that’s where it’s gonna be.

Tina: You said you wanted me to see Shaun, Butchie. And your mother wanted me to, are you saying your mother wants to make friends with me?

Butchie: God sakes, god sakes, I don’t know what I’m saying! Just let me talk to my mother! (to Cissy) Yeah, mom, Tina’s here and she wants to know if you can host a lunch for her and Shaun.

Cissy: What? She asked you to ask me that?

Butchie: Yeah, she’s here right now with me.

Cissy: I’m not fucking talking to her.

Butchie: No … I mean, yeah. She’s taking a piss. But she is here and she’s ready to come over.

Cissy: What does that mean, she wants me to host a lunch?

Butchie: What do I know? Just lay out some tuna fish or whatever the fuck you do.

Cissy: She’s got some balls.

Butchie: Yeah. What do I know? Anyways, is that the message?

Cissy: What?

Butchie: That you wanna have her over for lunch!

Cissy: I’m not hosting any fucking lunch, Butchie. I’ll leave the fuckin’ stuff.

Butchie: Sure, leave it out. She’ll appreciate it. You know, you got a previous fuckin’ commitment. (Hangs up) (to Tina) Yeah, that’s fine.


(Cut to the Yost house. We see Shaun in his room as Tina and Cissy are talking in the kitchen)


Tina: How does he like his tuna fish?

Cissy: With salt …and pepper. Pickles and lemon juice. Two tablespoons of mayo … is how I make it. (Cissy heads for the door.) I don’t know how he likes it. I never asked him. (She leaves Tina alone in the kitchen and goes outside)


(Cut to Kai entering her trailer. She seems to notice that something is amiss, and immediately goes to look for the gun under her mattress. It’s not there, she grabs her keys and leaves again)


(Cut back to the Yost house. We see Cissy is sitting in Mitch’s fort, smoking a cig. Next we see Shaun in the kitchen, he’s watching Tina fixing the tuna salad. They are silent. Outside on the street, we see Butchie pacing up and down the sidewalk. Cissy creeps out of the fort and down the stairs, trying to see what’s going on in the house. As she does this, Butchie is creeping up the driveway, also trying to see inside the house. Finally they spot each other, and Cissy hurries back up the stairs as Butchie hurries back out to the street. Kai pulls up in her Jeep next to Butchie.)


Butchie: Hey!

Kai: Your mom’s got a gun.

Butchie: Yeah, my dad’s always in the tree house. She’s afraid of burglars.

Kai: Before you and Tina came over last night, she had that gun out, Butchie. I took it away from her, but then I just found out she went to my trailer and got it back. It’s alright about the gun, I unloaded it. But I don’t know if it’s alright that she wanted to go and get it.

Butchie: Well I don’t think she’s gonna hurt herself. She just looked at me in the eye like she had centuries of ball-busting left in her.

Kai: (looks over at Tina’s car) You driving Tina?

Butchie: Yeah. What did I do with my chauffeur’s cap? I walked down to see how things were going, ‘cause I’m 2 fuckin’ blocks away. Give me a ride back, I’m exhausted. (They get in the jeep and leave)


(Cut to Snug Harbor. We see Freddy loitering outside his room. Palaka drives up in Freddy’s car and gets out with a new cast on his arm. Next we see Dickstein and Daphne at the shuffleboard diggings, she is sitting in a lawn chair watching Dickstein. )


Daphne: This is so much fun!

Dickstein: I explained it to you before, I made a commitment.

Daphne: No, I’m just saying, this is so much fun. I’m so glad we reconciled.

(Palaka comes up to them, brandishing his new cast)

Palaka: Hello. Hello. Hi, pleasure, yeah. Just returned from the clinic, Dickstein. Yeah, it’s not my idea of fun, but, here I am!

Dickstein: Daphne, my fiancée.

Daphne: Hello.

Palaka: Pleasure. Yeah, it’s not something I’d want to do every day, medical treatment, but you know it’s also something not to be afraid of … if …. Excuse me, excuse me. (We see Dr Smith riding in on his bike. ) There’s the assassin! There’s the murdering cutthroat who treated me! And the prison torturer from the Abu Ghraib prison. (We see Ramon and Barry bring out fixings for a barbeque)

Smith: Any changes?

Palaka: Oh, uh, well … it’s achy. You know, throbs, somewhat … somewhat. Little bit … uh…it’s fine. (Smith looks at the arm, looks at Palaka and then Freddy, then rides silently away)

Dickstein: (to Daphne) Physician.

Daphne: Oh, we should bring his mother and your mother here so they can both “shep naches”.

Palaka: (with Freddy now) Do my cast the first honor, please? (Hands Freddy a Sharpie, Freddy writes something on the cast. Palaka looks at it and laughs.) That’s funny, it’s very good. Right.

Freddy: I played my saxophone before.

Palaka: Oh, jeez. You all done? Did you pack it back up?

Freddy: Maybe.


(Cut to the Yost kitchen. Tina is still working on the tuna salad as Shaun watches from a distance)


Shaun: So …so you think you’ll be here a while?

Tina: I’m not sure. (more silence as Tina brings the bowl over to the table)

Shaun: Should we make one for my Gram?

Tina: Sure. (She starts making sandwich)


(Cut to Snug Harbor. Ramon is manning a barbeque with assist from Barry)


Ramon: Hot dogs, hamburgers, potato chips. Hot dogs hamburgers, seconds will be available. Who’s hungry? (All the denizens of the motel are loitering about and drifting toward the grill. We see John appear at the shuffleboard diggings. Nobody appears to see John, or hear him)

John: If my words are yours, can you hear my father? Can Bill know my father, keeping his eye on me? Can I bone Kai, and Butchie know my father instead?

(We see Butchie and Kai arriving. John walks over to room 24 and goes inside. We see John come out of room 24 carrying a very dead guy in a suit. He sits the dead guy down behind Butchie and Kai. None of the folks are seeing this)


John: My father’s shy doing his business. Kai helps my father dump out. Bill takes a shot. Shaunie is much improved. Joe is a doubting Thomas. Joe will save not Aleman. Joe will bring his buddies home. This is how Freddy relaxes. Cup of joe and Winchell’s variety dozen. Mitch catches a good wave. Mitch wipes out. Mitch wipes out Cissy. Cissy shows Butchie how to do that. Cissy wipes Butchie out. Butchie hurts Barry’s head. Mr Rollins comes in Barry’s face. My father runs the mega millions. (As John speaks, we see all the people milling about, but nobody appears to hear John or see him.)


(Cut to the bush, we see Joe’s van at sunset. John is still passed out as Joe and Bill are keeping watch)


(Cut to Cass’ hotel room. John enters without knocking)


Cass: Boy, we got some … we got some interesting footage, John. Yeah, really got some great ideas on what we could do with that.

John: I need your camera, Cass.

Cass: (holding up her keys) Safe in the trunk of my car, John. (He takes her hand and leads her out of the room. Note that her video camera is in fact sitting on the computer desk)


(Cut to Linc on the street, he’s looking in a surf-shop window. We see a “Stinkweed” sign in the window. Reflected in the window, we see John approach from behind. Linc does not appear to be seeing John)


John: Time to get back in the game, Linc Stark. (Linc does not seem to have heard anything. He turns and starts to walk off. We see him reflected in the window as he turns back again. We can also see Cass in her Porsche on the street behind Linc, she is alone in the car. Cass starts the car and drives off.)


(Cut to Snug Harbor. Night time, everyone is eating their burgers and dogs. John is there again, though nobody seems aware of his “presence”.)



Fur is big.

Mud is big.

The stick is big.

The word is big.

Fire is huge.

The wheel is huge.

The line and circle are big.

On the wall, the line and circle are huge.

On the wall, the man at the wall makes a man from the circle and line.

The man at the wall makes a word on the wall, from the circle and line.

The word on the wall is my father.


(Cass and Linc have appeared at the motel. Cass seems to be the only person who is aware of John’s presence and his speech. John approaches Cass and touches her on the cheek. Then he leads her to the carousel horse and leaves her there. She watches him)


John: The zeros and ones make the word in Cass’ camera.

In the word on the wall that hears my father in Cass’ camera, the good one Mitch catches doesn’t wipe Cissy out.


(Dr Smith seems to be aware that something is going on. He appears to be watching Cass as she watches John.)


John: In the word that hears my father, Cissy shows Butchie something else.

In my father’s word, Cissy shows Butchie and Shaun.

In my father’s word, Tina raises Shaun at lunch.

In Cass’ camera, Butchie lays the cord out for Barry, and Mr Rollins watches, and he doesn’t come on Barry’s face.

In Cass’ camera, Butchie knows Kai has kept the faith.

In my father’s word, the wave lifts them up.


(John now draws the “monad symbol” in the dirt with his foot. We see Bill has “arrived” and is getting out of his truck. Palaka is coming out of Freddy’s room, and is yawning. He carries Freddy’s sax in his arms)


Palaka: I think you overcame a milestone in stride. Next thing it’s 4 hours later and you’ve been napping. Unrecognized stress. (Hands the sax to Freddy)


John: In Cass’ camera, Bill doesn’t bump his head on the stairs. (Bill’s spiral stair has appeared in the parking lot, he walks over to it.)

Bill: I cannot do this. (He starts to climb the stairs.) I can not do this. I am skating on very thin ice.

John: In Cass’ camera, as long as he’s being stupid, Bill gives Lois a kiss.


(Freddy has walked over to Bill’s stairs, he seems to be the only person who can see Bill. When Bill gets to the top of the stair, he pulls out a harmonica as Freddy starts to play his sax. Bill starts playing blues riffs on the harmonica.)


John: In his word in Cass’ camera, the internet is big. 9-11 is big, but not every towelhead is eradicated.

In his word, we are coming 9-11-14.

In my father’s word, Bill sees how Freddy relaxes.

In Cass’s camera, Ramon wants to know who’s hungry, in the courtyard and room 45.

In my father’s word to come in Cass’ camera, Dr. Smith calls ocean properties.

(We see that the computer guy from the café has appeared. Also Joe and the thug who stabbed John have appeared. Bill and Freddy are making music together)


John: In Cass’s camera to come, my father stares not Aleman down, and Freddy sees Bill much improved.

You will not note my father’s word, nor remember Cass’ camera, but you will not forget what we did here.


(We see an image of the entire Yost family, including Tina and Kai, positioned in front of Butchie’s room with the dead Mr Rollins sitting in the middle. Next we see each of the barbecue attendees, in turn, looking around as though they’re not sure what is going on.)


Freddy: (to Palaka) And you’re even uglier than Abraham Lincoln.

Palaka: Which happens he’s got the same birthday as mine. February 12th, 1964.

Freddy: Yeah. 100 years after his murder.

Palaka: Both of us.

Barry: (to himself) We should make these cook-outs a fixture.

Butchie: (to Kai) Wanna go look for the space commander?

(We see everyone leaving)


(Cut to Joe’s van in the dark. All 3 of them are sleeping as John awakens. )


John: Hit the floor troopers! (Bill and Joe wake up)

Bill: Judas Priest! The fucking sun’s gone down.

John: The sun does not go down, Bill.

Bill: Genius on science too.

John: My father is a genius on science, the sun does not go down.

Joe: You won’t get an argument from me.

John: Judas Priest is a genius on science. Judas Priest is my father’s son too.

Bill: I swear to Christ, I’ve been playing my harp.

John: Bill won’t note nor long remember playing his fucking harp, Joe.

Bill: Isn’t that the strangest thing?

John: My father’s birthday is the same as mine.

Joe: (pause) Well … this was time well spent. (starts the van).


(Fade to black as we hear “My Favorite Things” by John Coltrane)


Click for the music from the credits



John From Cincinnati
Episode 7


Click for the trailer


(Open at the beach as Butchie is surfing alone. We see him attempt several aerial jumps and wipe out. We also see Kai watching him from a distance. After trying several times, Butchie makes a couple of jumps, each slightly better. Kai gets up and leaves after watching this. Butchie takes a couple more waves, then walks out of the water)


(Cut to Cass’ room. She is sleeping in bed as John sits on the edge of the bed. As John talks to her, she seems to be sleeping)


John: Some day, yesterday, Cass. Yesterday was a three-ring circus. I’m going to be with my father today. My father has more big and huge for me. Without the zeros and ones, Cass, big and huge won’t mean dick. (John turns and looks at Cass, who’s eyes are still closed.)

Cass: (Touching her hand to her heart) Work here. (John gets up and leaves the room)


(Cut to Butchie’s motel room. He is exiting the bathroom wrapped in a towel. We see Dwayne standing outside the screen door, looking in at Butchie)


Butchie: Two stop bus ride, Dwayne, from lurking outside the door to fuckin’ turning into a full-blown homo.

Dwayne: Can I come in?

Butchie: No. Stay the fuck outside. (Dwayne comes in) Still brooming the spider-webs off our web site?

Dwayne: 1244 hits. 1244 hits in like, 24 hours.

Butchie: No shit! (sarcastic)

Dwayne: It’s the halo effect from Shaun.

Butchie: Far out.

Dwayne: Bottom line, I think Shaun needs his own site.

Butchie: Well he’s already on “MyTube” or whatever the fuck you call it.

Dwayne: A site, Butchie, commercial portal capacity like five years ahead of the curve I thought to put in yours, and you never fucking exploited?

Butchie: You ah, you think that’s where it all went wrong? Me not exploiting my, ah, portal capacity?

Dwayne: No, I’m not talking about you at all, Butchie. I’m just saying, if Shaun doesn’t do it, whoever sponsors him will, and he’ll end up getting used like some street whore. Does any of that sound familiar to you?

Butchie: Huh, I guess that makes sense. Well, you aughta go talk to him, and now’s a good time ‘cause Mitch is at the restoration center, or whatever the fuck he’s doing in Mexico.

Dwayne: I don’t suppose you’d like to come with me.

Butchie: Nah, I got a butt plug exploiting my portal. (pauses) What the fuck am I gonna say to him, Dwayne?

Dwayne: Yeah, OK.. In case he doesn’t understand how I talk, was all.

Butchie: Fuck, I used to work at the U.N., baby! Now I’ll have to cancel all of my many previous engagements. (They head out the door together.)

Dwayne: Yeah, I’ll have to cancel all of mine too.

Butchie: That’s right. (As they head outside, Dwayne picks up a little scooter.)

Dwayne: Where are we lookin’, I’ll meet you.

Butchie: Dwayne, Dwayne, Dwayne! Some gang-banger will hit you upside the head and I’ll have to collect you with a spoon and blotter. (He grabs Dwayne’s scooter and heads to his VW)

Dwayne: So … don’t even try to live green?

Butchie: You got it, my brother.


(Cut to the front door of an unknown house as Kai is knocking on the door. An unknown blonde woman answers the door.)


Kai: Hey, Janie. (They hug)

Janie: Good, or bad?

Kai: Good. Everything’s good.

Janie: Good enough to get his boards out of storage?

Kai: That’s why I’m here.

Janie: See that?


(Cut to a meeting room at the hotel. Linc is speaking to a group of people seated around a conference table. 6 or 8 of them)


Linc: Imperial Beach. Who’s been here before? (Silence as they all stare at Linc) A funky little beach town, a lot of history for our sport. Now … (He sees a worker preparing a buffet across the room) Oh! My friend! Spread that food around. If you, uh, see any hungry conventioneers coming through here, feed ‘em. (Back to the table) Fires, no fires.

Jake: Learning opportunities.

Linc: (sighs) Wonder-boy…E-commerce bitchfest.

Jake: Tremendous learning opportunities.

Wonder-boy: We’re rolling out those P.O.P. incentives.

Linc: Which you think is money pissed away.

Wonder-boy: A wise man once told me that core shops are Stinkweed’s soul.

Linc: Did you believe him?

Wonder-boy: We upped the incentives to 4%. Year to date, domestics nearly level, down 3/10 of a percent.

Linc: (growls)

Wonder-boy: Within the parameters of plan. International’s 14 above plan. Eastern Europe’s a minor disappointment. China’s on plan.

Jake : Stalemate on that trademark headache.

Wonder-boy: Latin America stays a pleasant surprise. The Brazilians have a boner for our shoes.

Linc: Really? (to a dark-haired woman at the table) You got a boner?

Woman: Um, let me check.

Linc: Break. (Linc heads out a side door to the outside. Jake follows him out)


(Cut to the military radio facility, we see John standing there looking at it)


(Cut back to Linc and Jake, standing in a courtyard)


Jake: They start wearing suits, or we do.

Linc: What happened in Huntington, Jake?

Jake: I thought that’s what we’d be talking in there.

Linc: I thought we would have talked about it before we went in there.

Jake: I don’t know, the fucking traffic, you know.

Linc: Shaun Yost.

Jake: At Huntington, Shaun Yost won. He wiped out and hurt himself at the end of the heat. The doctor was wrong how bad.

Linc: I was there when they brought him out of the water. He was drowned, he broke his neck!

Jake: How is he alive? A miracle? Oh, I agreed he could be the next one. All the family downside, I agreed we go after him hard. A miracle – half our base runs the other way. Do we make that up selling at shrines?

Linc: I’m here to try to figure that out.

Jake: And I’m your hire, Linc. I’m supposed to tell you when people aren’t happy.

Linc: Eh, some people never are. Tell them to go fuck themselves.

Jake: Yeah, I thought I wouldn’t do that till after they bought us out.

Linc: Let’s go deal with these clones.

Jake: (As they walk back to the door) Can I hang a couple days? Get you to Tijuana, the kid can hear our confession. (He tries the door, it’s locked. Wonder-boy opens it from the inside)

Linc: Huh, lucky coincidence. Are we happy, wonder boy, when domestic sales are level? (Woman hands Wonder-boy a plate of food)

Wonder-boy: Level is on plan for the quarter.

Linc: Wait a second, treading water is getting ready to drown. (Linc is blocking his path as he tries to move around Linc)

Wonder-boy: The salmon makes me thirsty.

Linc: Get a drink!

Wonder-boy: Level’s on plan cause domestic’s a maturing market.

Linc: And do we suppose that domestics have matured due to E-commerce?

Wonder-boy: I don’t know how you’d measure correlation.

Linc: We don’t have an “M.C. paradigm?

Wonder-boy: No.

Linc: So what’ll you do, grab your balls and guess?

Wonder-boy: Did I do something to piss you off?

Linc: Eat your buffet.

Wonder-boy: I’d like to sit down.

Linc: Go ahead.(He moves to the table) You call that sitting down?

Wonder-boy: I want to go back to the table.

Linc: This is why I hired wonder-boy. He just comes right from his fucking gut.

Jake: What are we doing here, Linc?

Linc: I’m not 100% clear, maybe you’d like to Google it and find out.

Wonder-boy: If this is a referendum on information technology, our target demographics’ for it.

Linc: Oh, so that ship has sailed? The best we can do is hope to jump onboard? Does that summarize your position?

Wonder-boy: “If you’re treading water, you’re getting ready to drown.”

Linc: (Get’s in the guy’s face) If I’m treading water, fuckface, I am not swimming toward a ship that has set sail, and begging them to pull me in their dinghy. If I got a surfboard beside me, I’m getting on that fucker and I’m paddling out, turning around and flipping the bird to all the assholes on that ship. And maybe 3% of them weren’t sure they ever wanted to be on that boat to begin with. And some of them, they’re diving off, now them … them I give them a big fucking’ smile, I ride up to them on my board and say: “ Hey, how would you like to buy one just like it. Or my jockstrap or my boardshorts, wetsuits, ski jackets, snowboards that I always take with me when I’m surfing. I am such a tremendous boardshort-wetsuit-ski-jacket-snowboard ripper.” What I’m not is a fucking asshole with allergies trapped on a boat or jerking off to the internet like 97% of my target demographic. And the upside for me is, I like being on the water. So if you’re not too salty from your salmon, maybe I can interest you in a little ham. (Linc turns around, pulls his pants down and sticks his bare butt in the guy’s face).

Wonder-boy: Give me a fuckin’ break!

Jake: OK, we’re done!

Linc: I’ll be in Imperial Beach till further notice. (Linc heads out the side door, as he walks away he says under his breath-) I’ll tell you something else, that kid was saved by a miracle.

(Back inside, Jake is talking to Wonder-boy)

Jake: What room is she in?

Wonder-boy: 244.


(Cut to the surf shop, Cissy is by herself, talking on the phone)


Cissy: Yeah, it’s your wife, Mitch? Cissy Yost? Well if you’re not dead, just a quick message to go fuck yourself for not checking in to say you’re alright, and have loads of fun … on whatever beach or whatever astral plane you’re on. (We hear the bell on the shop door, and see Palaka coming in)

Palaka: (shivering) Hi.

Cissy: Use the café across the street.

Palaka: Excuse me?

Cissy: Our toilets are for employees. Go across the street.

Palaka: My question, or my desire, was … how long has that ink store been open? ( Palaka looks very ill, sweating and shivering)

Cissy: We don’t sell bongs. We don’t sell incense or rolling papers.

Palaka: A good reputation, that Pete, hmmm? No fatalities?

Cissy: (Starting to notice that Palaka looks bad) We’re not a walk-in clinic.

Palaka: The salamander was highly valued in certain extinct island tribes. (We heard the bell and now see the hospital lawyer walking into the shop, as Palaka falls over onto the shop floor.)

Cissy: God damn it! (She rushes over to Palaka as the lawyer stands back and looks on)

Lewinsky: My name is Mark Lewinsky, I’m an attorney.

Cissy: Is this some “slip-and-fall” bullshit?

Lewinsky: Hardly madam.

Palaka: (Getting to his knees) Am I pointing at my neck? Is it painfully swollen and inflamed? We see that he has a grossly infected tattoo on the side of his neck)

Cissy: I-it’s red.

Palaka: Tattoo … a tribute to my employer … possibly … fatal.

Lewinsky: I am a counsel for Mercy Hospital. The place that saved your grandson’s life, and I just need one signature to close Shaun’s file. (He’s handing her a document)

Cissy: (taking the paper) All right, give me a pen.

Lewinsky: Certainly. Merest of formalities. Departure against medical advice. (we see Palaka panting and shivering as Cissy starts to look at Lewinsky with suspicion)

Palaka: Here I go. Here I go.

Cissy: (To Lewinsky) Take off.

Lewinsky: You won’t have to ask me twice.

Cissy: Get out. You’re giving me a bad fuckin’ feeling.

Lewinsky: Can’t we at least accomplish our little bit of wrist business here?

Cissy: Get out of my store, you’re gonna get kicked in the balls.

Lewinsky: Fine, fine. (he reaches to take back the document, Cissy grabs it away from him)

Palaka: Ma, is that you?

Cissy: (to Palaka) Shut up. (Lewinsky turns to leave)

Palaka: They sent me home, ma. Principal sent me home.

Lewinsky: (At the door) Strange way to show your appreciation, Mrs Yost, to the hospital that saved your grandson.

Cissy: Bill’s bird saved my grandson. And I’m showing this form to Meyer Dickstein.

Lewinsky: Oh yeah, the Errol Flynn look-alike on the back cover of the yellow pages.

Cissy: Oh, you sure you wanna go there, Frankenstein? (He leaves)

Palaka: (on the floor, struggling) Oh…

Cissy: You got anybody I could call?

Palaka: No I can boil my own … toast.


(Cut to Tina in her hotel room, checking herself in the mirror as there’s a knock on the door.)


Tina: Yeah? (We see it’s Jake at the door outside)

Jake: I’m a friend of Linc Stark’s. (She hesitates then opens the door to him)

Tina: And?

Jake: And I work for him. I’m vice president of his company. Jake Barris. (Long pause, then she lets him in)

Tina: What do you want from me?

Jake: Ya, Linc’s having some sort of midlife crisis.

Tina: And you’re here to help him through it?


(Cut to the street outside the surf shop as Butchie and Dwayne are trying to get in. The door’s locked, so Butchie heads around the side of the building.)


Butchie: 10:30 in the morning, no wonder they’re going broke. (He approaches a bike rental stand next door and talks to the guy inside) Hey, where is everyone?

Bike guy: She opened up, then she split with some little guy in her car. (he grabs some keys from the wall and tosses them to Butchie. They walk around to the back of the shop to find Shaun sitting on the ground smoking a joint)

Butchie: What’s going on, Shaunie?

Shaun: Nothin, the shop’s locked up.

Butchie: Put the joint out. You know Dwayne?

Shaun: How’s it going?

Dwayne: How’s it going Shaun?

Butchie: Yeah Dwayne wants to talk to you about some, uh, informational superhighway shit.

Shaun: Could we do it another time?

Butchie: Uh give us second, Dwayne.

Dwayne: We can do it another time.

Butchie: Stand by the bicycles. (Butchie kneels down next to Shaun)

Butchie: Hey, what’s the matter with talking to him now?


Shaun: I don’t feel l like it.

Butchie: Don’t give me that smart look when you’re sitting here smoking and someone wants to help you.

Shaun: That guy from Stinkweed wanted to help. You wouldn’t let me sign with him.

Butchie: The fuck if I wouldn’t. Who told you that? I haven’t seen Linc Stark since you got hurt, Shaun. It’s been a busy coupla days.

Shaun: So are you saying I can sign with him?

Butchie: Little weed on your brain, you get a real smartass tone of voice going.

Shaun: Looking over at Dwayne) That guy looks like a tool. (Butchie slaps Shaun on the back of the head.

Butchie: That’s just great Shaun, hurt a person’s feelings comes looking to help you?

Shaun: I didn’t say it so he could hear. Why don’t you just leave me alone.

Butchie: Yeah, great, fine .. OK If I see Linc Stark I’ll tell him to come sign you.

Shaun: Oh yeah, I forgot, you signed me over to Gram and Gramps. Tell him to go talk to them.

Butchie: Yeah good, let me get away. (starts to leave, then turns back) Me being a fuck-up doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try to give you good advice.


Shaun: Is my mom staying in I.B.?

Butchie: I don’t know.

Shaun: Maybe you could give her some good advice and ask her to stay. (Butchie walks away, shaking his head., He tosses the shop keys back to the bicycle guy)

Bicycle Guy: He’ll be all right.

Butchie: Yeah, looks like he’s doing great. (He and Dwayne walk back out to the street)

Butchie: That little piss pot.

Dwayne: So, what should we do now?

Butchie: Well Dwayne, I guess you’re get your dipshit scooter out of my van.

Dwayne: Yeah we can work this out later.

Butchie: And I’m gonna get good and fuckin’ high. (Starts dialing his cell phone) Where are you Kai? The shop’s locked. Shaunie’s out back smoking weed. Find a fuckin shorter jingle.  (Butchie drives off as Wayne rides his scooter away. )


(Cut to Linc in his hotel room as he’s checking him self in the mirror, there’s a knock on the door. He opens the door to see Tina)


Linc: Room service?

Tina: A really good friend of yours wants to pay me to ruin your life. (Linc motions her in and closes the door)


(Cut back to the military radio facility, we see John is still stand there looking at it)


(Cut to Cass in her room, staring at the computer screen. She’s looking at the video footage, seems frustrated, leans back and sighs and stares at the wall. She mumbles: “Doesn’t work … doesn’t work either”. She throws a pencil and goes back to working)


(Cut to Palaka in bed in his motel room, Cissy is standing over him as he is shivering.)


Palaka: Is it chilly in here ma?

Cissy: He’s burning up…(We see Freddy as he walks over to the bed and stands behind Cissy) Maybe from your hot garlic breath.

Freddy: Why don’t you get out of the line of fire?

Cissy: Well twist my fucking arm!

Palaka: B-Boss, purple salamander, honoring a certain someone.

Freddy: If yours hadn’t have come out green, I’d be having mine burned off , as to not get us took for the Bobsey Twins.

Palaka: I was poisoned and mis-colored? (Dr Smith enters the room, Barry is close behind and has his hand on Smith’s back)

Barry: Right up here.

Smith: Excuse me. (to Barry) OK, we have docked.

Palaka: Is that the torturing murderer who casted my wrist?

Smith: (Leaning over Palaka) It’s me, Palaka.

Palaka: I am fucked, doc, up to a fare-thee-well. Hey, thank god me and you became friend, huh?

Barry: What does he need, I’ll run to the pharmacy.

Smith: Let’s get him examined first. (He walks around the bed and looks at Palaka’s festering neck) When did you get that tattoo, Palaka?

Palaka: Uh, today, yeah.

Smith: (to Freddy) When did he get this?

Freddy: He told you – today.

Smith: Yeah, I’m asking when.

Cissy: He came in my store, like, an hour ago, said he just got inked.

Smith: (to Palaka) We’re gonna need to get some antibiotics into you Palaka.

Palaka: Won’t be the first time, doc. I’ve been batting clean-up since little league.

Smith: We’re gonna need more room. (Smith starts to move Palaka, Freddy jumps in to help)

Freddy: Here, come here, come on.

Barry: This wall does need to come out. (Freddy picks up Palaka and carries him to his room)

Freddy: Come on. Get out of the way. Put him in my room. (Lays Palaka on his bed)

Barry: I have an account around the corner.

Smith: CVS?

Barry: (As Smith is writing a prescription). I’m happy to get that filled.

Smith: (pauses) No, he needs an I.V. and a few other things. I want to see what they have stocked.

Freddy: You think of going anytime soon?

Smith: I understand you’re concerned. (Starts out the door)

Freddy: I’m not concerned. I’ll tell you when I’m fucking concerned!

Cissy: (To Freddy on her way out the door) Nice working with you.

Freddy: Tommy turtle’s a blur compared to that fuckhead.

Palaka: Wily Coyote’s a blur, Road Runner’s a fuckin’ blur.

Freddy: Just shut your mouth, OK? (Barry is fussing over Palaka, covering him)

Barry: You’re going to be fine.

Palaka: Thanks, m-ma.


(Cut to Bill Jacks’ living room as he is answering the door.)


Bill: Hello! Hello. Come in. (Shaun walks in) Just missed feeding time. (Shaun throws his stuff down with his back to Bill) Birdseed. Can I offer you a soda? Twinkies?

Shaun: No thanks. (Walks over to look at Zippy)

Bill: I see. Birds are good.

Shaun: (looking tearful) I wish Zippy wouldn’t have kissed me. (Shaun puts his face in his hands and sobs. Bill walks over and hugs him)

Bill: OK. Hey, OK. OK, goodness sakes. (Shaun rests his head on Bill’s shoulder. Bill gazes up the stairs)


(Cut to the diner, we see Cissy sitting at a table with Jerri the waitress. Jerri is looking over the document from the hospital)


Jerri: Oh, I can’t see. And I wouldn’t understand it anyway. What’d Mitch think?

Cissy: Mitch is maintaining radio silence.

Jerri: Fucking Dickstein will know what to do.

Cissy: Probably in some ashram in the downward dog position. (Dickstein walks in)

Dickstein: Hello. How are you? (Cissy hands him the document)

Cissy: Why would they want me to sign that? (Dickstein looks over at Jerri)

Jerri: She’s already showed it to me, fuckin’ douchebag. (Dickstein turns to get a chair to sit in)

Cissy: (to Jerri) Butchie’s fuckin’ Kai’s brains out.

Jerri: Good.

Cissy: Not that anyone ever comes in, she’s never at fucking work. Shaunie could use spending time with her.

Jerri: His buddies still teasing him after the accident?

Dickstein: (reading the document) This is, uh, boilerplate for you. The doctor’s the sacrificial lamb. Typically, the halo effect in these documents bathes the physician in the hospital’s light. This absolves the hospital, but your right of action against the doctor is not impaired.

Jerri: The hairlip’s going on and on about what he’s talking about.

Dickstein: What hairlip?

Jerri: I’ve warned him off talking about miracles until the alter boys are safe.

Dickstein: What hairlip??

Jerri: That sits there every day, Dickstein, pretending to make a life out of maintaining Butchie’s website. And he’s so excited about how Shaunie’s accident’s affected his “halo effect” or whatever the fuck he’s on about! I’m afraid to let him out on the street on that stupid scooter he fuckin’ drives.

Dickstein: The number of hits on Butchie’s site --- the halo effect.

Jerri: What the fuck was I just saying?

(A woman comes from the back of the diner, walking past Jerri and Cissy and points to each)

Doris: 43 days in arrears … 82 days in arrears for you.

Jerri: I got an arrears for you right here, Doris!

Cissy: (to Dickstein) Don’t let anything happen to that doctor.

Dickstein: That may not be in our hands.


(Cut back to the motel, as Freddy is going through Palaka’s room.)


Freddy: How do you live in here?

Palaka: Uh, thank you!

Barry: Soup to nuts renovation in the offing.

Freddy: Well you aughta off it pretty fucking soon. (looking at a roll-away bed) I’ll use this roll-away in case what you got is transferable.

Barry: I’ll bring in fresh sheets.

Freddy: Stop answering if I’m talking to him! (Barry leaves. Freddy sits down by Palaka next to the bed) Don’t you fuckin’ die.


(Cut to a hotel room, Tina is talking to Jake)


Jake: You tell me your name, where you live, and your marital status.

Tina: Tina Blake, Van Nuys, single.

Jake: Van Nuys, California.

Tina: Right.

Jake: Do you have any children, Tina?

Tina: One, Shaun Yost. I gave him away the day he was born.

Jake: And do you know who Shaun’s father was?

Tina: Yeah, I fucking know who his father is … Butchie Yost. I left Shaun with Butchie’s parents. (We see that Jake is holding up a recorder for Tina to talk into)


Jake: And what do you do for a living?

Tina: Adult film actress.

Jake: Do you know Linc Stark?

Tina: Yes.

Jake: How did you meet him?

Tina: He picked me up.

Jake: And do you have a contractual arrangement with Linc Stark involving your son, Shaun Yost?

Tina: He’s offered me a contractual arrangement.

Jake: What are the terms?

Tina: $4000 a month while Shaun’s under contract.

Jake: To Stinkweed.

Tina: Yeah.

Jake: Have you had sexual relations with Linc Stark.

Tina: I’m not gonna talk about that.

Jake: Have you ever been arrested?

Tina: Yes.

Jake: What was the charge?

Tina: Accessory to extortion.

Jake: And did that involve blackmail?

Tina: I was acquitted.

Jake: I bet that had to be a big relief.

Tina: Are we done?

Jake: Can be. (Turns off the recorder and puts it in his bag. He takes out a check and hands it to Tina) You ever do drugs with Linc?

Tina: Are you asking me to fib?

Jake: Are you asking me to write you another check?


(Cut back to Freddy’s motel room. Smith is setting up an I.V. for Palaka. )


Palaka: Al’s car is, oh, red. (Smith takes a thermometer from Palaka’s mouth and looks at it)

Freddy: I mean if he was really sick, you’d take him to the hospital, right?

Smith: I’m trying to remember how I practiced before I met you.

Freddy: Was it without a fractured skull? (Barry walks in with 2 large buckets of ice)

Barry: Some of the ice is yellow with rust from the machine.

Smith: It’s alright.

Barry: We don’t have to use it. Uh, the yellow is segregated in the silver pail.

Smith: Just dump it all in the tub. (Barry heads to the bathroom. Smith is ready to insert the I.V needle) Now… a little pin stick.

Freddy: Oh Christ. (He can’t watch and gets up)


(Cut to the military radio facility, John is still standing there in the same spot. )


(Cut to Cass’ room, she is still working on the video. Still doesn’t seem to be having any luck with it, drumming her fingers on the table, etc.)


(Cut to Freddy’s room again, as Smith is stepping out the door. As he starts to light a cigarette, Barry approaches with a large tray of small cups of orange juice)


Barry: How’s our patient?

Smith: It’s a holding action. We have to let the antibiotics kick in.

Barry: Was that all overdone about cigarettes?

Smith: No.

Barry: In any case, I now have some sense how the great Astaire felt the day he put on tap shoes. (We hear and see Butchie’s van roaring into the lot. )

Smith: Well they’re always looking for candy stripers.

(Butchie jumps out of the van. Ramon is looking over the shuffleboard diggings as Butchie walks by. Butchie pretends to be getting a phone call to avoid Ramon and rushes past to his room. We follow Butchie into his room, he takes a bag of heroin from his pocket and tosses it onto the dining table, then sits down on the sofa. Back in the lot, Ramon is walking over to Smith and Barry)

Ramon: Could I get one of those thimblefuls?

Barry: Yes, Ramon. (offering it to Smith) Orange juice?

Smith: No, thanks. (Barry looks crushed) Or, well, yes, thank you. Excuse me. (He goes back into the room)

Barry: Please, Ramon, have another. And know that I do not rise to your taunt about my cups, because I am all nurse. (Kai is driving into the lot in her Jeep, they turn to look at her. She nods at them, then walks past the shuffleboard workmen to Butchie’s room)

Ramon: Butchie’s about to get caught wrong.

Barry: Isn’t he alone in there?


(Cut to Butchie’s room as Kai knocks. Butchie checks the peephole then opens the door to her.)


Kai: Got your message – shortened my jingle. Couldn’t find Shaunie. (Butchie nods over to the table, Kai looks over)

Butchie: I copped. I didn’t use. I didn’t want to use. I think it’s off me. (They look at each other, Butchie has tears in his eyes.) Aw, give me a break. (He reaches out to her, and she takes his hand)


(Cut to Freddy’s bathroom, Palaka is laying in a tub of ice water as Smith watches over him)


Smith: Is it sound judgment, Palaka, treating you here, or fear of humiliation? (We see Freddy in the next room on the bed, listening in) Resigning my position to shield that boy. Grand self-sacrificial gesture that was one thing…

Palaka: I go weeks without selling a sherbet.

Smith: Not much grandeur for me, steering you into the E.R. like some defrocked storefront operator, waiting hat in hand for a resident to decide to admit you. I pray to god that’s not what holds me back.

Palaka: Now, now, ma.

(Out in the lot, Ramon is finishing off a thimbleful of juice as Cissy drives in. )

Ramon: Let me avoid this lady’s tone of voice. (He starts to walk off, trying to look preoccupied)

Cissy: Have you seen Meyer Dickstein?

Ramon: No ma’am. He hasn’t arrived yet.

Cissy: (Pointing to Butchie’s room) Are they fucking in there?

Ramon: Hard to say.

Barry: (Approaching Cissy with the tray of juice) What an hour has wrought. Water, sand and mud when you delivered our patient, now about to become concrete. (We see the workmen about to pour the concrete for the shuffleboard court)

Cissy: How is that guy?

Barry: Well, we are waiting for the antibiotics to kick in.

Cissy: Are they fucking in there?

Barry: The merest beginning of our renovation.

Cissy: I’m looking for Meyer Dickstein.

Barry: Yes, well, I haven’t seen him.


(Cut to Butchie’s room)


Kai: I saw you out on the water this morning.

Butchie: Yeah?

Kai: I got your boards outside. (Butchie looks at her for a minute, perplexed. His phone starts ringing)


(Cut to Bill’s house as he is calling Butchie, Shaun is there)


Bill: Every call I make, afterwards I gotta use a cuticle scissors. (We hear Butchie’s voice mail) Butchie? Message from Bill Jacks. Shaunie’s over hear with me. So you may wanna call, or just, you know, get over here. (To Shaun) Voice mail, not there. (Bill picks up a book from a table and walks over to Shaun on the sofa) Now … Here’s a book that deals with anniversaries of people who are dead. See? It has various chapters…helping the bereaved be at ease. Now what in god’s name this has to do with you … 13 years old.

Shaun: 14.

Bill: 14 years of age. And thank god you’ve lost no one to feel grief over the anniversary of. Now… I’d like to say this: People are sad for various reasons, and sometimes an outside source is required, even to help them know they feel sad. Or, if they know, then offer helpful hints, suggestions, ways to deal with the problem. Which is why I showed you the book. Can I be frank with you?

Shaun: Sure, Bill.

Bill: You reek of marijuana smoke.

Shaun: I smoked a joint today.

Bill: And you tell me that without shyness or remorse.


(Cut back to the Snug Harbor lot, Cissy and Barry)


Cissy: That doctor’s about to get an ass-fucking from his hospital. (Kai comes out of Butchie’s room, Cissy heads over to her)

Kai: Hey Cissy.

Cissy: Yeah, good to see ya! I remember when we used to meet at work. (Kai walks past her to her Jeep and starts to uncover Butchie’s boards. Cissy starts back for Barry’s station, then Butchie comes out of his room, so Cissy starts back over towards him) I feel like a duck at a shootin’ gallery.

Butchie: Hey, ma. (He walks past Cissy over to the Jeep and looks at the boards) Hid ‘em before I could sell ‘em. (Dickstein has arrived, he walks over towards the Jeep. Cissy is looking in the back of the Jeep too, noticing what’s in there. Butchie’s phone is beeping, he checks it and we hear Bill’s message.) It’s Bill. Shaun’s there. I may take a ride over there. (He and Kai get into the Jeep, Cissy is dumbstruck over Butchie having his boards back)


(Cut to Freddy’s room as he awakes on the bed. He starts and gets up to rush to Palaka, who’s still in the tub.)


(In the lot, Dickstein and Cissy)


Dickstein: Did you tell the doctor?

Cissy: No. Go ahead. (She leaves as Barry walks over)

Barry: About the ass-fucking?

(Next we see Dr Smith outside Freddy’s room on a smoke break, as Freddy exits the room with Palaka in his arms. Palaka is in nothing but his briefs)

Smith: Whoa whoa whoa…

Freddy: Don’t do nothin’ stupid, doc.

Smith: No, he needs to be in that ice bath.

Freddy: If that’s what you think he needs, then the regular doctors will ice him at the fuckin’ hospital. (Freddy is trying to get Palaka to his car, Smith is grabbing at Palaka trying to stop him)

Smith: I am a regular doctor. And these are just the several hours that your friend shouldn’t be subjected to the disruptions involved in being admitted to the hospital to resume treatment he’s already getting!

Freddy: Fuck you, open the fuckin’ door! (Smith reaches over Palaka and slaps Freddy across the face)

Palaka: (As Freddy and Smith continue to struggle over him) Ah, another county heard from.

Freddy: You’re fuckin’ lucky I got my hands full! (Freddy and Smith now each have ½ of Palaka, each holding him by an arm and a leg)

Smith: Take him back inside!

Palaka: Ah… Thanksgiving .. make a wish!

Freddy: All your smart-ass fuckin’ talk. It was me that broke his wrist.

Smith: It was a dirty needle got your friend sick, not a broken wrist. Stop trying to force an outcome cause you’re upset for your friend! (Barry rushes in with a blanket to cover Palaka)


(Cut to Bill’s house, he and Shaun are still on the sofa)


Bill: Quick review – how to put people at their ease?

Shaun: I’m good. (Knocking on the door, Bill turns and whispers to Shaun-)

Bill: Upstairs, talk amongst yourselves. Twinkies, soda and the like. (Bill walks up the stairs as Shaun answers the door)

Shaun: Hey dad.

Butchie: Hey, Shaunie. Where’s Bill?

Shaun: He went upstairs.

Butchie: Oh, right on.

Shaun: You can go sit down dad. (They sit on the sofa)

Butchie: Pretty pissed? (Shaun shakes head no) Hit me, buddy, come on.

Shaun: I want to go back to normal.

Butchie: I’m with you, brother. What’s fucked up about it is, as much as it pisses you off, the hand that you were dealt ain’t goin’ anywhere. Mine, your gram’s, gramps …

Shaun: My mom’s…

Butchie: Or your mom’s, or any-fucking-body else’s. So fighting it only gets your ass kicked. So if you can learn that now instead of 20 years from now … fuck! You know, just smack me in the back of the head. (Shaun reaches over and gently pats the back of Butchie’s head. We see Bill sitting on the top stair and watching them)

Butchie: I’ve been thinking about getting in the water.

Shaun: You’ve been going out.

Butchie: Getting in the way I used to.

Shaun: Competing?

Butchie: I don’t know. I guess, maybe. You wanna run by Gram’s and grab your stuff, trade a few, see who busts bigger?

Shaun: If you can handle being dusted.

Butchie: That’s not going to be an issue, grom. (Looking up the stairs) And thanks for the room, Bill. (We see Bill up there with his ears and eyes covered.) Shaun and I are gonna go get wet.

Bill: Fine. Good.

Shaun: Thanks Bill.

Bill: Fine.


(Cut to the pier. Jake and Linc are talking)


Jake: Stinkweed’s in great shape. You’re the fucking mess. Linc, the money wants you out. I’m your friend. You made the company, I’d like to see you go with your pockets full, but …you are going, Linc. Buy you out, throw you out, blow you out …They’ll play it the way it fuckin’ lays. (He whips out his little recorder, and we hear Tina’s voice - ) “Yeah, I fucking know who his father is – Butchie Yost. I left Shaunie with Butchie’s parents. Jake: What do you do for a living? Tina: Adult film actress. Jake: Do you know Linc Stark? Tina: Yes. Jake: How did you meet him? Tina: He picked me up. Jake: And do you have a contractual arrangement with Linc Stark involving Shaun Yost? Tina: He’s offered me a contractual arrangement. (Jake clicks it off)

Linc: She’s his mother. The company wants him.


Jake: I don’t want to have to play the rest of the tape for you, Linc.

Linc: Go ahead.

Jake: No, I’ve been your friend too long.

Linc: Maybe it’s what I need to hear. Do what you gotta do.

Jake: No Linc. I want you to leave the company so I can give you the tape. You can do whatever the fuck you want with it, and you can walk away rich.

Linc: (Linc whips out his own recorder, which Tina must have been using) Tina: Are you asking me to fib? Jake: Are you asking me to write you another check? Cause I will if you will. (Linc clicks it off) Isn’t that a felony in this state? Offering someone money to lie? What’s their number to buy me out?

Jake: (long pause, clears his throat) 35 million.

Linc: 65…

Jake: With a five-year “no-compete”… and you give me that tape.

Linc: OK. Money want the “yes” on tape?

Jake: I hope you’re not saying they don’t trust me.

Linc: Watch your back with wonder-boy. (He hands the recorder to Jake, who drops it in the water. As Linc is walking away, he meets Tina.) Pretty lady feeding the birds.

Tina: How did that go?

Linc: Turned the tables on that cocksucker, thanks to your wily ways. Then I agreed to get bought out, which is what they sent him to do. $65 million. Bonus is, I get to be scared to death.

Tina: Is that a change?

Linc: Maybe not. Maybe not. For a million, can I hold your hand? (She takes his hand)

Tina: When I strike, it’s gonna be for the big money.


(Cut to John, still at the radio facility. Now we see he has “changed” into a wetsuit. He looks down at the suit, surprised. )


(Cut to Cass’ room, as she is still staring at the computer. She looks as though she has noticed something, then turns on the sound. We hear the sound of the “drum circle”. )


(Cut to Cissy, washing dishes in her kitchen. She looks out the window to see John)


John: Cissy Yost!

Cissy: Hey! Captain Kirk. You were right about being more miserable.

John: Getting dusted won’t be an issue.

Cissy: Don’t get hit by a bus!


(Cut to Bill’s house. He is alone, reading to Zippy from the book on grieving.)


Bill: “I know I am getting better and stronger when I can be alone at home even though the person that died is no longer there.” Where else am I gonna be? “Memories of the person who died make me smile, not cry.” Well that one’s easier said than done. (Suddenly we see that John has silently appeared behind Bill.) “I laugh at my friend’s stupid jokes.” I don’t have any friends. “I make stupid jokes.” Well, I try to amuse the kid. I mean, I’m not a comedian.


(Cut to the Snug Harbor as they are all signing their initials into the fresh concrete)


Dickstein: “M.D.” … it’s not like I’m a doctor or anything.

Ramon: Dale’, veni, dale’. (Freddy is watching from a distance. Next we see Dickstein drawing the little “Monad symbol” into the concrete.)

Ramon: What’s that?

Dickstein: I don’t know.

Ramon: OK, this is for free… for nothing. (Ramon has a bugle, and he blows it badly for a bar or two. We see John behind him, and John is imitating Ramon.)

Freddy: ( Freddy seems to be able to see John, and he leans back into the room to say to Palaka - ) “Shape changer.”

Palaka: (Who seems much improved) Oh yeah? (He’s reading some popular magazine and comments - ) If they weren’t looking to embarrass the poor girl, they’d blur out where her dress came up.

Ramon: (He’s finished his little tune) Gracias, gracias. (He starts speaking Spanish to the others, maybe to the workmen who are likely his cousins. We see Smith looking over that way, perplexed, then smiling)


(Cut to Cass’ room. She appears to have reached some sort of epiphany over the video. She puts her hands to her mouth, she’s tearful. Suddenly she gets up and steps back. John has appeared behind her, and she bumps into him, turns around and looks at him. We see that John is soaking wet. Cass gives him a big hug. John looks up, then says - )

John: Shaun will soon be gone.


(Cut to the pier, Linc and Tina are looking over the beach, where Butchie and Shaun are heading to the water with their boards. )


Linc: How much is that worth? (We see those 2 walking to the water, then John “appears” from under the pier and walks over to them.) Cause the big money’s staying in escrow, for whoever can tell me what the fuck is going on.


(We see those 3 strapping their boards on, framed against the sunset. Dwayne is standing on the beach, watching them. As they walk into the water, fade to black)



John From Cincinnati

Episode 8


Click for the trailer.


(Open at the beach, Butchie is surfing. It’s a cloudy, grey day. We see that he has a surfing buddy with him, and the two of them are paddling out on their boards, no one speaks. Butchie’s friend takes the first wave and expertly handles the wave. Butchie watches this and smiles. Butchie takes the next wave and does well, but not up to the standard set by his friend. Next we see several shots of both of them surfing and trying to catch glimpses of each other.)


(Cut to the street near the beach, we see Kai’s Jeep approaching with her and Shaun in it. As they approach, they see Butchie’s van and his friend’s truck parked near the beach)


Shaun: My dad’s here.

Kai: So’s Sonny Mac. That’s his ride next to your dad’s. There’s a nice peak north of the pier.

Shaun: Why can’t we go our here?

Kai: ‘Cause maybe your dad would as soon we didn’t.

Shaun: In case he gets dusted? Shootout in I.B.? Like in Fiji 12 years ago.

Kai: What the fuck do you know about Fiji 12 years ago? (We see them driving further up the beach road)

Shaun: I know more than I let on.


(Cut to the government radio facility. The camera pans around, then we see John and Cass sitting in her Porsche)


John: We made a tape last night.

Cass: We did? Why don’t I remember?

John: Why don’t I remember?

Cass: Obviously you do remember, John, you just said so. What did we make the tape about? (John looks confused) Are you saying we made a sex tape?

John: I am saying we made a sex tape.

Cass: (pauses) See, the head scratcher, John, for me is that you’ll know to say something but you won’t know what it means.

John: Today will be a three-ring circus.

Cass: You want to do something and you’ll do it, but you won’t understand what you did. (John opens the car door and gets out, then turns back to Cass)

John: I will be murdered twice. I will stare me down. Shaun will soon be gone. (He walks around and holds out his hand to her)

Cass: You said that to me last night.

John: I said it to you.

Cass: Why didn’t I remember?

John: We don’t remember my father’s words.

Cass: Why do I remember now? (She takes his hand and gets out of the car)

John: (Motioning to the park-like area around the facility) Work here, Cass.

(We watch them walk out into the area, looking around. John walks off through a little canal area, Cass walks over a foot bridge. John is making a face at a tiki-totem pole as Cass tells him “it’s OK”. Next we see them at an old guard tower, possibly some sort of a training tower. Cass stands at the bottom while John hangs off the edge at the top. Cass looks around at the mountains, and up at the moon. John watches a helicopter fly past and motions around towards the ocean. We see the sun breaking through the clouds. Finally we see them walking away, hand in hand through the grass.)


(Cut back to the beach as Butchie and Sonny are walking up the beach to their cars. As they reach the cars, each puts away his board and starts to remove his wetsuit. )


Sonny: So how’d you do?

Butchie: I was gonna ask you that.

Sonny: You know how you did. (Butchie nods and smiles)


(Cut back to Cass’ car, John and her are now back in it and sitting)


John: You will find our tape in your room. I will see you at Barry’s motel, Cass. We do not remember my father’s words. (Cass looks to be in a trance. She turns her head to look over at John, but he has vanished)


(Cut to the Yost house, in Mitch’s “fort” as Cissy walks in. She has a cup of coffee and is smoking a cig. She looks around for a bit, then starts angrily knocking down all the wind-chimes and kicking things around, generally trying to trash the place. There’s a small tiki-totem on a shelf which she deliberately blows smoke onto. She picks up a phone and dials. )


Cissy: Yeah, It’s Cissy Yost, Dickstein. You can turn on your meter ‘cause I’m divorcing my asshole husband. (She’s throwing Mitch’s clothes around the room) To see who? Oh, well, good for you for not disclosing, Dickstein. You said the motel, I thought my son might have another settlement coming for his other big toe. I’ll see you over there. (Hangs up and starts up throwing things again, then picks up a book and looks at it) “Levitation For the Illuminated”! (Next wee see an exterior shot of the fort and she is flinging clothes out the door and down the stairs.)


(Cut to Freddy in his bed as he is sleeping. He is muttering and rolling around, then awakens with a start. Palaka comes in from the next room.)


Palaka: You dream?

Freddy: (panting) Breakfast.

Palaka: Oh yeah, I’m all over that, yeah. I’ll convey that much right now.


(Cut to Cass, in her hotel room, as she is setting up the video camera in a hurry to see what’s on it. As she turns it on, she see’s John in a video, sitting in front of a black curtain. Next to John on the curtain is the “monad hieroglyphic” She gasps and picks up her headphones to listen. As she listens, she seems shocked, and throws down the headphones.)


(Cut to the café, we see Dwayne at his computer, he is mocking Jerri)


Dwayne: “We don’t fucking deliver.” (Jerri is delivering coffee to a table where Linc and Tina are sitting)

Jerri: As a rule, we don’t fucking deliver. (She leaves the coffee and walks away)

Linc: (to Tina) Uh … M-Me first?

Tina: That’s the usual order.

Linc: I realize … um … the bullshit yesterday with Stinkweed, um … I was making them take me out … (We see that Dwayne is eavesdropping) Which is connected to the greater mystery of why in the hell I’d be hanging around here without trying to close Shaun’s deal.

Tina: And the mystery’s solution is?

Linc: I – I couldn’t …couldn’t close the deal … mmm to protect him … from myself. And then this morning, I wake up, y – y – you’re just laying there beside me … like an angel.

Tina: Which does just go to show you…

Linc: If someone’s watching, and they’re letting me keep operating even with the inkling that I’m not … the greatest guy in the world …maybe they want me to sign him.

(We hear a beep, see Dwayne at his computer and hear: “You have a new message”.

Tina: Would that go for me?

Linc: Well I’d sign you without even giving them a vote.

Tina: I mean … that they’d let me be operating too – seeing Shaun, sticking around.

Linc: In my opinion, definitely.

Tina: You win one free fuck.


Linc: Thank you very much. (They are holding hands. We see Dwayne at his computer as Jerri walks over too him. She sees the hand-holding going on at the other table and exclaims: “Fuck” and sighs.)

Jerri: Wouldn’t come to the counter for their fucking drinks.

Dwayne: (Dwayne is transfixed by what he sees on his screen, looks worried.) I’m afraid.


(Cut to Cass’ hotel room, she is franticly searching the room for something, stripping the bed, etc. She goes to the closet and empties it out, then finds the black curtain with the monad symbol on it, which was used in the video. )


(Cut to the Snug Harbor. We are inside an old barroom that we have not seen before. Ramon and Barry are entering)


Ramon: License got revoked.

Barry: So Lawyer Dickstein informed. (Barry has his teddy bear with him)

Ramon: Yeah, we have to reapply before you can serve liquor.

Barry: Thank goodness I’m not a felon. I’ve had another vision, Ramon.

Ramon: Like when you got the lottery numbers? (Barry nods, yes) Oh, I’ve wondered if you were ever gonna say that – daily, and uh, ever since I met you.

Barry: Rows of faces, rapt.

Ramon: In, in what?

Barry: Oh, it’s some sort of a performance.

Ramon: We – we used to do karaoke here. (Barry abruptly drops to his knees, Ramon catching him and helping him up, then leads him to a pool table to lean on. Barry is exhibiting petite-mal seizure signs, like facial tics and working his hands.) Are you having – having an epileptic? You have any medicine in your man-purse? A spoon? No? (Barry is leaning over the pool table) More? A vision again? (Barry is struggling to speak but is unable). Go, Barry. Go Barry. Go Barry. (Ramon is starting to do a little chant) Go Barry, go Barry. Get your vision. Get your number. Go, go Barry, go. Go Barry.

Barry: I see – columns. (Ramon grabs a pen to write with)

Ramon: OK, get your vision. Get your number. Put your number in the column.

Barry: It’s a theater. (On his feet now, looking around)

Ramon: The money from the new lottery numbers?

Barry: The money I’ve already won.

Ramon: No numbers, this vision?

Barry: Here, from the ruins of a venue of tawdry assignation will arise a temple of art.

Ramon: (Disappointed) Let me check how they’re stenciling the shuffleboard court out there. Shut off the lights when you’re done. (he leaves Barry alone)


(Cut to a street, we see Tina driving as she spots Shaun on his skateboard. She honks and pulls over beside him)


Shaun: How’s it going?

Tina: Good. Good, it’s good to see you.

Shaun: You wanna give me a ride?

Tina: I mean, sure – I’ll give you a ride home.

Shaun: Thanks. (Throws his stuff in the back seat and gets in)


(Cut to Freddy’s room, Palaka is there)


Palaka: Ah now, come on! Nice day like this, don’t get in an indoor stupor. Wanna play shuffleboard? (Freddy is agitated, he hauls off and slugs Palaka hard in the stomach. Palaka groans, doubles over and hits the floor. )

Freddy: Don’t you know, something bad is gonna happen?

Palaka: Don’t lift heavy equipment with light equipment – isn’t that what you always tell me?

Freddy: Don’t do heavy liftin’ with light equipment.

Palaka: Or that’s what you tell me, right, so…why ask me?

Freddy: Ask you what?

Palaka: What’s happening.

Freddy: I halfway think that pain-in-the-balls retired ex-cop aught to stick his donkey nose in.

Palaka: Should I get him?

Freddy: What?! (Lunges at Palaka)

Palaka: Oh nothin’ nothin’, nothin’. (Crawls away to the other room) I was just, you know, talking. You know what I think? Know what I think? I’m goin’ to the fuckin’ beach. The fuckin’ beach – whataya think of that, huh? Anyways, I’ll go get a position before 8000 mutts lay their towels out. Hmmm? Taking the car. Taking the keys. (He leaves)


(Cut to Jerri and Dwayne in her car as they pull into the Snug Harbor)


Dwayne: I’d just as soon not get involved with the nuts and bolts of all this.

Jerri: Too fuckin’ bad, Dwayne.

Dwayne: Being the information’s conduit is where I prefer to draw the line.

Jerri: But before I scare the bejesus out of Cissy, I want to at least talk to Butchie about this fucking guy. (As they are pulling in to park, they see Cissy pulling in from the other direction)

Oh, fuck! (Jerri sighs, we see Ramon working on painting the shuffleboard court)

Dwayne: I guess Mick’s right again.

Jerri: I don’t want to know, Dwayne. (We see Cissy get out of her car, go around and pull out a large suitcase from her car. Jerri gets out of her car.)

Dwayne: Jagger? (He gets out. Cissy is taking the suitcase over by the motel, and looks at Ramon)

Cissy: I’m moving my husband in here –

Ramon: So I see. (Cissy throws the suitcase down on the ground and starts kicking it)

Cissy: Saving him a trip to the house. (Jerri walks up to Cissy)

Jerri: Hi.

Cissy: What are you doing here? (We see Dwayne starting towards Butchie’s room, Ramon sees him)

Ramon: Surfing!

Dwayne: Is that right? Huh.

Jerri: (To Cissy) Um … we need to talk.

Cissy: What?

Ramon: (To Dwayne) His door’s open. (Dwayne, Jerri and Cissy all head off to Butchie’s room.)


(Cut back to the barroom where Barry is having a talk with the teddy bear)


Barry: You are insatiable today. One final illuminating tidbit and then we must leave. Did you know, Teddy, that having built the Lyceum Theater, Daniel Frohman had an apartment placed above the stage? Best seat in the house. (Teddy nods off, snoring) Mr Bear? Mr Bear! Teddy, that is not polite. To think … that this place could be a setting for some building up of the spirit.

(the jukebox suddenly starts up and plays a song. We hear a scratchy recording of a male voice addressing Barry)

Voice: Mr Cunningham, Mr Cunningham, good evening to you sir. Mr Cunningham, thank you so much for letting me run a tab. That’s so kind, that’s very gracious of you. All right, have a good evening, sir. Thank you … ya faggot cocksucker. Look at him. Look at him walk over there like he’s a normal fucking person. Yeah, don’t go out and suck a fast prick in the alley, pal, before you can ---. Mr Cunningham, good evening. Good evening. How are you? You look very well – you almost look like a human being. Congratulations on imitating a human being, Mr Cunningham, you fuckin’ faggot.

Barry: (We have watched Barry react to this) “Oh, and Frank, a Roy Rogers for my young friend.” (Barry sobs, then he turns around and he sees Shaun Yost sitting at the bar.) Young Mr Yost…

Shaun: How’s it going? (Barry walks over and sits next to Shaun)

Barry: Roy Rogers, short and tall. (They each raise their glasses in a toast, then set them down)

Shaun: It’s OK. I’ll be gone pretty soon. (We leave them both staring straight ahead)


(Cut to the shuffleboard court, Ramon is painting the stripes and numbers on the concrete, and talking to himself.)


Ramon: Go Barry. Go Barry. Chief of all angels … got one mission: Orbit alert for a latino trying to catch a break. (groans) Alert! Alert! Alert! Alert! Diving in, latino verging on luck! (We see Barry walking past in the background. He turns to Ramon and Teddy waves goodbye)

Mission boss – chief angel. Wipe interference off my flight path so I can flip feet first before I hit, to crush the latino’s balls with all my speed and force. (We see lawyer Mark Lewinsky drive in and park. Ramon waves and groans: ) He’s waiting for ya! (Lewinsky walks off to a room) Lawyers together – can’t be good.


(Cut to an interior room at the Snug Harbor. Lewinsky and Dickstein are seated and talking)


Lewinsky: (Imitating Carnac, holding an envelope up to Dickstein’s head) What is inside the envelope, O great seer of the east? Hoo, hoo, hoo! If the image of currency is coming to you, O great seer, you are warmer than the sands beneath our feet.

Dickstein: (Taking the envelope) I’m gonna open this now, alright Mark?

Lewinsky: I am but your will’s instrument, O my liege. (Signs) That is a smoking gun, Meyer. Mercy Hospital’s head of neurology has admitted to incompetence, to the destruction of hospital records during the treatment of the Yost boy. As the Yost’s family attorney, notwithstanding your diminutive stature, I would say this is a slam dunk out-of-court settlement.

Dickstein: You represent the hospital. Why give this to me?

Lewinsky: The physician is being insured by another carrier. (Looks around) As to any gesture, financial or otherwise, you wish to make towards me after the settlement, that of course would be a matter separate entirely, and for you alone to determine. (Dickstein looks worried, the two look at each other for a bit, then Dickstein gets up and leaves. On his way out the door, we see it is room 24.)


(Cut to Butchie’s room, Dwayne, Jerri and Cissy are there)


Dwayne: The – the message didn’t come to Butchie’s website. If it came to Butchie’s website, I’d know how I got access, because I’m the webmaster. So that’s kind of a mystery because … I’m kind of secretive about my personal screen name. You know, if you haven’t gotten that many messages and now you get a message, and the content is unpleasant and disconcerting – you know …

Cissy: And Butchie’s asshole surf student signed it?

Dwayne: Uh, it was a video message.

Cissy: Like that fuck Bin Laden?


Dwayne: “Shaun will soon be gone.” (There’s a knock on the door, Jerri opens it and we see Dickstein come in)

Dickstein: So sorry to intrude. Several matters to discuss.

Cissy: No.

Jerri: (To Dickstein) She got a message about her grandson. It’s got her upset.

Dickstein: About Shaun?

Dwayne: I’ll tell you the truth. I actually think … at least as far as evaluating it, I think maybe the police should be involved. (We see Dickstein grabbing his cellphone and dialing. Suddenly Butchie walks in. He stops and looks around at the crowd in his room)

Butchie: If this is an intervention, I’m clean.


(Cut to Tina and Shaun in her car as they pull into the Yost driveway)


Shaun: My Gram’s not home.

Tina: Do you have to have someone home with you?

Shaun: I’m 14.

Tina: No, sure.

Shaun: You’re almost out of gas.

Tina: Yeah, I’m gonna get some.

Shaun: Now?

Tina: Sure, we could get it now. Would you like to go someplace?

Shaun: Sure.

Tina: Should we go to SeaWorld?

Shaun: Sure.

Tina: Do you need to leave a message?

Shaun: Yeah, I’ll leave one at the store.


(Cut to Bill Jacks’ house, Palaka is there)


Palaka: It’s a lovely home.

Bill: And?

Palaka: And, uh… uh, sensitive to things – my boss, the shit he sees: “Don’t you get me started, you,” I mean.

Bill: You’re about to get 86’d.

Palaka: There’s a – there’s an incident – incident coming up. (sneezes) Ugh, your birds… greasy feathers.

Bill: There’s no grease on these birds.

Palaka: Allergic… (sneezes) Done. Done. Yeah, totally erased the tickle.

Bill: Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ!!

Palaka: My boss has had a vision, sir. It scares his pants off.

Bill: Of what?

Palaka: Don’t make me imagine that beating, him giving me chapter and verse, right? I can only tell you...I can only tell you he does not mess with that shit. Even…even refusing to admit it, he would appreciate it if you came to consult.

Bill: Go outside.

Palaka: Yeah. And on that score… when you and he converse, if you confide to him I told you he asked me to come get you, this is the last I would speak off of the ventilator. Thank you. Thank you. (Backing out the door. Zippy squawks, Bill turns to look at Zippy, then throws up his hands and walks out)


(Cut to Butchie’s room, Butchie is on the phone)


Butchie: Hey Shaunie, my phone’s fucked. Give your Grams a call when you get this. (Hangs up) This is bullshit, you know. John’s a good guy.

Cissy: Only you would think he wasn’t strange.

Butchie: Oh, and Dwayne’s not strange, Ma? Ask him about the halo effect the next time the next time you got a free month.


(Cut to Freddy’s room. He’s at the window and sees Bill coming, then hurries to lay on the bed to look like he wasn’t watching. Bill knocks and enters)


Freddy: What do you want?

Bill: I’m looking for Butchie. He owes me 20 bucks.

Freddy: Yeah? Good luck.

Bill: Well anyway, he wasn’t in.


Freddy: Then I guess your work here on earth is through. I guess your mission is complete.

Bill: How you sleeping?

Freddy: What?

Bill: Sleep-ing. If I spoke monkey, I’d put it in your language.

Freddy: I’d as soon as not go back into the joint. That’s why I don’t tune you up.

Bill: Then why don’t you just fucking tell me how you’re sleeping?

Freddy: Why?

Bill: Are you having visions, when you’re sleeping, you half a fucking ape? See I could give less of a flying fuck, but I’m here, see? So I ask the questions. And believe me, I give less of a fuck!

Freddy: (Pauses) I dreamt of that kid … gone.

Bill: Who’s your reference?

Freddy: Butchie’s son, Shaun. That kid.


(Cut to the parking area. Dwayne is leaning into a car window looking for something in the car as Palaka approaches. Palaka squeezes himself into the same window next to Dwayne)


Palaka: Excuse me. Excuse me.

Dwayne: Uh…uh…I’m in a hurry.

Palaka: Yeah, um…

Dwayne: It’s important.

Palaka: Listen. What – what up with the party at the Yost suite?

Dwayne: Uh…uh, I can’t speak to that.

Palaka: Can’t .. speak to it?

Dwayne: (Finds the laptop he was looking for) Will you let me out please?

Palaka: Yeah. (The two of them wriggle out of the car window)

Dwayne: My domain has been hacked, alright?

Palaka: And?

Dwayne: And we’re all a bit concerned for Butchie’s son.


(We see Dwayne re-entering Butchie’s room with the laptop)


Dickstein: This will bring matters into focus.

Dwayne: (Placing the laptop on the coffee table) Just take a moment. (Opens the laptop) Let’s see. (Long pause while everyone stands around watching him) Rebooting… (Another long pause. Butchie is fidgeting and chewing his nails)

Cissy: When did you start that again?

Butchie: When I stopped shooting dope. You know what? Fuck your fucking computer, Dwayne. I don’t give a fuck what’s on there.

Dwayne: Here we go! Here we go. (they all gather around to watch the video of John saying “Shaun will soon be gone.” The same video that was on Cass’ camera.) That’s it.

Butchie: Look, not that we even know what the fuck he’s talking about. Words mean something different for him. “I’m shy about dumping out.” “I’m gonna bone her and break her jaw.”

Cissy: Who does he do that to?

Butchie: Oh, for Christ’s sake!

Dwayne: My sole concern… how he infiltrated my domain.

Butchie: It’s because he’s got strange fucking powers, alright Dwayne? He makes money appear and every other fucking thing. I mean nobody said he hasn’t got strange fucking powers and abilities.

Dickstein: Without being argumentative, I’d think that should raise our index of suspicion…somewhat.

Butchie: Yeah well, fuck you too, Meyer.


(Cut back to Freddy’s room, he and Bill are sitting there as Palaka comes in and heads straight to the bathroom)


Palaka: Gonna – Quick piss, that’s all. (He goes into the bathroom and shuts the door. We hear Bill from the other room.)

Bill: Why should either of us pay any attention to what you think?

Freddy: Fine!

Bill: That’s all.

Freddy: Alright. Drive safely.

Bill: Excuse me?

Freddy: Drive safely, get the fuck out.

Palaka: (Having listened to this, not pissing, he flushes the toilet and walks out into the room) Done. Uh, listen to that toilet, huh? Runs, runs, runs. You yell at me why I should flush at night, huh? That’s the ensuing reason.

Freddy: He was just leaving.

Bill: You ain’t just whistling Dixie! (Starts for the door)

Palaka: Listen to me. List….listen up for a second. Boss, as far as your vision, I just ran into a hairlip, apparently has partial confirmation.

Bill: Of what?

Palaka: That boy…and so forth.

(Freddy and Bill look at each other, next we see them stepping out into the parking area. They stand there for a bit, trying to decide what to do. We see Ramon at the shuffleboard court. Suddenly John appears near Ramon.


Bill: Where the fuck did he come from?

Ramon: (To himself) Cincinnati? (John turns and knocks on Butchie’s door. Jerri opens the door, everyone sees John. Butchie bursts out the door.)

Butchie: What the fuck, John? You’ve got everybody shitting bricks! You sneaking onto other people’s computers now? (He’s leading John out into the parking area with the entire group following)

John: The internet is big.

Butchie: Fuck the internet, buddy, what’s this shit about Shaun?

John: Shaun will soon be gone.

Butchie: Don’t…don’t say that any more. Do not say that. Understood?

John: We don’t remember our father’s words?

Bill: (Yelling across the parking area, charging over to Butchie) What in hell is going on here?

Butchie: Aw, shit!

John: Aw, shit.

Butchie: Shut up , John.

Cissy: Bill…look at this. (Pointing to Dwayne’s computer)

Bill: I don’t use those.

Dwayne: I can turn it on for you.

Bill: Outdoors?

Dwayne: Yes.

Bill: Well, do it then for god’s sake!

Butchie: (To John as the others are watching the video) Would you hurt Shaun? You’d never hurt Shaunie, would you, John?

John: Hurting Shaun doesn’t ring a bell.

Butchie: What the fuck are you he’ll be gone for?

John: We don’t remember our father’s words. (Having watched the video, Bill is approaching John) Aw shit.

Bill: Me and “I got my eye on you” are gonna have a little conversation.

Butchie: I don’t think he knows what he’s saying, Bill.

Bill: Well, I’m gonna help him with all that. (Butchie looks over at Cissy, who nods “yes” to him)


Butchie: (to John) Try to tell him what you mean, buddy.

John: I’ll try, Butchie.

Bill: Come on. (Bill take John’s arm and leads him away to a motel room. As he is walking away, John and Butchie exchange the “hang loose” hand signal. Bill and John walk past Ramon, and Dickstein walks over to see Ramon’s painting work.)

Dickstein: Th – this is incorrect.’s supposed to be “10 Off”. The bottom tier is 10 off. You don’t reward failure, Ramon. (We see Barry walking across the parking area with Teddy, and a very furrowed brow).


(Cut to an interior motel room as John and Bill enter. Bill closes the door and directs John to sit)


Bill: Come over here. (he leads John to sit on the bed, then sits in a folding chair across from John) Now, let me just say that sending that message means you’re not as stupid as you sometimes appear, so we’ll have no more of the parrot talk…right here, right now under the present circumstances. When you leave this room, you and I are gonna have gotten to the bottom of things. You’re gonna tell me exactly what that message means. Do we understand each other?

John: Yes, Bill.

Bill: “Shaun will be gone soon.” Alright, let’s take the first word –“soon”. Some people are concerned “soon”…when you made that tape…would now mean…right now. Is that true? (John looks confused) Is Shaun gone now? What – what does “soon” mean? Could it mean a thousand years?

John: It could mean a thousand years. (Bill slaps John hard, and grabs him by the neck with one hand)

Bill: Now I don’t want to get violent with you…but I told you no parrot talk. (John is oblivious) What does “soon” mean? Could it be 10 minutes?

John: It could mean 10 minutes.

Bill: (Frustrated, yelling) What does it mean!!?

John: (Pausing, clearly unsure of what to say.) There will be no more parrot talk.

Bill: Shaun calls you his friend, yet you send this message like…like…like some terrorist. Now you cannot be this stupid. You managed to send a message with a camera, on a computer, this goofball from the computer place, he says he still don’t know how you did it! How does that happen? (John is looking sad, perplexed)

John: I don’t know Butchie, instead.


(Out in the parking area, we see Butchie pacing about, waiting. He see’s the suitcase on the ground and speaks to Cissy.)


Butchie: Your suitcase…dad’s clothes. (She just nods) You know, that – that shuffleboard’s really got the parking spots ass-fucked.

Cissy: Shut up. (We see Freddy and Palaka leaning against Jerri’s car as she and Dwayne watch)

Jeri: Fuckin’ steal it, I’ll split the insurance with ya.


(Back in the motel room with Bill and John)


Bill: This other guy outside, this Hawaiian, he says you’re a shape-shifter. Pothead Joe, he says you died, came back to life. (John reaches into his magic pocket and pulls out a large knife.)

John: Stare me down! Just stare me down! (John starts stabbing himself in the belly, several time, very deeply)

Bill: What’s going on? (He reaches out and grabs the knife from John) Jesus Christ! What’s happening here?! (He looks at John’s bloody sweatshirt, then jumps up to get a towel from the bathroom. Looking back at John, he sees that John seems unaffected by the wounds. Wiping the blood from the knife, he goes back to John and lifts up John’s sweatshirt to look at the wounds. We see that John’s belly is covered in blood, but no wounds. Bill wipes the blood off John’s belly with the towel, and we see there are definitely no wounds. John looks at Bill quizzically. Bill stands and stares at John, dumbstruck, then turns to leave the room. As Bill is leaving the room we see that it is room #24. Freddy is outside, and walks over to meet Bill.)

Bill: (To Freddy) He’s yours. (Freddy goes into the room and shuts the door. We see Palaka angling around the side of the room, trying to get close. Butchie and Cissy walk over to Bill, they see the blood on Bill’s hands.)

Butchie: Was he hurt?

Bill: Tried to hurt himself. He doesn’t get hurt. Forget about Cincinnati. (Cissy’s phone rings, she answers. We also see Cass approaching with her video camera)

Cissy: Hello?

Bill: (To Cass) I don’t know his whereabouts.

Dickstein: (Seeing Cass with her camera, he and Ramon are vacating the area.) Oh fine, complicit in a second felony.

Palaka: (Rushing up to Cass) Excuse me, excuse me.

Cass: Do not come near me.

Palaka: Excuse me, excuse me. Fair notice, miss! Certain outcomes or circumstances, you’re not leaving here with your fucking Kodak, OK? I apologize in advance.

Cissy: (Hanging up the phone) Bye. (Shouting to Dickstein and Ramon and the others) He’s alright. The porn queen had him at SeaWorld.

Palaka: (Hearing this, he rushes over to the door to room 24) Fuck…oh fuck. (Knocks on the door, loudly clearing his throat.) Excuse me, excuse me. Crucial information. Crucial information: Western Union! (We see Cissy dialing her phone) The lost telegram has been located.

Cissy: (In the background on the phone) Yeah, help me with something, Kai. If Shaunie left a message at the shop, why do I have to find out from his whore of a mother, she took him to SeaWorld and now she’s dropping him home?

Palaka: (Still at the door, we see Cass is filming him.) The lost surfing telegraph boy has been located. Located. (knocking)

Cissy: This is fucking bullshit. If he’s old enough to be with her, I’m signing him tonight with Linc.

Palaka: (Fake sneezing) He’s safe! (Clearing throat) Located! Located! He’s located! He’s safe! (Coughs: ) Don’t kill anybody! Don’t kill anybody!


(Cut to the Snug Harbor barroom, we see Bill sitting at the bar alone as Freddy enters)


Freddy: SeaWorld.

Bill: That’s where he was?

Freddy: Yeah, the mother took the kid to SeaWorld.

Bill: Did you kill him?

Freddy: Nah. Palaka caught me. Shape-shifters! I’ve seen on many occasion.

Bill: You don’t know what the fuck he is.

Freddy: No. But whatever the fuck he is, he’s gotta come through both of us. (they look at each other silently)


(Cut to the café. Dickstein and Daphne are sitting at a table)


Dickstein: Daphne, he was proposing a corrupt collusion.

Daphne: To which you replied to him?

Kai: (Bursting through the front door) Fuck these people. (She walks over to Jerri and sits at the bar) I’m outta here. I don’t take this abuse from anybody. (She throws a set of keys onto the bar)

Jerri: Who are you talking about, Kai?

Kai: Who’s keys are those? Fucking Cissy queen-of-the-ballbusters Yost. Thinks I gotta eat her shit on the telephone. Just so happens I laid my foot open getting out of the water this morning… a fucking Coke can some asshole tears in half and leaves in the fucking sand. No health plan on that 8 dollars an hour those jerks see fit to pay me. So I drive clear to Huntington to see this quack that I know will treat me. Take me 2 hours just to see the asshole, another two in traffic getting back here. And Shaunie didn’t leave any message, that lying little jerk. I try to keep tabs on him, and Butchie too, and she knows that. So fuck her, fuck them! I’m gone. I’m outta here. Tell her to go fuck herself. I quit. (She leaves)

Dickstein: (To Daphne) I could be disbarred.

Daphne: I’m not the fair-weather type, Meyer. That isn’t who you’re engaged to.


(Cut to Cass’ hotel room as she rushes in with John in tow. As they get into the room, she turns around and slaps John as hard as she can)


Cass: What have you gotten me in the middle of, John?

John: Work here, Cass.

Cass: (Slapping the bed) “Work here. Work here. “ (She takes the black curtain with the Monad symbol out from under the bedspread) What is it that you have me working on when we do whatever it is that we do, so that I don’t remember afterward? (she slaps him again) I helped you make that video, didn’t I John, with my zeros and my fucking ones? And I helped you scare all of those people.

John: You helped me.

Cass: You know what? Get out! Get out, you goddamn twitch with your little-boy-take-care-of-me act!

John: My father had more big and huge for me.

Cass: Who is your father, an Arab fanatic?

John: Those fuckin’ towelheads are going to get themselves eradicated.

Cass: My god. Oh my god. What is going on? Tell me something. Tell me something big and huge.

John: My father tells me, Cass.

Cass: Can’t you tell me anything else? (John pauses, screws up his face and fidgets, we hear him go “Mmmm”. He’s confused) Does your father mean well?

(John thinks for a bit, then closes his eyes and seems to go limp. Cass goes into a sort of a trance, then quietly starts folding up the Monad curtain. )


(Cut to the hotel bar. We see Tina sitting at the bar as Butchie walks in)


Tina: He called the shop, he left word on the machine. I heard him do it.

Butchie: Maybe he just faked it. I do that about half the time.

Tina: How pissed off was Cissy?

Butchie: Hmmm, not too bad.

Tina: Bullshit.

Butchie: Um, Cissy wakes up pissed off. This fucking John, you know? He’s a good guy, but he acts like a pea brain…saying shit is gonna happen to Shaunie.

Tina: What was he saying?

Butchie: He’s going to be gone, Stupid shit. That’s why everyone freaked when we couldn’t find him.

Tina: Could he hurt Shaun?

Butchie: Fu – no. Fuck, no. Who am I, Dr Phil? (We see the barmaid walking behind the bar) Hey! Jack and Coke if you’re working.

Tina: She thinks I’m working.

Butchie: Maybe she’s checking your moves.

Tina: He turned out so good.

Butchie: Shaunie. Well, I guess we have to give Cissy that much. (The barmaid returns with Butchie’s drink) Sorry. (Pointing to himself) Asshole.

Tina: Shaun wants me to stay in I.B. I want to. Would you be OK with that?

Butchie: I signed him over, Tina. I don’t get a vote on that shit. Yeah, I’d be OK with it.

Tina: I’m fucking Linc.

Butchie: Why would you tell me that?

Tina: If I was here, you know, around Shaun…

Butchie: I don’t talk to Linc.

Tina: I know. And I wanna be in your life.

Butchie: That would be my part, writing permission slips for who you bang? I wouldn’t have time to eat.

Tina: OK, OK… OK.

Butchie: Not for nothing, Tina, but…you don’t fuck Linc. Linc fucks you. (He puts money on the bar and walks out.)


(Cut to the Yost house kitchen. We see Shaun signing a document. Linc is standing over him. Shaun leaves, then Cissy sits down and signs the document. )


(Cut to Freddy’s car, parked outside the Yost house. We see Bill in the car with Freddy. We see Palaka lurking nearby against a neighbor’s fence.)


Palaka: (to himself) You keep watch on that boy, boss, and I’ll keep watch on you. (Palaka hears a noise from the yard next door, turns and sees a man standing there with a rake, watching Palaka) It’s my… It’s my friend. Yeah. Lovely, uh, flowers.

Man: Thank you very much, sir.

Palaka: Yeah. Nice … puppy.


Bill: It’s like a goddamn matchbook car.

Freddy: It’s a rental. (We hear Zippy squawk from the back seat) I told you about that fucking bird.

Bill: Yeah. Mortal combat with unseen forces, I should deprive myself of telepathic information to spare you irritation from cheeping. (We see Kai walking up the street towards them) Butchie’s friend. (Struggling to get out of the car.) Jesus Christ almighty! (Bill walks over to meet Kai, leaving Freddy in the car with a squawking Zippy. Freddy turns and glares at Zippy)


Bill: (To Kai) A terrible person. I’d rather stand outside. (They sit on the curb together. Kai pulls out a flask and offers it to Bill. He takes it and says “Thank you”. After drinking, he carefully wipes the top of the flask with his shirt and hands it back)

Kai: 15 years…a nice round number.

Bill: Would you rather I move?

Kai: Why?

Bill: (Shrugs) I don’t understand what you’re saying. I’m keeping an informal watch on the boy.

Kai: I resigned that position this afternoon.

John: (John has “appeared” behind Kai and Bill. Neither of them seem aware of his presence or his words) You let Cissy piss in your ear, Kai, every day. You surfed with Shaunie every day he wanted to. You kept Butchie’s boards… every day. Shaun will be gone. Butchie will need you on the water.

Kai: (to Bill) Should I stick around?

Bill: (pauses) Staircase situation in my own home, failed to alleviate it going on a year….probably I’m not who to ask.

Freddy: (Alone in the car with Zippy, watching the Yost house) All nice inside. All lit up. This ain’t over, believe me.


Freddy: Shut up.


(The closing credits music starts up. We see Shaun in his room, juggling by himself. Fade to black)



John From Cincinnati
Episode 9


Click for the trailer


(Open on a remote beach, we see a ramshackle beach hut nestled in the rocks. There’s a grey-haired man sitting motionless in a chair, surrounded by rock sculptures. We see a hazy image of somebody approaching him in the distance.)


(Cut to the Yost house interior. We see Cissy walking through the house, then knocking on Shaun’s door. She opens the door, and we see that Shaun’s bed is empty and made, the room is empty and Shaun’s skateboard and backpack are on the floor. Cissy calls out to Shaun, rushes through the house and out the side door. We see Palaka dozing in a lawn chair, and on the street we see Freddy and Bill are still there from the night before.)


Cissy: He’s gone! My god! (Everyone stirs and jumps up from their napping, Cissy is on her cellphone) Kai! Shaunie’s gone! (Cissy is frantic, she runs back into the house. We see Bill opening the back door of Freddy’s car. He pulls out Zippy’s cage, which is empty.)

Bill: (To Freddy) You got my goddamn bird?!

(Palaka is approaching Freddy, Freddy is motioning to Palaka wanting to know what’s happening)


(Cut back to the remote beach, we see Mitch approaching the man in the chair.)


Mitch: Erlemeyer! Mitch… Yost. You know, I stopped by that cantina down the road last night and, uh, there was this inked-up asshole in there talking about “The Chemist.” I … yeah and I uh remembered that you live down here.

Erlemeyer: Well, I don’t do that anymore, Mitch… if that’s why you’re down here.

Mitch: So … so, not making what you used to make, do you ever see what we used to see?

Erlemeyer: I try to stay eligible. I pray, I fast, I meditate. I try not to resent people I haven’t seen in 20 years coming down to take my temperature.

Mitch: Look, I’ve been up in the air, I … I’ve seen my grandson come back from the dead.

Erlemeyer: In the cantina…

Mitch: No, in I.B. … with clear head. You know, I … I think maybe an extraterrestrial’s involved with my family. My son, especially.

Erlemeyer: The analgesic pioneer. Do I cross a line, Mitch, if I ask with all this shaking up there … why you’re down here?

Mitch: I lost my nerve.

Erlemeyer: Use it up, charging big pipe?

Mitch: No, big pipe’s easy. Dry land’s hard.

Erlemeyer: What’s it take to get across the border now?

Mitch: You thinking of going back?

Erlemeyer: Aren’t you, Mitch? See anything in that cantina worth staying for? Maybe you came down to renew my eligibility.


(Cut to Linc’s hotel room. We see Tina in bed as a cellphone is ringing. She answers the phone to hear Cissy.)


Cissy: Say something, you prick.

Tina: It’s Tina.

Cissy: Has Linc got Shaun?

Tina: He’s jogging.

Cissy: Some promo bullshit he didn’t bother to mention last night?

Tina: Shaun’s not with Linc, Cissy. (Tina is up and putting on her jeans)

Cissy: Is he with you? Another fucking jaunt to SeaWorld?

Tina: Maybe he’s surfing.

Cissy: His wetsuit’s right here! Don’t you think I know where his fucking wetsuit is?

Tina: (Tina is struggling to squeeze into her tight jeans) You motherfucker!

Cissy: What did you call me?

Tina: I’ll go tell Linc, Cissy. I’ll take him his phone so he can call you.

Cissy: Yeah, and don’t forget to drown yourself afterwards!


(Cut back to Erlemeyer’s place in Mexico, We see him descending a long stair from his house to the driveway where Mitch is parked. We also see a hippy-type camper vehicle that’s built from an old luxury sedan. He approaches Mitch in his car)


Erlemeyer: (Pointing to the camper) I drew a full house against a flush.

Mitch: You wanna ride up with me?

Erlemeyer: Well, I studied engines so I could make it run. (He wants to drive his camper. They nod at each other and he heads to the camper. After starting it, he motions to Mitch to move out of the way)


(Cut to Butchie’s room at the motel, Butchie is asleep in bed. We hear and see Cissy’s car roaring into the lot outside. Butchie stirs and hears her too. Cissy gets out of her car and immediately starts yelling.)


Cissy: Butchie! Butchie! (As she reaches his door, he’s opening it from inside and steps outside) Shaun’s gone!

Butchie: What?


Cissy: He’s fucking gone! Disappeared overnight!

Butchie: Did you call Kai?

Cissy: Yeah, she’s probably surfing.

Butchie: And he’s not surfing?

Cissy: His wetsuit’s still at the house. Those fucking assholes didn’t see him …

Butchie: What assholes?

Cissy: I’m telling you he’s gone! And I wanna know where your friend is who said he would be.

Butchie: That skinny bitch with the camera’s place. OK, I’m on it Ma. I’ll go over there right now.


(Cut to Bill’s house interior. We see Bill standing and holding Zippy’s empty cage)


Bill: I put him in against a whole different weight class, they wipe him from the face of the earth. Christ! Shaun is gone and Zip is gone on my watch, do you understand? And that’s the sum and substance of it from here on in. Stand watch and fail and stand watch and fail and lose ‘em all one after another!


(Cut to the Snug Harbor as Palaka and Freddy arrive in their car.)


Palaka: Cell phone on alarm, relentless three minute intervals how ever many hours I was on watch, boss. And boss, it never went off, boss. And you wanna know why?

Freddy: I’m gonna break your other fuckin’ wrist.

Palaka: Because I never fell asleep. That kid had to have turned into mercury and oozed below my watch post at that fence and turned into a tiny silver ball …

Freddy: Meaning it was me he got past!

Palaka: No no, god forbid I think that.

(As they are walking towards Freddy’s room, we see Butchie rushing out of his room and hopping into his van, then driving away. We also see Ramon in his bathrobe, watching the comings and goings.)


Palaka: (Now inside Freddy’s room) You do not buy a gift and not give it. That’s the oldest bad luck in the world. (We see Palaka with a teddy bear that’s dressed up like Fonzy) Bought for good luck, specifically .. you on your visit to the mainland. You break my wrist the minute I don’t give it, disaster on disaster since. Never ever a streak as worse as this. (Freddy grabs the bear from him and throws it out the door to the room. Palaka hurries to go get it.) ‘Scuse me. If you’ll allow me past …(He goes out and retrieves the bear and again offers it to Freddy) I’d just as soon you don’t put a beating on me, or a skull fracture, and I hope this could break the bad luck and please just take it … take it under that set of circumstances. (pause) For the boy.

(Freddy takes the bear and looks at it, then walks outside the room with Palaka peering out after him. Freddy spots Barry unloading groceries from his car and walks towards him. As Barry sees Freddy and gets a closer look at him, he looks alarmed. Freddy tosses the bear at Barry’s feet.)

Freddy: For the boy. That boy Shaun’s gone. (Ramon hears this, and he and Barry both look surprised. Freddy walks back into his room. Barry puts down his groceries and walks off to the barroom as Ramon watches).


(Cut to the interior of a suite of empty, run down offices. We see Dr Smith approaching from outside and open the front door with a key. We watch as he looks around the reception area, then walks down a long hallway with many rooms on either side. He turns and goes into one room and stands in it looking around. )


(Cut to the Snug Harbor bar as Barry is walking in. Barry has very tense expression as he walks in and past the seated ghost of Mr Rollins. As Barry passes, we also see Shaun seated at the bar. )


(Cut back to Dr Smith as he is leaving the room where we left him. He hurries up the hallway and out the front of the offices.)


(Cut to the I.B. beach as Tina is walking out onto the sand. We see Linc jogging, and he spots Tina and jogs over to her.)


Tina: Cissy called you. Shaun’s gone. Do you know where he is?

Linc: No, how would I know?

Tina: ‘Cause you signed him last night. She thought maybe you took him somewhere. (She’s handing Linc his phone)

Linc: Tina, I’m right here with you. You saw me go out for a jog.

Tina: What did I do?

Linc: What, so you’re the one who took him?

Tina: I shouldn’t have come down here.

Linc: (Dialing the phone.) I’ll do what I do, I’ll find him. Get me to the hotel. You should go to Cissy’s shop. You need to be with people right now.

Tina: That where Cissy’s gonna be?

Linc: You’re the one who talked to her, Tina. (Speaks into the phone) Hang on, Jake.

Tina: Give her one more thing to freak out about.

Linc: Maybe that’s what she needs.


(Cut to the café as Dwayne is seated in front of his computer. On the computer screen we see an image of 2 “monad symbols”, one large and one small)


Dwayne: It’s conceivable this is meant to be reassuring.

Jerri: If you’ve lived your life with your head up your ass.

Dwayne: The last tape showed one figure on the sheet behind Butchie’s friend and Butchie’s friend says, “Shaun will soon be gone.” This tape shows two figures on the sheet and no speaker. Assume one of the figures is Butchie’s friend, the other is Shaun and both are now gone, that’s a confirmation of the previous message.

Jerri: Proving Butchie’s friend’s a sadist and a kidnapper.

Dwayne: It’s only sadistic if he intends harm.

Jerri: That the fuck but harm would he be intending … to fucking kidnap someone?

(We hear knocking on the door, then see Dickstein outside the cafe looking in) Fuck sake, Dickstein.

Dickstein: It’s me, Meyer Dickstein! (Jerri walks to the door)

Jerri: Don’t I fuckin’ know who you are? And doesn’t that sign at your balls say “closed”?

Dickstein: I had a dream I was supposed to come over here.

Jerri: Go away.

Dickstein: Did you hear what I just said?

Jerri: Yes, Dickstein. Lay down, take a nap and dream you’re supposed to fucking leave.

(Cissy bursts up behind Dickstein and pushes him aside)

Cissy: Move, goddamn it.

Dickstein: Excuse me. (Jerri opens the door for Cissy)

Cissy: He’s gone, Shaunie.

Dwayne: We know.


(Cut to Cass’ hotel room as Butchie is knocking on the door.)


Butchie: It’s Butchie Yost, looking for John. (We see that Cass’ computer has the same image on it as Dwayne’s did)

Cass: He’s not here …that I’m aware of.

Butchie: Can I come in for a second? (Cass starts to open the door, then Butchie suddenly pushes open the door and bursts in, shoving Cass back against the wall with his hand on her chest) Your roommate grabbed my kid.

Cass: Oh, my god!

Butchie: Are you gonna tell me what you know?

Cass: Yes. Yes, of course.


(Cut back to the café)


Dwayne: Food for thought, anyway …as a basis for believing Shaun’s safe, I’m saying.

Jerri: You would think sending messages means he’s looking for ransom.

Cissy: People kill kids … and ask for ransom.

Dwayne: Uh, the notice before the fact is what I’m proposing as a basis for belief.

Dickstein: It certainly invites an answer.

Dwayne: Wouldn’t this be a good time to involve the police?

Cissy: Sure, they hate us, and who the hell do we say John is? (She heads for the door)

Dickstein: Don’t you want to help me write a draft?

Cissy: I’m gonna look for him!

Jerri: (Closing the door behind Cissy and locking it, then turns to Dickstein.) Hurry up!

Dickstein: “To whoever’s gone with Shaun…”


(Cut back to Cass’s room, she and Butchie are looking at video footage of some sort of “tribal dancing” with John in the picture)


Butchie: Where’s the fucking canoe trip to Yosemite?

Cass: It’s…it’s what he wanted.

Butchie: Well, he told you these places to go?

Cass: No, he said, “drive”, then he’d say “stop” and then he’d say “work here”.

Butchie: Oh – OK turn it off.

Cass: I think he’s on some kind of automatic pilot.

Butchie: Yeah, maybe he’s a commercial plane.

Cass: Like, he hears something, and then his program tells him what to say back.

Butchie: Yeah, but who put his program in?

Cass: I don’t know. I mean, he says, “My father did this” or “My father did that”.

Butchie: Or the president of American Airlines. And it’s like he’s programmed to fake “Oh, I’m sad”, “Oh I’m happy” or whatever else he fucking does.

Cass: Yeah, and he’ll look like something makes him sad or happy if it’s in his programming, I …I don’t know.

Butchie: And what’s the connection to my father going up in the air and all that other fucking shit?

Cass: I don’t know.

Butchie: Well, I guess you don’t know fucking much now, do you?

Cass: No, I guess not.

Butchie: (Sighs, then grabs a pencil and starts writing on a sticky pad) So… if he fuckin’ shows up or anything, or if he fuckin’ calls …

Cass: Yeah, I…I call that number.

Butchie: Right. That’s mine. This is my fuckin’ mother’s. And here is the other fuckin’ mother. (He starts to leave then turns back to Cass) Did I hurt your tit or anything?

Cass: No.

Butchie: OK. You’ve got the numbers.


(Cut to the beach as Kai is coming out of the water. She reaches her stuff on the beach and picks up her phone. She checks her messages and hears Cissy’s frantic message: “Kai, Shaunie’s gone!”)


(Cut to a view of Cissy at the pier, she is going from one person to the next, showing them Shaun’s photo. )


(Cut to Bill’s house, he is sitting and suddenly realizes that a white bird is making sounds like Zippy. )


Bill: (To the white bird) Zip? Zip, is that you? (He appears to be listening to the bird) Please forgive me! How could I have been so mistaken? Your wish is my command…your ladyship. (He picks up Zippy’s empty cage and starts to the door.) It’s Bill Jacks commencing recon for both the missing. And please forgive me for being so slow on the uptake. (To himself as he is leaving: ) Never once communicated previous 15 years.


(Cut to the Snug Harbor, we see Barry slowly exiting the back of the barroom. Dr Smith is walking past and sees him, then comes over to Barry.)


Smith: Mr. Cunningham?

Barry: Go away! (Barry shrinks from Smith and holds his hands up like for karate) I’m serious!

Smith: What’s happened?

Barry: This is my property, I’ll have you arrested.

Smith: (Slowly approaching Barry and reaches out to him.) For what? Barry…

Barry: Just don’t … don’t touch me! Don’t put your hands on me!

Smith: I’ve had terrible dreams too.

Barry: Oh, not like this.

Smith: Yes, I have.

Barry: I dreamed about…Butchie’s son… there in the bar.

Smith: You dreamt he was in the bar?

Barry: Now he’s gone.

Smith: Things don’t happen because we’ve dreamt them.

Barry: No one should go in there! I should have leveled the place!

Smith: Why don’t we go inside?

Barry: Are you crazy?

Smith: Definitely. (Smith gently takes Barry’s hand and starts to lead him back into the bar. We see that Palaka has been watching them)

Palaka: The doctor is in!


(Cut to Cissy on the pier, she is approaching Joe as he is fishing)


Cissy: My grandson’s missing. Have you seen him?

Joe: Not today. Ah, he was…he was out here yesterday with that frat boy. (pointing to the beach)

Cissy: What frat boy?

Joe: Tall drink of water with the poodle haircut.

Cissy: John?

Joe: Yeah, that’s him. I’ll uh, I’ll check into it. I’ll ask the boys down at the V.F.W. There’s not much around here they don’t know about.

Cissy: Thank you.

Joe: I… I’d be the last one to say he’s not strange, but I’d have said till now, he’s harmless.


(Cut to the surf shop, Butchie and Kai are hugging and talking)


Butchie: You know, he could be brainwashed, he could be on automatic pilot or any other fucking thing. John would hurt himself before he’s hurt Shaunie. I mean John, he … can’t even take a dump, how’s he gonna be a master criminal?

Kai: “Did you dump out today, Kai?” That, he said, trying to make me feel better. Sweet and stupid… like you.

Butchie: When?

Kai: At the hospital when Shaunie had his accident.

Butchie: I said that at my crib, Kai, trying to make him feel better.

Kai: Are you telling me John repeated what someone else said to him?

Butchie: Hey Kai, what if John thinks “A+ for fume control” means he hopes you feel better?

Kai: If he wants us to feel better, why’d he take Shaun?

Butchie: ‘Cause his pilot’s got him on override.

Kai: Well if John’s on override, how do we know he wouldn’t hurt Shaun?

Butchie: Because John’s automatic pilot wouldn’t be an asshole. That’s the secret code to us from his pilot, Kai.

Kai: What?

Butchie: “John can’t dump”. “I’m not an asshole”.

Kai: How in the fuck did I miss that? (We hear the door as Tina enters. Tina sees them hugging)

Butchie: We were just talking about Shaunie, how we know he’s gonna be alright.

Tina: How?


(Cut to the street outside the surf shop, where we see Linc and Jake leaning against Linc’s car)


Linc: Kid needs to be looked for and it has to happen under the radar.

Jake: That P.I. in Del Mar… made Wonderboy’s date-rape thing go away?

Linc: Use him.

Jake: You know, that congressman whose kid tagged along with the team in the tuamotus?

Linc: Arliano.

Jake: Yeah, he’s part of some… intelligence oversight committee. He can notify the bureau on the Q.T.

Linc: Good.

Jake: I’ll do that right away.

Linc: Thanks a lot. (They are looking at the back of Butchie’s van.)

Jake: Butchie’s ride, no? Should I be wearing Kevlar?

(Butchie, Kai and Tina exit the surf shop, they see Linc and Jake and looks are exchanged all around. )

Tina: (To Butchie) He’s helping find Shaun. (They start walking towards Linc. From across the street at the café, Jerri sees this development and comes out of the café saying “Ah, Christ, look at this”. Butchie walks over and faces Linc.)

Butchie: Every fuckin’ promise I ever made, I broke.

Linc: Do what you gotta do. (Butchie slowly raises his fist, then suddenly punches Linc in the face. Linc falls over. Jerri hurries over from the café. From the ground, Linc looks up at Butchie.) There’s one in a row you’ve kept.

Jerri: (To Kai.) Not that what they’re on about ain’t making the boy’s recovery imminent, the hairlip thinks he’s onto something.


(Cut to the beach, where we see Cissy hurrying under the pier to show Shaun’s photo to some homeless bums. As she leaves there, she sees Shaun’s surfing friends coming out of the water and runs over to them. She sends them off to look for Shaun. Next we see Joe at the V.F.W. talking to one of his drinking buddies. He sends the guy off to look for Shaun. Then we see Shaun’s friends asking other kids to help look for Shaun and they all run off together. We also see the V.F.W. guy talking to people on the street. )


(Cut to the Snug Harbor bar interior. We see Smith and Barry at the pool table, talking as Smith plays with a ball on the pool table)



Smith: When we met, just now, I was coming back from the clinic I’ve leased across the street. I’d gotten scared there in an examining room. I’d been imagining days to come, the people I’d be caring for, their gratitude to a physician of my credentials choosing to work with the poor and underserved. (As Smith is speaking, we see Barry crying and exchanging looks with the ghost of Mr Rollins) The day before, standing in that room, I’d felt that I had heard those patients voices thanking me. Not hearing them today, I saw that the room was ramshackle and dirty. (He takes Barry’s hand) Not hearing the hallelujah soundtrack frightened me, made me run. I’d better get that place opened up. (Barry exchanges looks with Mr Rollins and with Shaun at the bar, then sighs) Shall we go?


(Cut to the street outside Rosa-the-Avon-lady’s house as Ramon is walking by in his best suit-jacket. Ramon notices her roses, and stops to smell them. Rosa is sitting out in a lawn chair with some crocheting and watches him. They exchange greeting is Spanish and talk for a short while. No Spanish translation is available at this time. Rosa offers him an Avon catalog, which he declines, then he changes his mind and takes one. He thanks her then walks off towards the Snug Harbor)


(Cut to the Snug Harbor as Barry and Smith are leaving the back of the bar, hand-in-hand. They see Ramon approaching as he also sees them. Barry is now smiling broadly)


Ramon: (Indicating his suit jacket) Church. Praying for the boy.

Barry: (Holding up his and Smith’s hands) Just married.

Ramon: (He seems excited about something and holds out the Avon Catalog) Look what Rosa gave me.

Barry: (Takes the catalog and looks at it) Avon. Wonderful. (He opens it and looks through) The care that must go into creating lipstick shades for women of color.

Ramon: (Pointing to the catalog) Go to the middle.

Barry: Oh yes. (Smith is looking at the pages in the catalog, as is Barry. Smith looks surprised and looks at Ramon. Ramon nods: “Yes”.)

Smith: Please excuse me. You stay right there. (He rushes off)

Barry: Thank you!

Smith: I’m coming right back!

Barry: What an extraordinary man.

Ramon: Listen to me. Look at this. (Pointing to the catalog. Barry holds it up and we can see that there are many “monad symbols” printed across the pages as though they have magically appeared there)

Barry: I am looking. I am seeing … Avon in an entirely new light.

Ramon: This is big. This is huge.

Barry: I think it very well could be.

Ramon: I want to cook something.

Barry: I could eat. (We see Smith on the 2nd floor balcony of the motel with his Avon Catalog)

Smith: Look!

Barry: Come closer! (Smith runs over to them with his catalog)

Smith: Look! (He holds the catalog up and we see that it has the same monad symbols on the same pages.)

Barry: Those same marvelous figures.

Smith: (to Ramon) What did she tell you about these?

Ramon: Nothing.

Smith: This is huge.

Barry: Ramon’s thinking of cooking.

Smith: I’m sure the Yosts would appreciate that.


(Cut to the Yost kitchen, we see Mitch carefully coming in the door and looking around. Erlemeyer follows him in)


Mitch: Yeah, we built a-a room in the back for our grandson.

Erlemeyer: Oh. Is he different after what happened?

Mitch: (Realizing that he doesn’t have a clue) Well that’s hard to say. You know? So, uh, you… you want a-a water? (Erlemeyer motions a yes, Mitch goes and gets one from the fridge as Erlemeyer is looking at Mitch’s surfing trophies on a shelf. Mitch returns with the water) Yeah, they’re going green.

Erlemeyer: Dust to dust. Thanks.


(Cut to a street in I.B. We see Bill in his truck pull up behind the cop Anderson who is writing a motorist a ticket. Bill gets out of his truck and approached Anderson)


Bill: Anderson! Anderson!

Anderson: Get back in your vehicle sir!

Bill: A situation … individuals you wanna be lookin’ for – in an unofficial capacity.

Anderson: Stop right where you are! Step off the street please!

Bill: (Frustrated) Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ! (He walks over to the curb to wait. A young guy on a skateboard skates by Bill and says: )

Guy: Still skating officer Jacks!

Bill: Until you break your goddamn neck! (Anderson finishes with the motorist and sends him away, then walks over to Bill)

Anderson: What a coincidence running into you, Bill. Seeing as you’re the reason I’m out here.

Bill: Be on the lookout for a white male, Anderson, early to mid 20’s, 6’2”, medium build, brown hair in a poodle cut.

Anderson: You know I’m writing summonses on the street the next 10 days because you stole the handle off a drinking fountain at the station house and I covered for your ass!

Bill: Anderson! Anderson! You’ve gotta focus on the matter at hand! (Bill lays on the hood of his truck, clearly distressed. Anderson sees this and starts to pay attention)

Anderson: All right, tell me what’s he done, this guy we’re looking for under the radar.


(Cut to Mitch’s fort interior as he enters with Erlemeyer. They see the disarray that Cissy has left there. Erlemeyer looks off in the distance behind the property and sees the military radio facility across the lagoon. He stares at it for a bit while Mitch is inside looking at the damage)


Mitch: Neighborhood punks.

Erlemeyer: Yeah. (We see Cissy pulling into the driveway and hear her car. Mitch goes outside to look. Mitch goes down the stairs, and meets Cissy coming up the driveway. She takes a big swing at Mitch and misses. Mitch grabs her to restrain her.)

Mitch: (struggling) Jeez, goddamn… Cissy! Goddamn it!

Cissy: Fuck you! (Panting) Is that … that’s the fucking chemist, isn’t it! Huh! I hope you brought a carload of acid, Mitch, and some beads and a fucking bong! (Still struggling with Mitch as Erlemeyer pretends to not notice) Shaunie’s gone! He’s been taken!

Mitch: You wanna tell me what you mean? (He lets her go)

Cissy: He was here last night… in his bed! And now he’s gone!

Mitch: And you looked…

Cissy: Fuck you! Fuck you!! (She storms off towards the house.) Everywhere! (Goes inside)

Mitch: (To Erlemeyer, who’s still pretending not to notice) Excuse me. (Mitch goes inside leaving Erlemeyer alone. Erlemeyer is trying to see over the fence in the direction of the radio facility)


(Cut to the Yost kitchen as Mitch enters. Cissy is dumping her purse out, looking for a cig.)


Cissy: I’ve looked! We’ve looked! Everybody’s looking who isn’t soul surfing in Baja with fucking Captain Crunch!

Mitch: Will you walk me through it?

Cissy: Walk you through what?

Mitch: Well, everything. What happened?

Cissy: Why? What the fuck are you gonna do about it?! (She shoves the butcher-block island into Mitch’s legs)

Mitch: Goddamn it! (He tosses the island aside and steps into her face) Maybe I can help.

(We see Erlemeyer in the yard looking around. He notices a rake next to the house and picks it up. He carries the rake up the stairs to Mitch’s fort)

(Back inside again)

Mitch: OK, there’s a tape on the computer, and John says, “Shaun will be gone.”

Cissy: In front of a black curtain.

Mitch: Yeah, I know that Cissy. I just don’t know why that’s important.

Cissy: He looked like a fuckin’ raghead!

Mitch: He was wearing a burnoose?

Cissy: What’s a bur-moose, asshole?

Mitch: The – the covering they wear on their heads.

Cissy: No!

Mitch: Well then, that made him look like an Arab?

Cissy: It looked like one of those terrorist threat messages.

Mitch: Oh, Jesus!

Cissy: There was a stick figure drawn on the curtain in white chalk or paint or some fucking thing! Bill questioned him about it.

Mitch: How could Bill question him if they’ve disappeared?

Cissy: Um… the message was posted, we freaked out, John came back, Bill questions him… and Freddy…

Mitch: About where Shaun was?

Cissy: And Shaun was at fucking SeaWorld with that bitch who spit him out.

Mitch: Oh… All right, Cissy, I’m trying to follow.

Cissy: Bill questions him. Freddy questions him. The bitch brings him back from the dolphin tank. Everything looks like it’s all right. Linc signs Shaun to a contract…

Mitch: What the fuck?!

Cissy: (She hauls off and kicks Mitch hard in his bad leg) Piss in my ear about that with Shaun kidnapped! (Mitch is in pain, she realizes she has hurt him)

Mitch: You know, if Freddy talked to John, either John told him what’s going on or he’s in pieces in a freezer someplace.

Cissy: He walked out of that room covered in blood.

Mitch: John?

Cissy: And happy as a clam.

Mitch: Well that’s it! The guy’s got some kind of supernatural power!

Cissy: Oh really? You think so. Mitch?

Mitch: Yeah, and it’s obviously part of something that’s bigger than he is, Cissy. If you remember, I went up in the air.

Cissy: Why couldn’t you have gone off a cliff?

Mitch: OK, OK.

Cissy: And there’s been another fuckin’ message, OK? Another curtain. No John… two stick figures.

Mitch: Any message?

Cissy: I just said there was another fuckin’ message!

Mitch: I know, I…but…with…words, like “Shaun will be gone” like there was with the last one?

Cissy: No!

Mitch: So… but they’re both gone. Look… somebody has got to walk point.

Cissy: What do you mean: “Walk point”?

Mitch: Like talk to the cops and the press and the…that whole deal.

Cissy: And you would do that?

Mitch: Yeah, well, I did the public service announcements. “Clean up the sloughs.”

Cissy: And you hated it.

Mitch: Yeah, but I did it, Cissy. That’s the point. I’m ju….I’m just saying give me the weight. That’s all I’m saying. I’m here. Let me take it.


(Cut to Freddy’s motel room, he and Palaka are together, Palaka is keeping watch at the door.)


Freddy: Tell me what you see. (Palaka turns around and looks at Freddy)

Palaka: You. (Freddy gives him a dirty look and Palaka turns around again) Uh, looking at the gin mill, what do I see? Nothing since they…they closed the door behind them. The Mexican, the doctor and the homo.

Freddy: Find out what’s going on.

Palaka: Go over…just…

Freddy: Find out what they’re doing in there.

Palaka: I’ll just ask ‘em, that’s all, right? It’s supposed to be a closed premises. (We see Dickstein drive in to the lot and park) It’s the lawyer getting out of the Lexus. Hey! They’re in the bar! Them two that I see you with, they’re in with the physician! (Dickstein waves and heads to the bar. ) So now…I go over, right? “Did you get in alright?” and so forth. How I open with the Jew.

Freddy: Ask him what happened to my bear.


(Cut to Mitch’s fort, we see Erlemeyer using the rake to pile up all the Cissy debris into a pile in the center of the room.)


(Cut to the Snug Harbor bar, the group is seated at a table and comparing the 2 examples of the Avon catalogs. Dickstein walks in)


Dickstein: I… we uh… Dwayne… who has the cleft palate, spends him time in the internet café…

Ramon: What about him?

Dickstein: Dwayne and I sent a message to those responsible for Shaun Yost’s disappearance.

Ramon: Did they get it?

Dickstein: We don’t k